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  1. Vulgar Comedy By Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, February 26, 2015

    Sometimes I can't tell if I'm pro-active or just foolish.

    Like attempting to comply with the directive of a comedy room booker, who was in diapers when I headlined NYC showcase clubs. My mission: get 3 people who worked at (will remain) Nameless Club to vouch for me, before she'd even look at my video.

    Feeling very get-things-done, I checked Nameless Club's website & saw a familiar moniker. I asked (will remain) Nameless Sister Comic for a simple recommendation. Her response was, Nameless Club was pretty shitty & I really didn't want to work there.

    What kept my reply from flying out of my mouth? It certainly was pounding loud enough in my head.

    "I'm on the comeback trail & need to work out material. Yes I do want to work in that shitty club, I really, really do!" 

    I'll send up a fart-fueled multi-colored flare if I can coerce 2 other "regulars" at Nameless Club to vouch for me, so stay tuned for fire works. 

    Last week I was confused by a friend's question about The Divorced Divas of Comedy Valentine's Day Show, which I headlined and BTW, was most capably produced by Mindy Matijasevic, Tuesday's She So Funny.

    Nameless Friend asked me if there would be vulgar language. She was bringing guests who were concerned. I was stymied, baffeled, perplexed... I didn't know what the fuck to say.

    Was it the coughing/achy Nyquil-resistant, almost-flu-like thing that held me in grippe; or that it touched a sore spot from my past?

    I loved the good money I made back in the day being a comedy queen in the

    I worked every week either headlining or opening for national music acts in every hotel and bungalow colony in the

    I loved the whole old-time show business history of "the mountains". The clientle had seen every big name & industry wanna-be to travel Route 17.
    What I did not like was the ever-present threat of "reports".  Every performance for this retirement- bound audience was monitered for content and ranked by the number of people who, in boredom or offended outrage, walked out.

    Catskills Competitive Conversation was a major sport with two catagories:

    1) Progeny's Triupmhant Accomplishments
    2) Major Entertainers Walked Out On.

    Mega-Successful Specialty Practice of My Son The Lawyer / Doctor certainly caused Competitive Conversation envy, but nothing shattered dining room chatter like dropping a We Walked Out On trump name; like Joan Rivers, Rodney Dangerfield or
    Jerry Lewis

    For years my Schvartze Married to a Jew routine kept my income / laugh numbers high & my showroom walk-out numbers low. Rumors of door-bound stampedes, when Joan Rivers uttered "damn" or "fuck" even once during an undeniably hilarious performance, kept me in check.

    What could possibly derail my reign as a Catskill Comedy Queen? The impending death of the area as a vacation destination? My conflict-riddled personal life? No, it was my desire to be vulgar on stage, i.e., suggestive, ribald, risque, indelicate, saucy, adult. Talk straight from my heart about personal, social or political issues. I had self-censored myself into a creatively-depressed space with no room for improv flights of fancy.

    Here's a secret joy in what we comics do. Saying a line for the first time or going with an in-the-moment improv can be the adrenaline-sparked birth of a new stand-up bit or a lead-lined eclipse of preceding laughs, leaving cricket-punctuated silence.

    I (almost) never say anything on stage just to shock. There are plenty who lead with that, do very well & I'm not hatin'. I frequently enjoy them, but it's not my schtick. Truth is, when I'm on the mic & in the light, I never know what new combination of words will evoke riotous laughter, guffaws or groans. Hell, no comic is 100% certain how even tried & true lines will hit any particular audience.

    My Nyquil mind numb wore off. I realized my only response.

     "Would there be vulgar language?"
     "I've never seen the acts of the 3 others on the bill." 

    Did I equivocate? Got damn right! When it comes to 3 additional tickets being sold or not, I'm guilty! I went with the truth. I HAD NOT seen the acts of the comics on the bill & was responsible only for my own words.

    BTW, the Divorced Divas of Comedy show was a rousing success.  My Nameless Friend, her guests & what seemed the entire audience, were full of after show superlatives. As for me, I had a great time being a common fool, straight from my heart .

    Rhonda Hansome is an actor, writer, director & comedian. She loves working out at Broadway Comedy Club. Get your tickets HERE to see her Thursday, April 23rd in the Westchester Comedy Festival!

  2. 2 Lucky People & a Revelation

    Tuesday, February 24, 2015

    Hello my dear readers.  It’s that time once again when I get the opportunity to give you something.  Two lucky people will each win a pair of tickets to see “Hunter Gatherers” at the Duo Theatre on East 4th Street.  The limited engagement runs from March 3rd through March 28th.  All you have to do to be in the running is leave a comment below telling me you want in.  Many of you have told me you have trouble leaving comments here.  If you have gmail, you have a Google account.  So when your ID is asked for, you can click on Google.  But if you still aren’t finding it do-able, please leave your comment here:


    I will put all the names in a container, close my eyes, and pick two.  The winners will be announced in next week’s blog.  I will need to be able to contact the winners with a link to the schedule and to get the tickets.

    Then next week, I will have another goodie for you.  That one may require more effort in order to be in the running.  Isn’t this fun?!

    And speaking of fun, mark your calendar.  Next Divorced Divas of Comedy show is March 28th at 8pm. 

    Oh, I almost forgot.  A Catholic priest seconded something I concluded years ago.  God is a woman.  More accurately, a female presence.


  3. I'm A Snob By Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, February 19, 2015

    I started

    with a 2 room leak 

    in my new place. 

    Yes Dear Readers, when I divorced in 2004, I left the center of the universe - A.K.A.  
    and returned to the turf of my birth. While trying to make sense of being alone for the 1st time in my life, I walked familiar streets. I'd jumped Double Dutch on Gates Ave. and played tag in Fulton Park.

    Fast forward decades as a new chapter of adult life is written on Brooklyn streets I'd skipped as child. 

    What's this shape shifting in front of my eyes? Skinny jeans and New Yorker reviewed restaurants on Halsey St.? When did BK aquire the palpable cache of hipster captial of the world? All the more surreal as gentification
     kicked me out of 
    "I don't see black people!"

    After an 8 month soul shattering search for a new place to live, May 2014, I set down stakes in an outpost that made friends and strangers sigh with gratitude; they were not in my shoes nor my hood.

    Shell shocked, I moved in & found my inner snob. Nothing met with my approval. Every grimy litter strewn, dog doo bedecked block beckoned my disdain. Where do they come from? All these broken blinds clinging precariously to windows, as if in defiance; or is it fear they'll be replaced with a Spongebob beach towel? The language of shop signs and passerbys is not my own. I moved to another borough, another country. 

    When I looked in the mirror and saw...
    or a sign on my forehead...

    I started a regimen of brainwashing / double speak. Cancel, "I hate this place."  Repeat, "I love my apartment."  Delete, "What filthy streets." Insert, "The neighborhood is colorful." .


    I could actually smile when I put my key in the door. Thanks to help of friends & family, I was finally at peace with the comfy order that greeted me once I closed the door.
    What's that? Did I hear I hear, pip... pip... pip? Where is that tic... tic... tic coming from? Open the closet, 

    Empty the closet. Move the furniture away from the walls.
    9 months after putting down stakes I see water damage in 2 rooms & a cluttered chaos like I just move in. Is that mold I smell or just my contempt for these walls?

    Did I mention I've had a coughing - achy thing going on since 

    Well thanks to the codeine cough syrup & antibiotics I begged for & got, I may be feeling up to par next week. To see, check out my next blog.

    Rhonda Hansome is an actor, writer/director & teaching artist. Click here & see where she does stand-up comedy

  4. My Valentine's Day, etc.

    Tuesday, February 17, 2015

    I was absolutely thrilled to have a nice-sized audience at the Clarion Theatre as my Valentine on Saturday night.  No pressure for sex later.  Perfect.  I really enjoyed myself.  I saw someone who I haven’t seen in a very long time, and seeing her was a good thing.  Though the gap in time was very large, the hug was as wonderful as or better than ever. 

    I can’t wait to see the tape of the show.  Each comic shined.  Every audience member seemed quite pleased as they said goodnight to me on their way out. 
    It was the second Divorced Divas of Comedy show, and it was also a success as was the first one.  So far, so good. 
    Speaking of divorce, I checked my ex’s 3rd wife’s Facebook page (yes, I did), and nothing.  During their first year, she posted all these nice little things.  I thought, wait until you really know him.  The honeymoon must be over, as they say.  I will say this.  She was all into being a wife (I don’t know if this was her only marriage), and he appeared to really be lucky to have found yet another nice woman to love him.  But facades fall, and there is just so much one can get away with in life.  What the mind forgets (or refuses to deal with), the body remembers.  He’s having his share of things.
    My concern is our son.
    The adult son of one of the guest Divas attended the show, sat up front, and enjoyed himself.  When he first arrived, he and his mom had a delightful hug.  Sorry, reader, if I just drooled on you. 


  5. Filled My Tank For $20 By Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, February 12, 2015

    Yesterday I filled the tank of my snow, sleet & slush battered 2007 Corolla for $20 bucks! I got wise when the last empty tank overflowed at $25.00. I looked down at the gas pooling at my feet & then up at the price & thought WTF!? You mean I can actually afford this ish? Since then I've been stockpiling

    in my 

    So, when the price gouging numbers return to their eyepopping norm of more than double ...

    ... I'll be good until the gas industry's traditional summer 

     "The sky's the limit price hike!"

    $20.00 Dollars for a full tank of gas is a bargain & so is $20 bucks for a full tank of laughs & 

    with me headling 
    Divorced Divas Of Comedy Valentine Show!
    8 PM Sat. Feb. 14th
    Clarion Theatre
    309 East 26th St. NYC

    This show's not just for "lovers". 
    We've got guffaws for everyone: Are you a
    Hater, Player, Shy, Retiring or Retired; Single, Married, Divorced or Recovering? Click
    for reserved tickets!

      See you Saturday enjoying the laughter...

    Rhonda Hansome is an actress, director, teaching artist, comedy coach and Dodo in the wilderness of social media; seeking likes, follows, reblogs & reposts until the matrix implodes or she hits the lotto. BTW, yes, she did lose all font size control during this blog.

  6. 2 Wonderful Things I Want To Share With You

    Tuesday, February 10, 2015

    The first wonderful thing I want to share with you:

    The other wonderful thing I want to share with you
    & hope you share with me:

  7. Let Yourself Be Lured

    Tuesday, February 3, 2015

    Producing a show helps me appreciate being in someone else’s show where I only have to concern myself with my performance and some promoting.  Being in someone else’s show helps me appreciate creating my own show where I don’t have to risk a beating to my soul while calling it comedy. 
    After the last show I produced, most things I had been sitting on for the sake of the show came flying out of my mouth.  There had been much trying of my patience, new things to learn, disappointments, wonderfulness, and the unexpected fractured ribs, besides all the work involved.  The show was pretty terrific.  Everybody left smiling, many complimenting, and some asking for the next one.  That was fantastic.  I had to tell the “Diva” I had vented to that I had been venting and nothing I said should be considered a decision.  Days went by, and I tried to see all the challenges as learning opportunities. 

    Now it is 11 days before the next show.  I am thrilled with the line-up: Ellen Orchid, Mindy Matijasevic, Ken Watter, and Rhonda Hansome.  But the to-do list is long (though not as bad as last time since some things are settled now), and the work of getting enough audience remains the hardest part.  Several people who wanted to know about a next show won’t be in NYC on Valentine’s weekend.  Oy.  I’m a worrier.  That’s what I know how to do well.
    So if you care to be my Valentine --  
     -- oops –- I mean

     -- no, that’s a lie --

       -- oops --
                                             –- okay now I’m just trying to lure you --
  -- yeah, that’s what I mean.