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  1. Gun & Sugar Tricknology by Rhonda Hansome

    Saturday, September 24, 2016



    Tricknology alert!

    Do you visit or live in 1 of the 45 states where 
    (with or without a permit & or license) 
    of a gun  is legal and you carry a gun?



    If you are Black and visit or live in an open carry state, 
    Please Don't Carry The Gun! 
    There is NO WAY a black person with a gun (some might add candy bar, football, bible or Skittles) in an open carry state, can have an encounter with police, over zealous neighborhood watch P.D. wanna be, or fellow gun carrier & have it end well. Okay, maybe 1% of the time all might walk away unharmed... in my dreams.

    Speaking of tricknology, I'm currently on a "fad" diet. I know it's a fad because it was promoted with rows & rows of butter, 

    (Yes I Said Rows) 
    of butter, cheese & meats on a "YOU CAN EAT THIS" list shown on the Dr. Oz Show.

    For 2 weeks I've consciously eaten No Sugar. 
    I say consciously because SUGAR IS EVERYWHERE, even in bacon.

    So give me a shout if you know a good sugar-less bacon, because on Keto I can eat handfuls of that! 

    In the past 2 weeks 
    I've eaten more meat than I've had this entire year. 
     I've had No Starches like pasta, rice, potatoes or legumes
    sometimes known by their less exotic name - beans. 

    On this (Ketogenic) plan, no "diet" or "low-fat" food is allowed & carbs are kept low to none.

    For the past 2 weeks I've consumed Eggs, Cheese, Butter, Olive Oil & Coconut Oil - purported good also for hair & skin BTW; Meat & Fish cooked in/with Butter, Olive or Coconut Oil, String Beans, Leafy Greens & Asparagus dressed with Olive Oil; even Coffee WITH Coconut Oil, Butter & Heavy Cream - AKA Bulletproof Coffee.

    I'm a gullible naive victim of tricknology... for at least another 2 weeks because I'm giving this crazy diet a month.
    Yes that's me on the train eating 
    cream cheese stuffed celery.

    Anyway...
    Leave the gun at home when you come to see me tomorrow - Sunday at Don't Tell Mama








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  2. One night I had a wonderful dream.  My son and I were being affectionate, hugging, snuggling cheek to cheek, and he said in my ear, “I love you, Mom.”  I felt so happy.  It felt so real. 

    The next night I was going to a reading from the NYC Writing Project which is connected to the program where I work.  They had held a program for teachers who identify as writers.  At the end, they were having a reading at KGB Bar on East 4th Street.  I wasn’t part of the program, but I wanted to hear the writers and support the NYC Writing Project.  The reading was free.  That helps.  I invited a few people, but only one planned to join me.  Somehow from the way he expressed himself, I got the feeling he wasn’t that into going and would not show.

    I took the 4 train which is an elevated outdoor train in most of the Bronx before it goes underground at 149th Street and the Grand Concourse.  I texted my son and told him about the dream and how good it felt.  After I rode several stops, a woman ran on screaming and then ran out another door.  My heart started racing, sure someone was after her or that a rat was involved.  I’d be screaming like that if a rat was near me.  So I was frantically looking to see what the problem was.  She got back on and sat down.  Suddenly she was up and screaming again.  She went into another car of the train.  Next to where she had been sitting was a pigeon, alive and well.  I laughed with relief that it was just a pigeon.  It seemed harmless compared to what I feared.  I’m sure I wouldn’t have felt so calm if I were feeling followed by it, but compared to a human attacker or a rat, it seemed so innocent.  It chose to ride the train.  It walked around mostly under the seats.  I began to see things from the pigeon’s view and assumed the bird was scared.  The train wasn’t crowded, but things could get hysterical if the pigeon started flying around.  One man tried to grab it.  Maybe it was to set it outside at the next stop, but I didn’t know the man or if he’d hurt the bird.  I was glad he didn’t catch it.  



    At the next stop, the bird seemed confused by which side the doors opened on.  When people came in, the bird cautiously stayed away, so it remained on the train.  I was having anxiety for the pigeon.  I don’t love pigeons or hate pigeons.  I just didn’t want any sadness that could be prevented.  It was for my sake as well as the pigeon’s that I needed to do something.  It walked under the seat of the man who had tried to grab it earlier.  The man didn’t realize.  A woman near me laughed.  I told her not to let him know the bird was there.  The bird went to the door as if it knew that the door would open.  But I knew on Burnside Avenue the other side would open.  The bird seemed to be a walker, and I was afraid that the time it would take would get it caught in the closing doors.

    I got up and when the doors opened, I stood in the doorway holding it open and motioning the bird with my paper to come this way.  The bird decided to trust me, I guess, walked near me and out onto the platform which was still outdoors.  I felt good about that.

    One of the things that felt good was I felt I had power to do something.  I struggle with depression, so feeling that way is significant to me.  During my marriage, asserting my personhood would inevitably lead to an argument or some passive-aggressive silence.  After a long time, living like that takes its toll.  So this experience was not only good for the pigeon; it benefited me too.

    The reading was fantastic.  My friend didn’t show, but I was kind of ready for that.  The pieces shared were great.  One woman read about her mother’s thighs.  The closeness and love made me recall baths with my mother, me trying to count the freckles on her back.  The closeness with my own precious son.  I deeply miss the genuine relationship we had.  During the reading, I grabbed a napkin and my pen.  In the very dimly lit place, I drew.





    A few days later, at the subway station, I stood in front of the booth to add money to my MetroCard.  When given a choice, I still prefer a person over a machine.  At my feet was a crushed bill.  I picked it up.  There was no one on line in front of me, so whoever dropped it was gone.  It was a $20 bill. 


    See how connected this all feels to the last blog I shared?  More next week.



    FYI:  I'll be performing comedy Wednesday, Sept. 21, 8pm at the Village Lantern (NYC), 167 Bleeker Street, in Sarah Garner's show!  No cover charge. 1 drink min. Would be glad to see you there laughing if you can make it.


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  3. Hair Today Gone Tomorrow By Rhonda Hansome

    Saturday, September 10, 2016


     I want equality with men,
    but not male pattern baldness!




    To See Rhonda Hansome  
    Tell A Venue Near You Or The Organization You Belong To
     To Book Her!





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  4. I no longer have my second job which allowed me to survive.  My main job doesn’t pay enough if it’s the only salary in the house though I get medical benefits from there.  So my evenings are freed up, and I am available for paid comedy and acting gigs, proofreading on a freelance basis (have lots of experience), and posing for those who draw and/or paint.  Photographers, on a case-by-case basis.  Please keep me in mind.

    So though I’ve had more free time, I have significantly less money.  Either way, it’s not easy. 

    There were several times* a few weeks back that I felt the universe was letting me know to have faith.  One morning I went to Arthur Avenue (the Bronx’s “Little Italy”) to deposit two small checks I received in the mail that were supposed to be directly deposited but weren’t.  I went before work because I couldn’t risk a check I sent out to bounce.  I needed to hand it to a teller during banking hours so it would get credited right away.  I assumed the bank opened at 8am but was wrong.  I had to wait until 9am. 

    I sat in a small park and had my coffee and donut.  I often eat small amounts many times a day.  At half a donut I was full.  I figured I’d take it home. 

    It was obvious that a suffering economy has found its way to that area which once seemed to be able to stay above a lot of the city’s problems.  There were homeless people in the park.  One man was looking in the garbage for food.  I don’t know how our society has become numb to this.  I haven’t.  When I was growing up, rents were do-able even for poor working people.  We may have crammed a lot of people into the apartment, but it beat sleeping outside.  The occasional person who was homeless was referred to as a bum.  They often were napping on a park bench.  It was assumed alcoholism was the cause.  The churches and the Salvation Army were able to care for such folks.  It wasn’t a class of homeless people.  The struggling public wasn’t asked for money all day.  I remember as a kid reading about homeless people in Ireland.  By the time I was halfway through college, homelessness was everywhere in NYC.  The train cars smelled of unbathed bodies.  The homeless were blamed for their situation.  Those who cause this do not ride the trains and see the consequences of their deeds.

    On my way out of the park, I went over to the man searching the garbage and offered him my little paper bag.  “There’s a half a donut in here if you want it.”  He looked surprised when I spoke to him which I think meant more to him than the half donut.  He thanked me and accepted it. 

    I walked back over to the bank.  Still had to wait five minutes.  I looked in store windows.  Bought a five-dollar scratch-off instant lottery ticket.  Did my banking, then scratched the ticket.  It won me $20.  When very broke, that is very helpful.  If I weren’t so broke, I’d have given part of my profit to the man in the park.  It’s typically the poor who give to the homeless.  It’s not for a tax break; it's for a tiny break from the suffering.








    * Since I am rarely brief, I will share the other special times in another blog entry.



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  5. It's Trump's Business by Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, August 25, 2016

     
    I'm good at comedy!
    At business, not so good!

    Since my return to comedy, minus management, I've been in pursuit of stage time. 5 years later I can say, with absolute confidence, that my texts, calls, emails and obsessive social media networking resulted in nationwide indifference from bookers. 

    I’m an actress/comedian. This business demands I bribe, harass and hoodwink friends into being audience where I “showcase” myself for little or no pay. What could be better? 
    PAYING TO MEET "CASTING AGENTS" WHO WILL NEVER HIRE ME 

    So many ways to be humiliated, so little time.

    I'm good at comedy!

    Donald Trump 
    is good at business.

    4 bankruptcies? 
    No problem! 

    Politi Facts (Sep. 21,15) quotes The Donald, "I used the law four times and made a tremendous thing. I'm in business. I did a very good job.*

    Personally, I don't know how to use bankruptcy laws or anything else to make "a tremendous thing" like GOP nominee Donald Trump.

    This The Daily Caller (Aug 23, 16) quote is a great example of Trump's business acumen.

    The Trump campaign’s rent at Trump Tower in New York City had been the same throughout the Republican primary. Since starting his campaign last summer, and ending in March, Trump paid 
    $35,458 
    a month for his campaign headquarters. Trump raised his rent in May to $72,800, and in June, the rent increased to $110,684. The month of the Republican National Convention when Trump officially became the nominee, he charged himself 
    $169,758 
    in rent for the same space, according to a report by S.V. Date of the Huffington Post published Tuesday.

    I'm no accountant, but I know that's a MONTHLY net gain of a whole bunch of money. 

    Donald knows his business. He's using all of his products in his campaign supported by the RNC. Yes his books, water, Trump Cafe, Trump Grill, Trump air craft. 

    (3/1/16) The Daily Beast reported: 

    The name that seems to come up most often on the list of businesses the Trump campaign pays is -Trump. Between June16, when he announced his candidacy through the end of 2015, his campaign spent $2.2 million patronizing Trump businesses. The majority-$2 million was spent on Tag Air Inc., where Trump is CEO.


    Trump leaves independent contractors and vendors short changed or unpaid. He secures his management and licensing fees off the top of projects and never looks back. 

    He 's accomplished at promising big charitable donations. 
    IF his pledge is actually met, it's frequently with other people's money; and Trump gets the tax benefit.

    Speaking of taxes, still not released, (May 13, 16) NY Times reported that when Trump was asked specifics on his tax rate he replied, "none of your business."

    "Ain't nobody's business if I do."
    That may be true, but he has no business in the 
    White House

    I'm on twitter, tumblr, facebook & a comedy stage near you -
    if you call the venue and tell them to book me, Now!









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  6. Coughin', Sneezin', and All that Jazz

    Tuesday, August 23, 2016













    I have a miserable cold and fever besides other issues.  That doesn't mean there aren't good things going on too.  But right now, my energy is low.  I have stories to share, as usual, but for now a blast from the past.






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  7. Respect For Helen Mirren by Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, August 18, 2016

    On a lunch break his week. doing stand-in* work on the TV show Madam Secretary, I had a provocative exchange with a background** co-worker we'll call Patricia Patrician.
    She was a petite mature white woman more attractive in person than the selfies she shared*** conveyed.

    I envied the flattering cut of Patricia's thick head of gray hair. Yes, I envy women (of a certain age) who confidently sport thick heads of white, platinum, or graying hair with aplomb. I also envy women who use words like aplomb with aplomb, but I digress.

                This Photo Is Not Patricia

                               The Only Photo After I Searched For Images Of Black Women With Gray Hair

    Patricia was researching roles for a screen scene study class (say that 3 times fast!) and was disappointed those she'd read included semi-nudity, which she felt was demeaning to women.

    We got on the topic of standing-in, which I've done many times including for Whoopi Goldberg on an episode of Absolutely Fabulous shot in NY. I mentioned Patricia could easily stand in for an actress I've admired for decades...

    Helen Mirren

    I not only envy this hair-do I need this photo filter for my life!

    We bonded over our affection for Helen Mirren until I mentioned how frequently she appeared semi- nude in many of her (critically acclaimed!) films. Patricia's face paled as she sighed.

    PP: Now, I've loss all respect for her.
    Me: Why have you lost respect for Helen Mirren?
    PP: I don't think a woman should demean herself by doing that on film.
    Me: Doing what?
    PP: Taking her clothes off on-camera.
    Me: Do you have less respect for Jane Fonda, Sophia Loren, and Susan Sarandon?
    PP: I don't respect any woman who would take her clothes off on-camera. What do you think?
    Me: I think you have every right to your opinion.

    And in my head I continued... "If I were offered the quantity and quality of diverse and challenging roles offered to Helen Mirren, I'd drop clothes in a NY minute. And I'm not going to mention my youthful lead in an indie feature in which I played a stripper!

















    That being said, I recently turned down the opportunity to audition for a nude part just because I considered my naked body of the moment not "camera ready". Now THAT is demeaning! I may have just lost all respect for myself.

    *Stand-in is a (2nd team) actor who stands in position for the principal or featured actor while the director sets blocking and technicians arrange lighting and assorted equipment needed for a particular scene; after which the (1st team) star, feature or day player actor steps into place.

    **Background artists or ambiance is the name I prefer to what some disparagingly call "extras". These are the (non-speaking) actors who walk around or sit near 1st team actors to support the look or ambiance of a scene.

    ***Sharing pictures of our different "looks" is a traditional pastime on set. We compare the "characters" we offer casting directors who hold our incomes in their decisions. For example ...














    Join me in cabaret mode with Ann McCormack, Woody Reagan & Friends 
    Like, Follow & Re-tweet Me on Twitter, Tumblr & IG
    Cause That's The Thing To Do These Days



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