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  1. Beyond Disturbing

    Saturday, April 17, 2021

    I learned that a woman working construction in the Bronx (City Island) was murdered by a man who brought her food and wanted to have a ‘relationship’ with her other than friendship. She was 52 years old. He was 66. I guess he never learned to handle rejection or understand that murder is not foreplay. Makes me wonder how many others he killed. She couldn’t have been the first person to tell him no. All this woman did was introduce him to her boyfriend. I admit that this tragedy just made me feel more convinced that it is never safe. The woman was 52! She was wearing her hard hat. It was daytime. But she had the nerve to not be available. She must’ve thought she was a person or something. Punishable by death. The murderer was caught. The woman’s actual boyfriend was nearby and chased him down, and a friend joined in the chase. They held him for the police. All that is good. It would be worse if he got away. But she’s dead. At 52. For believing she has the fuckin’ right to say no.

  2. Do I Look Like A Man To You?

    Monday, April 5, 2021


     







    I have an appointment for tomorrow, Tuesday, 4/6, for my first shot.  I’m nervous.  Everyone has such different reactions to the first and second shots.  The location is not near me or easy to get to by public transportation.  My best friend has a dental appointment that day.  I still hope to figure out how he can help me since our appointments are two hours apart, and he drives.    But it’s not looking good.


    In the past two weeks, I have been mistaken for a man several times.  I was called “Sir” earlier by a man trying to get people to come to his church.  I didn’t accept his pamphlet and didn’t tell him I’m a woman.  I just shook my head no and kept walking.  It seems to happen when I don’t wear make-up or earrings and do have my hood up.  Then the mask covers half my face.  I guess it doesn’t take much.  Don’t even have to whip it out and pee in the street.


    In the last blog, I mentioned having a lung scan.  I’ve since received the results.  So far, okay.  Whew.  Getting the results is the hardest part for me.

     

    I do have indications on my lungs of past issues.  In the second half of 2019, I had Legionnaire’s.  Then in the spring of 2020, I had a mild case of COVID.  I now have breathing issues, of course made worse by smoking.  I have a ways to go to get okay again.


    I’ve had so many vivid dreams in the past months.  Last night, it was a young man, maskless, coming over to me to sit and talk.  I didn’t know him.  I was flailing my arms and telling him, “No! I didn’t get my vaccination yet.”

     

    You like?

     



     

    I have extra-large.  If interested for you or as a gift, contact me at mindyinthebronx@gmail.com and put “T-shirt” in the subject line.

     

     

     

     

    Much love to CGG-M ❤❤❤

     

    Mindy Matijasevic


  3. This Begins and Ends with Pussy

    Friday, March 26, 2021

     







    One of my regular readers once told me he feels like he knows Mustache, my feline friend who lives in a discount store on 198th Street, from my many mentions of her in this blog.  He asked if I had pictures.  I didn’t.  I took a few since then but she was moving, so they are a bit blurry.  This is the girl who loves me.

     



     

    I confess that in all this time, I have not worked consistently on comedy writing.  I’m sporadic with that.  I’ve kept up somewhat with poetry and decluttering.  My latest poem:

     

    In order to date

    ever again

    I need

    a huge

    condom

    for

    my

    heart

     

     

     Mindy Matijasevic

    3/15/2021

     

     

    In the past month and a half, I had a chest x-ray, an ultrasound on my veins, and a lung scan.  The x-ray was okay-ish.  The veins have no clots at this time.  The lung scan results aren’t in yet.  I have more to go in the medical part of my life.  I hate that whole reality.  I just hate it.

     

    On a positive note, I have taken steps with the t-shirt stuff I spoke about in the last blog.  I’m getting excited.

     

    If you can spare less than a minute, this is a real feel-good experience.  Enjoy!

     

     


     

     

    Love to CGG-M ❤❤❤  

    Mindy Matijasevic


  4. T-Shirt Teaser

    Saturday, March 13, 2021

     








    I hope to soon be presenting to you my t-shirt line.  I have been planning too long and have to make it happen now.  I need to do something.  My friend and former co-worker, Kerstin, suggested I have matching mugs and sell as a set.  I may start with the shirts, but I really like her idea.  The line was inspired when a male told me I was a “selfish bitch.”  I’m so far from either of those things, but when some people don’t get what they want, they default to that view.

     

    Previously, a man in a double-parked car once yelled to me asking me the time (as if he couldn’t see the time on his dashboard somewhere).  I told him “I don’t know.”  Then he told me, “Come here.”  I’m sure my face looked like, “Get the fuck outta here.”  I kept walking.  He called me a bitch.  I yelled back, “You’re the bitch.”  A young man seeing this from his window laughed.  I walked more quickly.  That’s when it became so clear to me how people use the word.  Basically, if you don’t do what I say, and you are female, you are a bitch.  I wanted to wear a badge saying: Proud Bitch.  But since the word is interpreted so differently, I won’t wear such a badge.

     

    When I was growing up, “bitch” was a term used for a mean woman.  Then I  learned it meant a female dog.  Disturbing.  As an adult, I realized the word had become a synonym for woman.  Grrrr.  I don’t use it that way.  I don’t find it funny when comics call female paying customers “bitches.”  I still use the word for a mean woman.  One who truly earns it.

     

    My t-shirts shed a different light, and I hope I get it going very, very soon.  Stay tuned.

     

     

     

    Love always to CGG-M  ❤ ❤ ❤

     

     

    Mindy Matijasevic


  5. Getting Through

    Tuesday, March 9, 2021

     



    The more I watch Dateline, the more I am glad I’m not partnered up with anyone in any kind of romantic situation.  Lordy, Lordy.

     

    In terms of the pandemic, I’m not yet vaccinated.  I still don’t hug my friends.  It feels so strange.  When we can hug again, it is going to feel like sex.

     

    The positive news I have is I received a beautiful anthology, After the Clouds, the Sun, with two of my poems in it.  My poems are “Living in Peace” and “Rotary Phone.”  http://roguescholars.com/anydswpe/info.html


    Then I received a link to the online journal, Home Planet News.  I have four poems in there – “With women and children on the street …,” “Not For Me,” “’Wear a smile’, she said,” and “Hey.” 


    https://homeplanetnews.org/8-66MindyMatijasevic.html



    I’ve done a significant amount of decluttering and that is always a good thing.  More is waiting for me.  I look forward to the day I am done with that. 

     

    In the past month and a half, three people sent me money, two stores extended me credit, and my long-time friend Judy gave me bags of food and household products.  “Food” includes wine.  I can’t even describe how I feel.  Grateful, blessed, and shocked begins it, I guess.


    Sometimes I watch youtube videos of things I’ve done to remind myself of things I’ve done.  This one was fun.  A stretch for me, since I was supposed to be a Dominican woman.  I don’t know that I was convincing of that, but my co-actor kept telling me that many American-born Latinas/os don’t speak Spanish well.  The best for me was when the writer was in the audience and told me she thought I did a great job.  The play was about her sister, and she felt I captured that character.  This video is the dress rehearsal, so it wasn’t filled with actual audience.  Still, I enjoyed watching it.  It’s less than ten minutes.


     




     

     

     

    Unconditional love to CGG-M!  ❤❤❤

     

    Mindy Matijasevic


  6. Gloved Love in the Neighborhood

    Sunday, February 21, 2021

     








    It had been quite a number of days since I had any time with my feline friend, Mustache, who lives in the discount store down 198th Street.  Today I went in there to use the ATM.  While waiting for the machine to process my request, someone was rubbing against my leg and saying “meow.” 


    “Mustache, it’s so nice to see you.  I’ve missed you.”


    After getting my cash, I bent down to give Mustache some petting.  She jumped up on some boxes.  “Yes, that makes it easier for me,” I told her.  She clearly had missed me too.


    One of the people in the store was telling me how much the cat loves me and that I should take her home.  This man tells me that whenever we are all in the store at the same time.  I always tell him that she’s not up for adoption, that she lives in the store.  This man is always trying to convince me that Mustache loves me and doesn’t act this way with anyone else.  I let him know that I know she loves me and that she knows I love her.  Another customer chimed in, “She gives the cat love.”  I nodded to her and we both smiled which is recognizable even with masks on.  It also struck me how much the woman didn’t find the love a mystery whereas the man always seems to sound like it’s unbelievable.


    So Mustache and I continued our affection session.  I had knit gloves on and wondered if that felt more like her cat mother to her.  And then the man told me that she caught a rat earlier.  “It was almost as big as the cat.”  I made gagging sounds.  He hurried to assure me that she caught it but didn’t eat it.  I shuddered anyway.  I continued to pet her and even told her, “You did your job.”  But I was so glad I had my gloves on the whole time. 



    to CGG-M


    Mindy Matijasevic

     


  7. Peeking out of Hibernation

    Friday, February 19, 2021


     






    Hi people.  I went AWOL for a couple of months.  Hibernating in a way.  Thanks to many of you for checking in on me.  The holidays, the cold, and falling into a funk of sorts just had me feeling not very communicative.

     

    I’m dealing with health issues and lack of money.  Such fun.

     

    People from different areas of my life have been very generous to me.  In that way, I feel very, very lucky.   And I am very, very grateful.

     

    My most productivity is when I am decluttering in my apartment.  I’m just amazed at how much stuff is in here.  Unbelievable.  It feels good to fill garbage bags.  It also feels good to fill bags for the shelter in my neighborhood.

     

    I weigh more than I have ever weighed in my life (including when nine months pregnant).  I think sitting way too much is a big factor.

     

    Some pandemic confessions:

            I am finding it easier and easier to be a hermit.  I rarely even return phone calls.

            I got hooked on a season of “The Bachelorette.”  I had never watched  it before.  Not my thing.  Yet I got hooked.

            Shamefully, I got interested in “The Bachelor” as well.

            One day I really sunk.  I couldn’t tolerate listening to Trump’s defense attorneys anymore, and I watched half of the Maury show.  Yeah, the “You ARE the father” show.  I was shocked at myself.  I haven’t done that again.

           

    I am soooooo looking forward to the relief check.  I need it just to catch up with some things and stock up on some things.  It’s not about a trip to Cancun for me.

     

     

     

    Much love to CGG-M  ❤❤❤