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  1. Color Blind by Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, April 23, 2015



    I've conflicting feelings around the phrase, Color Blind.
    When ever I see Color Blind ______ anything inserted in the blank, I feel there's possibly a self-serving trick or subterfuge involved.

    "Color Blind" Casting

    "Color Blind" Society

    "Color Blind" Admissions

    "Color Blind" Test

    I always wonder about overt, covert or historical reasons that necessitate the modifying phrase Color Blind in any context.


    Be advised, I am clear that this short video is a commercial for Valspar.



    I'm glad it made me pause.


    I think I'll feel grateful for small blessings today and try to really enjoy the colors around me.


    Rhonda Hansome writes, acts, coaches and does stand-up. She frequently directs under the name Passion.  Catch her directing work in A Bowl of Chilly's Foreign Mind, weekends through May 3rd at Black Spectrum Theater Company.
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  2. Spreading the Word

    Tuesday, April 21, 2015


     
     
     
    This week, I will share the wonderful work of several others in my blog.

    My friend Meghan McNamara and a friend of hers will be running a summer program for teenage girls interested in science fiction, writing, etc.  The program will be free to the girls.  Although there is always money for war and such, programs that actually help develop people’s interests and gifts need fundraising efforts.  So if you like drinking at a bar, winning raffle prizes, and knowing your money is going to something very worthwhile, consider a fun night on April 29th at the Octavia Project Launch Party! on Fulton Street in Brooklyn.  If you prefer to donate some money and skip the drinking, you will be investing in the future. https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-octavia-project

    My friend Richard Ploetz is having his play Old Flame run at the Theatre for the New City.  His plays are always a stimulating experience.  I'm looking forward to this one.



    smarttix.com http://www.smarttix.com/show.aspx?showcode=old8E0  or by calling the box office (for cash only/will call) @ 212.254.1109

    My friend Ken Machlin (son of friend Sue Machlin) is the cartoonist and author of these two very original and clever books that make fun gifts.

          
     
    They are available on Amazon.  http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Machlin/e/B007OK8772

     
    The Divorced Divas of Comedy will be having our next show at Broadway Comedy Club on Friday, May 29th at 8pm.  $10 + 2-drink minimum.
    Line-up: Ellen Orchid, Mindy Matijasevic, Taffy Jaffe, Leighann Lord



     
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  3. Corpse Compost? By Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, April 16, 2015

    Turn your departed loved ones into mulch!


    Get recycled into eternity!


    Create - Don't cremate!


    Death the gateway to evergreen!


    It's Organic! It's Sustainable! It's Decomposition... naturally!

    I'll admit I have both feet firmly planted in the last century. A decade ago I scoffed at the idea that folks would actually want to watch movies on a, wait for it... PHONE!!! Next year, the latest flicks will be released on your wrist watch!
    How old am I?

    I'm so old, I actually use the word scoff.
    I'm so old, I remember when wearing a wrist watch was for the time, now it's for watching, literally, 24/7!
    I'm so old, I assumed a satin lined casket was in my future, maybe a headstone, or at least an engraved urn of ashes!

    "Not so fast!" says Katrina Spade:


    I'm still cogitating how I feel about this proposed change in the transition process. Heck, I'm still pondering how I feel about using the word cogitating AND calling death a transition!

    What's your take on this?

    Does sustainable death become you?

    Need a laugh after all this talk about death? Make your way to the


    Share & tell your friends I'm part of the festivities!



    Make reservations Right Here!



    See you soon enjoying the laughter!

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  4. how the hell? how the fuck?

    Tuesday, April 14, 2015


     
     
     
     
    Two days after putting my darling Luigi to sleep (amongst other horrible happenings not for public blogging), I was to perform in the third Divorced Divas of Comedy show at the Clarion Theatre in our springtime show.  I advertised it saying if it didn’t feel like spring yet, we’d bring the spring.  I wondered how the hell I was going to do that now. 
    I am the producer as well.  I entertained the idea of replacing myself as a comic in the show.  But I had already advertised the show with me as one of the performers.  I just didn’t know how I would be funny.
    People paid for tickets, and I like to see them leaving very happy about their experience. 
    Not only had I not yet decided on my set, I couldn’t imagine doing it.  I have done well and not done well with the same material, so I know the delivery is the main thing.  And that is what is so difficult when one’s heart is broken and compounded by more shit beneath it and on top of it.  My best buddy in the world knew what I was enduring.  Life would be terribly lonely without such a precious friend. 
    “How the fuck am I supposed to be funny tomorrow?” I asked him.
    “Well, you can just say, ‘Look, I had to put my dog to sleep, and my son hates me. Other than that, I’m a barrel of laughs.’” 
    He, once again, made me laugh in spite of all I was going through.  He’s magic that way.  It helped knowing I could say that line if I needed to.
    One of the other comics invited Michele Balan, (http://www.comicbalan.com/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1) and she came!  She and her beautiful partner attended the show.  I told myself, Mindy, you must put aside all the stuff that is weighing you down.  Don’t fuck this up.  All the pain will be waiting for you.  You must put it temporarily aside.  You know you can be good up there, and you will be good, dammit!
    I introduced the show and the first comic.  I watched her set.  Then it was my turn.  I decided not to say the stuff about my dog and my son.  I felt it would only make me feel better and not the audience.  It did me well just thinking it.  I tried to just be the barrel of laughs.
    I forgot shit and my set was quite under the time I was supposed to do, but I am not going to blacklist myself.  I was proud that I pulled it off at all.  No one in the audience knew what I was going through except for a couple of friends.  I did well with what I did.
    After I introduced the next comic, I went back to sitting near Michele.  She took my hand and said, “You were very good.  You were original and smart.”
    That was the best I could ask for.  I got through it.  I did well.  There was laughter throughout.  I was grateful.  All of the comics -- Ellen Orchid, Taffy Jaffe, Leighann Lord -- did a wonderful job.
    After the show, which was a very, very good show, Michele Balan and her guest drank wine and talked with us in the dressing room.  Michele said that she didn’t remember the last time she went to a comedy show to watch.  And she enjoyed the show!  Yes, I’m proud.

     
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  5. Body Cameras? by Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, April 9, 2015

    And now for our regularly practiced murder of an unarmed man by an Officer of The PEACE. This week the victim is Walter Scott. The (videotaped) perp is Michael Thomas Slager. It doesn't matter that the place is New Charleston, South Carolina; or that the why was a broken tail light. The body count rises. The shattered families mourn.

    I am past outrage. I am past words.
    I fear for the life of the barber who shot this footage on his way to work.
    Body Cameras - Body Cameras - Body Cameras - Body Cameras - Body Cameras - Body Cameras
    is the unified call!

    Every policeman wearing a body camera will NOT change thing the systemic mentality that allows officers to see a black person and act in this Blue Line Culture "situation normal" mode.

     Sorry, Today There's Nothing Funny To See Here


    Rhonda Hansome promises the funny on Thursday April 23rd 8 PM
     Elements Food & Spirits,White Plains NY











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  6.  

    “It’s packed in there,” he said with that not-wanting-to-be-inconvenienced face and tone.  She knew it well.
    “He loves the waiting room with all the other animals.  That’s his favorite part.  Seeing the vet is the part he doesn’t like.”  She knew she’d feel guilty if she didn’t advocate for the dog.  It was his last hour or two of living.  She loved the dog in the way you love someone as part of your being, not only when it is convenient.  “I don’t want to go in just when it’s time to take him straight to the back.”

    “There are five of us, and there are no empty seats in there,” he said. 
    It is the beloved dog’s final hour, and this man still acts like it’s all about him, she thought.  The degree of selfishness chilled her.  That she had once settled for that saddened and disgusted her.  Their son’s pain and rage deeply worried her.

    “I’ve been in there with him when it was really packed and there was hardly any standing room left, like the subway.  There’s space in there.  It’s raining.  He doesn’t like the rain.” 
    She knew, if they argued, their adult son would get upset and aim it at her, so she once again was walking this delicate line.  She considered taking the dog inside anyway with her best friend, but the son wanted to be with the dog and needed his father, the father needed his newest wife, so it would mean five of them.  Though she was putting the dog’s comfort before anyone’s, she generally gets called selfish by the narcissist and portrayed that way by him to those with whom he still has influence.  (Selfish - adjective: not doing what the narcissist wants.) 

    After a while of staying outside, she looked at the time, and it was 11:29.
    “They estimated 11:30.  It’s time.”  She opened the door and walked in with the dog.  The others followed.  The first to greet the dog was a six-month old Dalmatian who was all into playing and jumping and had no problem with getting her rear sniffed. 

    A seat opened and the newest wife sat.  She only speaks Spanish and was able to talk with a woman next to her.  Then two seats became available which were offered to the narcissist and the son.  She stood near them, so she could be with the dog, who wanted Mommy.  Then the dog got a little excited over a female German shepherd on the other side of him.  He had a little pelvic motion going on. 
    Though she felt her PTSD kicking in, she smiled that her dog was able to sniff a Dalmatian’s butt and get a little humpy over a German shepherd in his final moments.  That’s way more his style.  And that is her kind of selfish.

     

     

     
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  7. Refrigerator Tales By Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, April 2, 2015

    What's in your Fridge?

    Heard a photographer say when doing an in-home portrait, she'd ask to shoot inside her subject's refrigerator.

    Most people, after revealing themselves to her camera, balked at exposing their cold storage contents.

    Some claimed they'd not had time to clean. Others denied her, claiming an embarrassing invasion of privacy.

    This was part of a discussion that covered how having refrigeration has changed our habits, e.g., we shop less frequently, eat fewer fresh foods, eating together as a family less and snacking, an unheard of pre-refrigeration practice, entered our diets with a vengeance.

    Most of the people I know have at least 1 refrigerator, some have 2 and a select few have a free standing freezer; in sizes that range from mini to chill a human body size.

    Until this discussion, I never thought of all the places in the world where people don't have refrigerators OR have them and have so little consistent electricity that the appliances actually cause spoilage and are rendered useless signs of affluence.

    I'll show you mine...
     

    Show me what's in your fridge. Don't change or rearrange a thing! Take shot & send it to me here, on FaceBook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram with hashtag #RefrigeratorTales. Refrigerator Tales can only exist if you submit.*


    And while you are doing what I ask, get your tickets now for 8 PM Thursday April 23rd!



    See you soon enjoying the laughter!

    *All photos submitted to #RefrigeratorTales are subject to use in perpetuity by Rhonda Hansome, with no promise of compensation to those submitting. America, what a country!

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