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  1. One evening, after several glasses of wine and feeling it, I went to pee.  pulled my pants down like they were sweatpants.  When I was pulling them back up, I realized I had on jeans, not sweatpants.  I had to laugh at myself.  But what is really amazing was that my pants were able to go down and up without unzipping or unbuttoning them.  It means I’ve kept off the seven pounds it took so long to lose.  I’ve got more to try to lose, but just not gaining those pounds back is an accomplishment.



    The other night, I went to my 24-hour Arab bodega.  The man behind the 
    counter is my favorite of all the people who work there.  He asked, “Where’s your mask?”  I said I didn’t have one, and I held my scarf across my face.  He reached down under the counter and offered me a mask.  It was a gift, not a sale.  I put it on but not as well as it needs to be on, so he reached over with his gloved hands and arranged it for me.  He’s young and married; this is not flirting.  He’s a warm, loving, sensitive, decent person, and it felt so good.  In terms of kindness, I was melting. 



    My friend Judy texted me that the Department of Education has 
    extended their free meals to adults (whether they have children in school or not).  Monday through Friday 11:30 to 1:30, we can get three free meals to go.  I checked the Dept. of Ed. website, and there are several schools near me doing it.  Guess where I’ll be on Monday.  My friend Jaye emailed me about Chefs for America.  They are also giving free meals.  I have to check their schedule again.  There’s one of their locations in my area.  I have to check that out.



    I miss everyone.  My best friend and I speak on the phone, but I’m not 
    much of a phone person.  The last time we saw each other in person was for less than five minutes in front of my building.  Before that, we met on Mosholu Parkway and sat at opposite ends of a bench to talk. 



    When I went to meet him and entered the park area, several men on two 
    benches greeted me by offering me to share their blunt.  I had no interest in sharing germs, so they may have assumed I disapproved of smoking weed.  One said, “It’s natural.”  I loved the smell and turned to him and said, “It’s beautiful.”  He thanked me for saying that.  LOL  I overheard one saying that some woman had told them they were ruining the quality of life.  They were not near any children or playground.  They were not harassing people or littering.  They were four grown men sharing a blunt.  I don’t think smoking in a park is ruining the quality of life.  I think letting people die from COVID-19 and getting angry at governors for asking for help is ruining the quality of life and the chance of living.



    Please consider virtually attending this event of a variety of talent where I am included:


    The producers of A Sketch of New York are trying to help us performers out during this time.  It’s Wednesday, April 8th, 6-7pm livestream.  Thank you.





    Much love to CGG-M








  2. Tell Me How You're Doin'

    Monday, March 30, 2020














    Hi people.  I’m so far, so good.  I hope you are too.  Hope you'll let me know.


    In the last couple of weeks, three people in my life decided to send me 
    gifts.  I think my jaw is still hanging.  A friend who lives in the next building from me gave me an apple, a package of raspberries, herbal tea, and twenty dollars.  Most importantly, she shared precious memories of when she used to babysit my son sometimes.  I had a smile the whole time she spoke.


    A poetry pal sent me fifty dollars and asked not to be identified because 
    he didn’t want to ruin his “bad” reputation.  Lol


    My longtime friend Judy sent me a card with a hundred dollars scotch-
    taped inside the card.  Oh my God.


    All of that really helped.  I was able to pay people to whom I owed money.  
    I was also able to buy necessities.


    I need to get used to being treated well.  At this time, it makes me cry – 
    not with sadness, rather just because I’m so moved.


    A former student messaged me on Facebook.  She asked how I’m doing.  
    That was so caring.  Well so far I’m okay.  I am grateful.  She and her immediate family are okay too, but she has relatives stricken with the virus.  This is so sad.  I have to remember that most people survive.


    Aside from all that, when I didn’t know when I’d get my daily inhaler 
    because it was on back-order, two people offered to give me their refills.  I am very moved by the kindness.  Neither of them used the inhaler I do, 
    but their offers felt amazing.  People can be so great while others can suck so badly.


    I do usually go out once a day.  I use the opportunity to take out garbage, 
    go to the store, and try to see my feline friend Mustache who lives in a store but is sometimes outside looking for trouble.  She can be rough stuff, but she and I have a loving relationship.  I think the need is mutual.  In the store, she isn’t treated like a furry child.  So I must feel so different to her.  As a child, I was given many challenges as well, so her pure love feels wonderful.  She is mostly black and some white.  Her snout is white with what looks like a black mustache above her top lip.  Hence, her name.  She’s my girl.


    I actually came up with a few bits of comedy during this homebound time.  
    And the bits were inspired by the horror we are living in.  But it’s not about the illness or the victims of it.  It stems from things I hear on TV, the lesser known symptoms, the lifestyle changes, etc.


    As a comic, I believe I’m supposed to stay current.  Most of my stuff is 
    kind of timeless.  But I try to write funny shit about current events.  I admire those who do it well.  I find it challenging.  But I generally enjoy challenges.


    Feel welcome to let me know you are okay or not okay.  I'd like to know.  



    Thanks for reading.





    love to CGG-M  💕















  3. Getting Thru...

    Tuesday, March 24, 2020












    One of the good things that happened on the night of my cancelled comedy show was being featured in Bold Magazine (an on-line publication).  The timing felt special.



    Yeah, they accidentally added an extra letter to my last name, but it has 
    since been fixed in the magazine.


    With all this having to stay home now, I should be using the opportunity to do a LOT of work in my apartment.  I’ve done some.  I need to do so much more.  When I do go through a pile, it feels good.  But in some ways, I’m in a rut, so just getting started is the hardest part.


    I can’t even hug my best friend.  However, it would be much worse if we 
    had the virus.  So I’m trying to remain grateful.  I’m trying to think positively.  It’s fuckin’ hard.  I pray my son is taking this seriously and doing all the precautionary stuff.


    Luckily, I have an internet connection from home, and though I’m behind 
    on my bill, I haven’t been shut down.  I’m part of an on-line poetry group, Brevitas, that normally shares short poems at the beginning and middle of the month.  They made an exception and added another cycle to send a poem having to do with the coronavirus crisis.  I must’ve felt the need because I was the first person to send something.  You can see it here.



    It’s gotten to the point where I look forward to taking out the garbage.  
    That’s essential, so I’m allowed.  We (the tenants in my building) have to go outside to get rid of it, so I get to go out! 








    love to CGG-M
















  4. I was standing on line at the liquor store in my neighborhood a few days 
    back, and in front of me was a couple.  The man was purchasing a lot of wine.  Their bill was over $60.  The man told the worker, “Ya’know, we’re stocking up for the coronary.”  We all burst out laughing.  I’m sure he didn’t mean that, but that’s how it came out.


    He turned around to see who was laughing.  We all were.  He recognized 
    the man behind me.  They slapped five and did fancy handshakes, and hugged.  My eyeballs bulged at all the hand contact they had.  The girlfriend looked at me, and I said, “So much hand touching.”  She agreed and told him, “You were just talking about that.”  He didn’t seem to connect it.  Then I contributed, “That was a lot of hand touching.”  He replied, “Oh no, we’re cured.  If you were in Orchard Beach water, you’re cured.” 







    Some laughed, but I didn’t.  It concerns me, and, at the same time, I love 
    the humor and coping of my brother and sister Bronxites.


    I was reminded of when the deportations began to be a daily fear.  I was 
    in a store in my neighborhood.  The Mexican man behind the counter was telling an African customer, “You better speak good English, or they will deport you.”  While I was horrified at what was happening to so many families, they were laughing.  I admire the ability to endure, which is the definition of strength.


    As a comic, I should be able to make jokes about the madness, but my 
    process is so much slower it seems.  From horrifying to funny takes more time for me.


    This evening I had to go to the store.  I also had to ask for credit.  This is not easy for me.  I feel embarrassed and just find it hard.  But I did.  The Arab bodega nearby, that I’ve frequented for years, has been so good to me.  They gave me credit with a nonjudgmental and generous attitude, and I now have bread and peanut butter (and, I’m ashamed to say, cigarettes).  What a relief.  I needed something other than the pasta and sauce I have.





    I’m glad I don’t date.  I’ve lived through our people dying in the Vietnam 
    War, race riots, 9/11, the AIDS crisis.  With AIDS, we had to worry about exchanging bodily fluids.  But now, with the Coronavirus, we are supposed to stay 6 feet away from one another.  There’s no penis or condom that long. 


     ***


    I’m likely going to announce the cancellation of the 3/20 comedy show on City Island.  It saddens me a lot, but it just may have to be.  It’s still up in the air. 


    Safety and love to CGG-M.  💞


  5. Comedy, Poetry, Good Fortune

    Tuesday, March 10, 2020













    My comedy show 3/20 at The Artist (formerly the Starving Artist Café) 
    on City Island has a change in the lineup.  This is who you can come see and be very entertained by:


    Kristin Seltman




    Esteban Tino Romero

     



    Joanne Filan




    And me!



    For our guest spot, Eddie Messanelli will make us laugh.


    The cover is only ten bucks.  No minimum required, but you might be 
    tempted to get light fare and/or a delicious dessert.  You can BYOB if you like.  A hat gets passed around for contributions so the comics can get paid.  Laughter is guaranteed.







    Last week in my neighborhood, I had the good fortune of finding a brand 
    new unlimited one-week Metro Card.  I would’ve walked right past it if it weren’t for my feline friend Mustache.  She approached me, and I bent down to pet her and talk to her.  That’s when I saw the Metro Card in its plastic wrapping.  I did feel for whoever lost it, but if anyone was going to find it, I’m glad it was me.  That find made it easy for me to go to a poetry workshop I try to get to weekly though it’s not always possible.  I presented this poem:


    Teachers, Listen Up

    The job posting said:
    Make learning fun.
    Learning IS fun.
    It should say:
    Don’t suck the joy
    Out of learning
    By being an egotistical
    Bitch!

    3/1/2020 Mindy Matijasevic



    Come to the comedy show on 3/20 and let’s laugh our asses off.  If laughter is the best medicine, let’s laugh coronavirus out of NYC.  Feel free to wear or not wear masks and vinyl gloves.  Mainly, bring your sense of humor.  It will be a good time.  Guaranteed.  We need it.  






    Deep love to CGG-M  💕


  6. Some Things Are Good

    Friday, February 28, 2020












    Hi everyone who reads this.  I appreciate your time and interest.  Now that I finally am feeling decently regarding all I went through for several months with lung issues, I have to be concerned about coronavirus with a piece of shit in the White House.  Goodness!


    Now, onto other news:  Last week I was booked for an acting/photoshoot 
    gig.  I was to show up, and after the paperwork, I would have my pic taken for a game that involves cards.  The ad wanted someone in my age range and who is a cool person.  I consider myself a very cool person.  But the guy wanted to speak on the phone first.  So I braced myself for “cool” to mean something else.  In my experience, “open-minded” has sometimes meant “open-legged” so I thought I should check.  I asked if this was something involving nudity.  He assured me it did not.  I showed up, did the paperwork, and when it was my turn, I was sat in an office and photographed.  Then he asked me to pick up the scissors and open them, then point them at the photographer as if I was threatening to stab him.  I thought of someone I am angry at and let my face follow my thoughts.  He took a couple of pics.  Then he said, “This is great.”  I was done.  I got paid $100 for less than five minutes.  I wish I had more like this.  I really need more like this.


    I headed straight for the bank, deposited the check, and went on my way.  At home I sent him an email thanking him and letting him know I’d love to be considered for any future work.  If this was a regular thing, I’d be financially better than I am now.  It is amazing how fast $100 goes.  One bill and one bottle of wine, and it was gone.


    My buddy and I did some work in my apartment.  It took hours.  We got a 
    big item out of my apartment.  I am now dealing with many piles.  I already got a bag ready for the shelter in my neighborhood.


    Been having weird dreams.  My ex-husband was in one.  A former co-
    worker was in another.  They were all disturbing. 


    I went to a comedy show to support a comedy friend.  He treated for 
    everything including dinner afterwards at the Olive Tree in the Village.  Just what I needed.  I had a good time.  All the comics (some very new) were good.  I even decided I’d contact a few for my show on City Island.  I don’t know if they have enough material yet, but they were all good.  By “good” I mean not just funny, but funny without being hateful.  No one put down those of us who are already down (women, gays, homeless, etc.)


    If you didn’t already put this on your calendar, March 20th is my show on 
    City Island.  I guarantee a very good time!





    Big love to CGG-M.  💕


  7. Upcoming Events

    Monday, February 17, 2020





















    Happy day.  Those of you who live in NYC or are easily able to get here, 
    this is for you.  If any of these appeals to you, feel free to 
    make me smile with your presence.


    • ·        Wednesday, February 19th.  Featured poet – Phoenix Reading Series   
    •      at Odessa, 119 Avenue A near E. 7th Street.  6pm.  An open mic follows the feature.  Feel welcome to bring something to share.  $5 contribution.
    • ·        Saturday, March 7thPoetry reading at the Riverside Poetry Series, 
    •      Riverside Library, 127 Amsterdam Avenue.  2:00pm.  Free.  I’ll be one of many poets.
    • ·        Sunday, March 15th.  Stand-up – “The Comedy Dungeon” at Jazz on 
    •      the Park Hostel, 36 West 106th near Central Park West.  8:30pm.  FREE (and you can BYOB and food).

    • ·        Thursday, March 19th.   Stand-up – Women’s Night, 2600 Netherland 
    •      Avenue, Bronx, NY.  5:30.  $5 includes food and drinks.        


    •    Friday, March 20th  Stand-up - “Welcome the Spring with Laughter”   The Artist (formerly the Starving Artist Café), 249 City Island Avenue, Bronx, NY. We are welcomed by Elliot and Monica Glick who run the place.   https://www.facebook.com/events/656573055114577/      This is my show, booked by me, and laughter is absolutely guaranteed.  Line-up: Robert Driemeyer, Kristin Seltman, Esteban Tino Romero, Mindy Matijasevic, and our guest spot goes to Eddie Messanelli.  Cover only $10.  NO minimum though you may be tempted by the menu.  Hat is passed around later for contributions for the performers.     






    I hope to see you there and hear your laughter. 



    Love to CGG-M always.  💕