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  1. Not to Ruin a Beautiful Day

    Tuesday, August 25, 2020


    I had a different and much needed day yesterday (Monday).  My buddy/best friend/unofficially adopted brother decided to get me out of my apartment and get me moving.  We’ve begun to ride in his car together recently after lots of isolating.  He removed any financial obstacles – treated me to brunch and dinner and brought other treats.  We went up to a park in Tarrytown where there was a stream.  We enjoyed being outdoors, in nature, and with our feet in the stream.  The sound of the water running over the rocks was so peaceful.


    We talked, which is one of our favorite sports.  We’ve been friends for over 40 years.  It is such a pleasure to be together and talk as freely as we do.  We understand each other deeply.  It is wonderful. 


    A friend shared this with me, and I know you will LOVE this.  It is just a couple of minutes, and it will have you smiling for sure.  𑠇☺


    I tried to watch the Republican National Convention, but the dishonesty was ruining my mood after such a nice day.  I switched to game shows and later to Mannix.  He was one of my many crushes when I was a teen.


    I’ll watch MSNBC and see the clips they air of the RNC, but it is hard to watch RNC lying filth. 





    So much love to CGG-M  ❤💛


    Hesitation, Hope, & Holes


    I’ve been enjoying the Democratic National Convention.  So full of humans, the kind that come with intelligence, compassion, a conscience, love for their families, etc.  The kind that doesn’t lick the likes of Putin.  Though I’m afraid to get too excited, I am feeling hopeful.  But I painfully remember last presidential election.  I thought there was no way the orange one could get in.  I then learned I was living in a NYC bubble.  Now I am conscious of the fact that many people who share the country I do actually believe the orange one is their hero, even as their family members die and babies are caged.


    This Bronx artist, Shellyne Rodriguez, has done a series of work honoring the front line workers.  I think her work is riveting.


    The writer/director/producer of PRESSURE, Abdu Dandridge, was interviewed on a radio station in South Carolina.  I am sharing it here to share with you what a lovely disposition this talented man has.  I hope I get to work with him again.  His vibes make me feel good.  I do best when working with humans like him.  I played a substitute teacher in PRESSURE.


    I put earrings in my pierced ears today for the first time in months.  I was afraid that if I didn’t, the holes might close up.


    Stop laughing.




    Huge love to and concern for CGG-M  ❤💛💚❤


  3. Bubbling

    Friday, August 14, 2020


    I am bubbling with appreciation.  After my last blog entry, a former colleague (who works in a partner program from where I worked) told me he enjoyed the blogs and wanted to send me some money as a “subscription fee.”  He seemed to be concerned about my feelings about being offered money.  I felt bad that he was concerned I might be insulted.  I’m not.  He has always been kind to me, and there’s no reason for me to have mixed feelings about his generosity.  I know the difference.  I’ve received monetary gifts from those who want my silence and from those who just want to feel good about themselves.  There’s a huge difference when someone just wants to help me out.  It’s pure.


    Joe Biden selected Kamala Harris as VP.  She wasn’t my first choice, but I think  they are a good balance.  A friend once described her as an ass-kicker.  She is.  They won’t be calling her “Sleepy Kamala.”  And she must scare the SHIT out of the orange one.  Biden and Harris have my support.  People, please put aside your specific preferences and vote for Biden.  Puh-leese.  Neither Biden nor Harris would have ruined thousands of children’s lives by separating them from their parents and losing them to be trafficked to a Jeffrey Epstein-type island. 


    I’m sorry if many of you feel like you have to choose the lesser evil, but please do.  PLEASE.  I don’t think I can bear any more torment by a malignant narcissist.  I’ve painfully learned how dangerous they can be even when not in charge of a country.  It’s no joke.  They have no bottom in terms of how low they are willing to go.  They are willing to F up their own children.  I’ve seen it up close and personal.  My heart is torn over personal narcissistic damage, not just to me but to my dearest loved ones.


    Narcissists proudly leave a path of destruction.  I’ve learned that the terribly hard way.

    Regarding the pandemic, I’m not in the position of having a school-aged child at this time.  I consider myself lucky not to have to handle parenthood in a pandemic.  I’m sure it would be a very challenging time for all.  But I doubt I would risk his life by sending him to school next month.  My son was always more important to me than money.  I wish Trump felt the same.


    I’m gratefully attending a poetry workshop on line.  It’s one I’d been attending in person for some years on and off when I was able to.  They took it to Zoom during this pandemic.  My computer has no webcam or mic, but the workshop leader, David Elsasser (Happy birthday, David), makes it work for me anyway.  I am truly grateful.  I send him my poem and he screen-shares it.  After all the feedback, we speak on the phone and he puts me on speaker.  He makes it all work out.  It is truly one of the highlights of my week. 


    I’d been working on a poem addressing the women who act like I’m after their husbands.  It was nuts at one of my previous jobs regarding that.  And even up the block where a woman whose man is a drug dealer seemed to think that.  I was like are you fucking kidding me?  I wanted none of them.  So it was long due for a poem.


    I was concerned if the poetry workshop folks would get what I’m saying, but they didn’t let me down. ❤💗❤


    I look forward to returning to comedy again.  I hope I’m still funny.

    I just learned a film I acted in several years back is now released and going world-wide!!!  I hope I get discovered by someone in a position to change my financial situation.  I played a substitute teacher.  The director was a lovely man to work with -- Abdu Dandridge.  The film, PRESSURE, is available for rent or purchase.


    Big love to CGG-M every day.  💕💕💕💕







  4. Just Being Grateful

    Sunday, August 9, 2020


    I went to the store earlier.  On my way back home, there had been a collision on the Grand Concourse.  Both were SUVs, and one had Virginia plates.  It was where I’d have been crossing the street.  These are the moments I feel God/dess is cloaking me.  👼


    I had looked for my feline friend, Mustache, who lives in the discount store, twice today.  Didn’t see her.  When she does see me, she seems to be exclaiming, “Where you been?”  I tell her I’ve been by looking for her, but she doesn’t understand all that.  😻


    Later, I went to a store that only allows one customer at a time.  The man in front of me tied his dog to a pole outside.  The dog seemed so cool with everything.  When the human went inside, I said hello to the dog.  S/he wagged and came right over.  I petted her/him.  S/he was so loving.  When the dog’s human returned, I said, “I hope you don’t mind.”  He said, “It’s fine.” 


    Getting some dog love on 198th Street was so wonderful.  Dogs might just be the best people on Earth. 


    In decluttering news:  Just threw out a written phone message (remember when people wrote down who called, when, and what about?) from 2002.  I think at some point I felt my life stopped when I felt very stuck in a situation I needed out of.  Now decluttering is truly an adventure back in time, and it is both emotionally disturbing and satisfying. 


    In a bit of poetry news, Highland Park Poetry selected a poem of mine.  


    In comedy news: 




    Much love to CGG-M   💕

    Healthy birthday to Brenda W.   🎂