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  1. What In The World? by Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, January 31, 2013

    What In The World?

    For quite some time I've felt like I'm living in the future. What gives me that vaguely queasy feeling I'm an extra* in a (can turn dank, damp, dark and dangerous any minute) sci-fi flick?  Well, I thought it would be moving walkways at the airport, or cars (for the BLIND!) that drive and parallel park themselves as they answer your phone, while screening a favorite episode of Hoarders.  To my surprise it has been my slow, but steady embrace of a lack of privacy; under the disguise of energy efficient or labor saving devices.  Please note this is coming from a woman who, in the previous century, was last to get a touch tone (land-line) phone and (with an embarrassed tone) still have one today.

    “With every coy head nod, causal hand wave and deep eye gaze, I felt he knew me.”  Carla Diana’s Opinion Page article in this week's New York Times, Our Talking, Walking, Objects, sparked my most recent bout of RP, Righteous Paranoia.
                                                                              
    I have not had the rapture Carla Diana describes, of the “emotional value” derived from interacting with Siri; or the profound bonding experience she recounts from a Roomba vacuum review:  “We have named our new Roomba Rosie. She is my new best friend.”  
                                                        
    Carla is poetic, damn near orgasmic, as she describes behavior of “robots… entering our homes in subtle ways, through countertop appliances, hand-held tools and wearable gadgets….”   Behaviors like, washing machines calling you to do laundry, a pill bottle opening its lid to offer you a dose, and a fork vibrating when you are eating too fast.  The Hitchcockian/Twilight Zone/Outer Limits implications write themselves in my italics.  Dear Reader**, when I’m eating so fast that I need a robot to shake my fork out of my mouth, (in my best Diana Ross voice) “Come see about me!”
                                                                                                             
    Of course my bottom line is that all these technological devices “serving” us will also be collecting data. If not now, soon enough our every deed and thought will be recorded and subject to possible, make that probable judicial review.  Righteous Paranoia?  I think so!  When my most “sublime experiences” are engendered by a robot, I will have lost connection to my last sense of humanity; and I beg you (in my best Diana Ross voice) “Come see about me!”
      
    Or at least come see me, 10 PM tonight at The World in the Broadway Comedy Club, NYC.  Uh hmmn, wow, this is embarrassing, but I have to cut this self-serving plug of the moment short, because my 
    AcuVibe Human Touch Heated Massager is calling me…

    Rhonda Hansome 
    10 PM tonight -  Thurs. Jan. 31
    The World
     Broadway Comedy Club 318 West 53rd St. NYC

    *Damn, not even a Lead, Featured or Day Player in my own totalitarian fantasies (we all know it is reality, but just play along for now.

    **All beautiful four (up from three) of you! BTW thanks for leaving comments.  That makes me feel like more than just Big Brother is reading my blog.
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  2. 3 comments:

    1. Lisa Harmon said...

      Rhonda FB already knows everything about all of us, including when we're eating too fast!

    2. She So Funny said...

      Love the Righteous Paranoia. By the way... have you seen this? http://www.amazon.com/Squiggle-Wiggle-Writer-Vibrating-Motorized/dp/B0042SYPN4/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1359905935&sr=8-3&keywords=vibrator+pen

      ~Samantha

    3. Rhonda said...

      Samantha, just catching up to some replies from my phone which I can't do from a computer. Thanks for the link.

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