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  1. Blogging Goals By Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, November 24, 2016

    Half-baked, newly formed social media goals filled my head when I started writing here. Numerous sources said Blogging could be a quick route to Klout perks, career renewal, internet fame and possible fortune. Four years later I don't know the last time I got a decent Klout perk. Is Klout even still a thing?

    I remember the 1st time I unintentionally circulated a fake story, I felt duped, bamboozled and awsomely naive.  After I fall for the number 1 quality of fake news, just enough plausible crap to confirm my biases, I become a re-posting machine. Believe me, it's not fun trying to remember on which social media platform (Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn or Periscope) I plastered a blatant falsehood, about cucumbers no less!



    This week when I heard fake news bloggers generate $10,000 per month, blogging bullsh!t, I paused to examine my life choices.

    The impact fake news had on this month's election, exposed the frightful state of my power of discernment; on life-support with poor prospects for survival.

    I doubt I will Snopes fact-check everyone of the gazillion articles slithering the screens of my multiple devices.

    I bought into the social media dream. Now I'm living the click-bait nightmare.

    Comments under blogs like this signal interest to advertising $$$. However I've chosen to write on this site with a multiple step comment process confounding to my most ardent fan. Hail the efficiency and convenience of the digital age!

    Enjoy our national myth of Thanksgiving as we assault Native American water protectors and their allies at Standing Rock. If that's not enough irony for you, our president-elect is Donald Trump. Need a laugh?

    Come See Me Roast Tina Graham!






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  2. What's going to happen to us?

    Tuesday, November 1, 2016

               

              Last week, I was one of two featured readers at a poetry reading in Brooklyn.  My co-feature was David Elsasser.  It was warmly hosted by Evie Ivy at the Green Pavilion on 18th Avenue where the prices are right.  It was a long haul from the Bronx and very worth it.  I had a blast.  However, the reason I bring it up is this:  A woman who contributed to the open mic shared something before her poetry.  She said that on an escalator (she named the building, but I don’t recall it) many years ago, she too was groped by Donald Trump.  When she turned around startled, he told her that she should feel good because he doesn’t usually grope women like her.  She asked, “Do I still have a job?”

            I admit, at first, I didn’t know if this woman was for real or not.  But when she described his response, I thought, yeah, that sounds like him.  She wasn’t tall and glamorous or blonde.  So in his mind, he flattered her.

           Then a few days later, the FBI is again investigating Hillary. 

           What’s going to happen to us?

           Can Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren and Michelle Obama and Joe Biden please step in?   

           On a positive note, the first part of episode 3 of Comics Watching Comics appears tomorrow!  I have no idea what part of episode 3 I will be shown in, so I'll be watching them all.



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  3. Campaign Fatigue By Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, October 27, 2016



    I thought I had Campaign Fatigue.

    It's really Cognitive Dissonance in disguise.



    Festinger's (1957) cognitive dissonance theory suggests that we have an inner drive to hold all our attitudes and beliefs in harmony and avoid disharmony (or dissonance)





    Dilbert offers an example of Cognitive Dissonance: 


    It's no secret the DNC stacked the deck against my original choice. 

    Thanks a lot!

     I struggle daily to maintain the delusion, illusion, magical thinking that my part in the
     American Electoral Process
    means something.

    Day by day the Wikileaks drip, drip, drip makes me feel like I can't defend my lesser of two evils.

    Sisyphus had it easy compared to what this electoral cycle has done to my psyche.


    I'm simultaneously in on and the victim of a national election joke.

    I'm not for a candidate I'm against the other.


    Without enthusiasm, I say vote.
    In the throes of Cognitive Dissonance I will hold my nose and mark my ballot.


    I majored in sociology. It haunts me everyday. 


    When will my head explode?

    Find out this week

    One place or another

    8:00 PM Fri. Oct. 28th @ Broadway Comedy Club


    5:00 PM Sat. & Sun. Oct. 29th & 30th @ Don't Tell Mama


    10:45 PM Mon. Oct. 31st  @ Theater For The New City - Cabaret 




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  4. Who You Gonna Call? By Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, October 20, 2016


    It is a living nightmare to be mentally ill.
    It is an  inferno of internal suffering to be in the throes of emotional turmoil.
    No doubt the multi-layered issues of caring for a mentally ill loved one can test the mettle of the strongest among us.

    Consider that you and your emotionally vulnerable relative have lived your entire lives subject to the implicit racism of every authority figure encountered.

    Implicit racism, broadly defined, refers to an individual’s utilization of unconscious biases when making judgments about people from different racial and ethnic groups ... implicit racism is an automatic negative reaction to someone of a different race or ethnicity than one’s own.

    If your disturbed relative erupts in a violent episode, where do you turn to deescalate your overwhelming situation?

    If your first thought is to call the police, I question your understanding of implicit racism.
    I wake weekly to the traumatizing news of police excessive force. The solution eludes me.

    Produced by the Frank Silvera Writer's Workshop, Baton explores intimate relationships in the storm of police abuse of power.

    7 PM Mon. Oct 24th I direct the FREE reading of  Baton, by Deneen Reynolds-Knott, in the Skylight Gallery, Bed-Stuy Restoration Plaza, Fulton St. Between Brooklyn Ave & New York Avenue.
    Featuring 
    Marki Michelle, Daniel Carlton, Carter Winter, Helene Galek, James Joseph Aquino, Will Young, Althea Vyfus, Dorie Casper with assist by Gaynelle Jasper.



    Rhonda Hansome is an actor, coach and stand-up comic who directs as Passion



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  5. 3rd of the Good Karma Series & Other Stuff

    Tuesday, October 18, 2016





    So this is a bit late – I guess I took an unannounced, unplanned vacation from blogging.  I left you after two parts of a sort of good karma series.  The last slice is this.  I planned to cut off my long hair and return to a simpler life of short hair.  I figured I’m not going to grow it long again.  (If I move up the financial mountain significantly and can afford others to deal with my hair, I’d consider it.)  So this was my chance to donate my hair to a place that makes wigs for cancer patients who can’t afford wigs.  There are many places, and they have different requirements.  I sent my braid to the Angel Hair Foundation in Oregon. 


      
    And now I look like this…        
                                                          

          
    Before going to get my hair cut, I played a game of Quick Draw and for hitting none of the numbers, I won five dollars. 

    The homeless man in the park, the pigeon on the train, my hair off to Oregon -- all followed by some monetary luck – seemed so connected to me. 

    But in general, I am financially f’d.  As I mentioned a couple of blogs back, my second job closed down.  The program doesn’t exist anymore.  And getting from paycheck to paycheck and not getting evicted or services turned off has been very hard.  By the time payday comes, I owe so much of my check to others who helped me get through.  Even carfare to go to free things is an issue.  Luckily I walk to my day job.  And since I work on a college campus, there’s sometimes free food to be had.

    So I once again ask my readers to keep me in mind and spread the word regarding:

    ·        Proofreading – I’ve worked on and off over the years as a proofreader for law firms, financial institutions, advertising agencies, and my favorite: individual creative writers.  I’m willing to pick up and deliver the work.

    ·        Artist’s model – clothed and nude for fine artists (those who paint, draw, sculpt). Photographers on a case by case basis. I’m not a Twiggy, and I’d be considered “mature.”


    ·        Paid comedy gigs

    ·        Paid acting roles

    ·        Paid poetry featured readings

    ·        Depending on location, I can attend to people’s cats while they are away. (I do well with cats and dogs.)

    On an exciting note, a while back I shared that I did a set for a taping of Comics Watching Comics.  I will be in episode 3.  I have no idea what the comics watching said or how they reacted to my stuff, but I know when I did it, the audience and I had a blast.  Episode 3 will be appearing in parts starting later this week.  I don’t know what part I’ll be in.  I’m excited.  I’m being very brave to share this when I don’t know what they said about my stand-up.  That’s a benefit of getting older – the oh fuck it attitude.  I’m looking forward to this adventure.



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  6. I'm Not Yelling by Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, September 29, 2016



    Sometimes I hate Gloria, my GPS. On my way to work this morning she told me to get off 278 in Queens to make my way to the Pulaski Bridge. Too late after exiting, I realized Gloria was up to her old tricks. Gloria had placed me in the 6 lane midst of a less than 2 mile artery, not moving.

    NOT MOVING!
    Did I mention I was on my way to work on a TV show?
    Did I mention I got up at 5:30 this morning?

    I sat in traffic watching Gloria's screen increase my estimated arrival by the minute. 10 minutes later when the cop car in front of me peeled into the oncoming lane, I thought I should follow him, but I thought again and watched my ETA grow later and later.

    I surreptitiously dialed the "emergency number" and on speaker, advised the casting office that I was stuck approaching the bridge. I sat in traffic for another 10 minutes.

    When a random car peeled down the oncoming lane, I did the same and inched my way to the Pulaski Bridge and then Gloria instructed me to merge onto 278 to head into Brooklyn.

    BITCH, I WAS ON 278 WHEN YOU TOLD ME TO GET OFF!

    After the bridge and fuming at Gloria, I drove left, right and left, rumbling over cobble stones and found my way to the address where I was to park my "picture car" and told the 1st person I saw wearing a Walkie-Talkie that I was #10. I was almost a half -hour late and the Production Assistant I was talking to had no idea where I was suppose to be. With a heavy french accent the petite brunette, who looked entirely too good at 8:30 am, got on her Walkie-Talkie to find the PA who knew where I should go.

    When she got no response, I ambled over to the breakfast tent, where I decided to leave my Ketogenic Diet in the dust. I dug into grits and potato laden hash with gusto. More than 3 weeks of no alcohol, no bread, no sugar, no rice, no potatoes or ANY carbs, I'd lost almost a half pound?
    F#@k That Diet!

    Frenchie the beautiful PA, approached the array of chafing dishes on display and began to fill to-go plates. In between selections she checked her Walkie-Talkie, and eventually said a van would take me to a different location. Okay... I'm a picture car and a van is going to take me to another location?

    When the van pulled up, Frenchie handed me 2 to-go plates and says, "Give these to Sean." I got in the van. The driver got out of the van, telling Frenchie he needed to get breakfast. I sit in the van. The driver makes HIS breakfast selections and returns with a to-go plate. We rumble over a few cobble stones and he stops the van, gets on his Walkie-Talkie to whosoever, "Anyone else to pick-up?

    We sit in silence. 

    I check my watch. It's almost 9 am! He checks his Walkie-Talkie. Thank goodness there's no one else to pick up and we proceed left, right and left over cobble stones. I think if my Mother was alive, she'd never believe that I showed up for work almost a half-hour late; not HER Rhonda. I look at the 2 to-go plates on my lap and ask. "Where's Sean?"  The driver doesn't know, wouldn't know, shouldn't know because he's a DRIVER. He pulls up by a fence and points to a PA, "Ask HIM where Sean is."

    The PA happens to be holding a to-go plate, "Do you know where Sean is?" He responds, "Sean who?" Of course, I don't know Sean who, Frenchie didn't tell me... "Can you call for Sean on your Walkie-Talkie?" "No, I'm with the 1st team." 

    "I just want to make sure anybody looking for #10, knows I'm here in the van." 
    He says, "You don't have to yell at me."

    But I wasn't yelling 
    I was too tired to yell
    Too anxious to yell

    I know I wasn't yelling because when he said, "You don't have to yell at me.", I really wanted to 
    YELL AT HIM!
    I didn't.

    The rest of the morning in an empty dusty warehouse in Redhook, I changed into and had my picture taken in 3 different coats while I waited for yet another PA to summon me into position as ambiance, what I call background or what you might call "extra" work.

    I was never positioned on camera and we were dismissed by 1 PM. 

    Not a bad day after I stopped beating myself up for not leaving earlier than 7 to get to Brooklyn from the Bronx by 8 AM. But I had to write this blog to stop thinking over and over, when I yell - 
    I YELL!!!
    I wasn't yelling at him.

    I love being on stage at Broadway Comedy Club, but I canceled my midnight spot there tonight, because I have a 5:30 AM report time as background on a movie shooting in Queens tomorrow. 

    I'll have to leave home at 4 AM and go to sleep right now. 






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  7. Gun & Sugar Tricknology by Rhonda Hansome

    Saturday, September 24, 2016



    Tricknology alert!

    Do you visit or live in 1 of the 45 states where 
    (with or without a permit & or license) 
    of a gun  is legal and you carry a gun?



    If you are Black and visit or live in an open carry state, 
    Please Don't Carry The Gun! 
    There is NO WAY a black person with a gun (some might add candy bar, football, bible or Skittles) in an open carry state, can have an encounter with police, over zealous neighborhood watch P.D. wanna be, or fellow gun carrier & have it end well. Okay, maybe 1% of the time all might walk away unharmed... in my dreams.

    Speaking of tricknology, I'm currently on a "fad" diet. I know it's a fad because it was promoted with rows & rows of butter, 

    (Yes I Said Rows) 
    of butter, cheese & meats on a "YOU CAN EAT THIS" list shown on the Dr. Oz Show.

    For 2 weeks I've consciously eaten No Sugar. 
    I say consciously because SUGAR IS EVERYWHERE, even in bacon.

    So give me a shout if you know a good sugar-less bacon, because on Keto I can eat handfuls of that! 

    In the past 2 weeks 
    I've eaten more meat than I've had this entire year. 
     I've had No Starches like pasta, rice, potatoes or legumes
    sometimes known by their less exotic name - beans. 

    On this (Ketogenic) plan, no "diet" or "low-fat" food is allowed & carbs are kept low to none.

    For the past 2 weeks I've consumed Eggs, Cheese, Butter, Olive Oil & Coconut Oil - purported good also for hair & skin BTW; Meat & Fish cooked in/with Butter, Olive or Coconut Oil, String Beans, Leafy Greens & Asparagus dressed with Olive Oil; even Coffee WITH Coconut Oil, Butter & Heavy Cream - AKA Bulletproof Coffee.

    I'm a gullible naive victim of tricknology... for at least another 2 weeks because I'm giving this crazy diet a month.
    Yes that's me on the train eating 
    cream cheese stuffed celery.

    Anyway...
    Leave the gun at home when you come to see me tomorrow - Sunday at Don't Tell Mama








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