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  1. The universe has presented me with a milder case of my childhood once again. As Oprah has said, until I learn what I need to learn, those opportunities will appear again and again.  My best friend refers to it like a vaccine – “…a milder form of the disease that hopefully makes you stronger.”



    There are some differences.  Important ones.  The people involved are not my family (though they like to throw that word around).  I have a voice and complete articulate thoughts.  Though not the majority, there are ears and hearts, of those who see things clearly, open to me.  I do attribute God/the universe/whatever higher power that exists with blessing me with certain people/angels just when things seem darkest and least hopeful. 





    Another difference is having experienced the freedom when I see things for what they truly are, not what I’d like to think they are or need them to be.  It frees up my energy to proceed as necessary.  And, of course, my anti-depressants help too.





    I’d like to think that as long as I’m still growing, I still have a place on the Earth.





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  2. Birthdays, Books, and Flaccidity

    Tuesday, June 6, 2017











    I just found out on May 25th, which is my late mother's birthday, that it is also Eve Ensler's birthday.  Both are pioneers in their own right.  



    When I was in a production of Ensler's Vagina Monologues, I remember saying to a co-actress, "I hope my mother can see this."  She answered, "Your mother probably has the best seat in the house."

    My mother certainly deserved the best seat in the house.



    At my job, staff is being encouraged to read 


    which I am enjoying so much.  

    My reading/writing class and I are reading  
     
         
    which we are enjoying together.  I love ending the school cycle on a high note.




    My buddy and I concluded that I should consider this a special skill to add to my resume:  I can talk most men out of their hard-on within sixty seconds.   It is a useful skill.



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  3. Dragonfly Woman

    Saturday, May 27, 2017







    I was sitting in the park, and eventually the squirrels got my attention.  The constant chasing made me wonder if the one getting chased ever gets any peace.  

    No matter what is going on outside, I can go home.  And since being gratefully single, no one is in my apartment to bother, belittle, or betray me.  For a long time, I didn't know if I'd ever have the luxury of living in relative peace.  

    I couldn't stop thinking about the squirrels and the birds.  Life for the female seems like being prey 24/7.  They can't really hide from each other.  And birds can fly, but for the ones being chased that doesn't mean they can escape since the chasers can fly too.  I thought that it must be so exhausting.  In some way, I felt connected in sisterhood with the female squirrels and birds.

    Days later a friend of mine sent me this:


    Brilliant!
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  4. Food Stamp Stomp By Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, May 4, 2017


    A "Grade A Fool" got her panties in a twist on Facebook over a stranger's use of food stamps. An EBT Card Owner bought food and requested $50.00 cash back. It then appeared the EBT card owner used that entire $50.00 to purchase lotto tickets. This pissed off, to no end, "Grade A Fool" and a number of her followers.

    Anyone in the unenviable position to qualify for Food Stamps and actually receive an EBT card deserves to use HER money as she sees fit. 

    Corporate welfare queens continue to profit from paying as little as their numerous tax loopholes will allow.  On campaign, POTUS 45 actually touted his use of tax evasion loopholds as "smart". Unlike the EBT Card Owner he has refused to reveal recent tax returns and is determined to use his elevated position to increase benefits to the richest 1%.

    So I say to you hater nosey bitches, try buying a clue!

    Blatant Self-Promotion Alert! 
    Thank you Kevin Gootee, judges: Jeffrey Gurian Sean Lynch Amy Shanker 
    Jim Mendrinos and all the crew associated with the latest episode of 


    Click the link and enjoy!
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  5. "Right" Doesn't Make "Might"

    Tuesday, April 25, 2017







    Comics, I've been told and have experienced with some, make the worst comedy show audiences.  I was puzzled by that when I was new and still am.  When I hear comedy I like, I laugh and applaud.  






    Teachers, I've been told, tend to make the worst students.  At first I was shocked.  I love learning things (that I want to know).  However, I have noticed how teachers behave in settings where they are supposed to be learning or at least paying attention.  They can be a huge pain in the ass.  Some do exactly what makes them angry when students do it -- cell phones, side chit-chat, not doing their assignment, thinking the rules do not apply to them, etc.  You'd think they'd be understanding when students behave in those ways, but, no, it is what those teachers have no tolerance for.  



    It's never boring working with humans.  

    I've worked at many, many places as an instructor for adults needing their basic education.  Many teachers are amazingly wonderful people.  Then there are those whose voices make you cringe as they echo the voices of angry teachers from our youth yelling at students in anticipation of bad behavior.  Reminds you of why, in spite of learning being a natural in-born desire, you hated school.



    My wish for the yelling ones is to inhale these wise words:  


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  6. I Got a Good Grade on My "Report Card"

    Tuesday, April 18, 2017





    As an instructor of adult students who were already gypped in life, I know I am expected to answer to supervisors and administrators, but I consider my students the ones I aim to connect with and do right by.  Teaching is about students.  However, we are often evaluated by those who are the furthest from our students.  Administrators, funders, etc.  So on the last day of the school cycle, I often ask my students to write me a letter, letting me know what their favorite part of class was and the least favorite, so I can make it even better.  If anyone is qualified to give me feedback, I figure it is those who receive my services.  I assure them they won't hurt my feelings, and I truly want to know.

    These are excerpts:

    "...The class atmosphere is so welcoming and heart warming that it really makes you excited in the morning to get to school. ...You make learning for us to be fun in a way that we all can understand."  "...keep on doing what you are doing, so you can motivate more people like me."  "...I take classes here five days a week, but this is the only class I felt so comfortable in. My classmates were great. We are all open and comfortable with each other. ...No words can explain how I feel. ...I wish I didn't have to leave. ...I hope your new class knows how lucky they are."  "I liked how you helped us with our confidence from the first day when you had us share about ourselves to today by having us perform. The one thing I didn't like was that I didn't come on time, but I thank you for dealing with me. Thank you for helping me get closer to my goal."  "The best part of this class was my teacher. ...I underestimate myself.  My teacher gave me the confidence I needed to feel comfortable with learning."  "...The way you take the time with every one of us, you take the time to understand whatever it might be anyone is going through.  I also like how once you come into class, it's work mode, like giving us a worksheet, and we get to work as a group.  I wouldn't change anything about how you teach, so please keep caring about your students the way you do.  I have really enjoyed you and your class.  You will be missed.  Hope to see you around because I still need you in my life to get my diploma."  "...You are definitely a teacher I will remember. ...an awesome and welcoming teacher."  "...a wonderful teacher who makes us laugh and learn."

    Long before I started stand-up, a math student, Raul, insisted I should be a comedian.  I was still too chicken.  But some years after, I did it.  However, my financial life is that of an underpaid teacher, a gratefully divorced woman but with zero alimony, so if anyone out there has paid work for me to help supplement my meager salary, I am also an experienced proofreader, actress, comic, and creative writer.  Dogs and cats tend to like me (smart creatures that they are), so if you need an animal sitter, I'm open to hearing about it.  







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  7. Brief Announcement

    Tuesday, April 4, 2017















    I will be doing stand-up comedy 



    Thursday, April 27th 

    7pm 

    in the New Faces event (a variety show) 

    Studio Theatre 

    Lehman College
    250 Bedford Park Blvd 
    The Bronx

    ​near #4 and D trains​


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  8. A Justice Fantasy

    Tuesday, March 28, 2017











    If this makes me a "bitch," I'll wear the badge.



             One of my recurring fantasies

                                                           
                                                                                      
















    has been

                   
       

                                                                                and

                                                                                           
                                                                                 


    sharing a   
      ​                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                      

                                                   and jerking off at each other 'til                  

                                                                   
                                                                                                             
                                                                   do they part.






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  9. When I Have Money...

    Tuesday, March 21, 2017









    When I have enough money, I tend to have toilet paper, tissues, and towel paper.  When I don't have enough money, I typically have one of those things serving many roles.  Also when I have enough money, I put my refund bottles in a shopping bag and put it outside for those who rely on it for income.  If I see someone collecting cans and bottles, I hand them the bag directly.  And when I'm not with enough money, I refund the bottles myself and use each nickel.



    I had a real fun time at Red White & Brew in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn last Wednesday.  I will admit that I was the oldest person in the room.  Still, I felt warmly welcomed by host Vincenzo Bracale, the bartender, and the audience.  It's a long trip from where I live, but I napped on the trains, so it was okay.  I had a decent set, it seemed, from the feedback.  The bartender knew how to make my Long Island Iced Tea, so after two, I had to rely on the audience feedback.  They called my set "great."



    That film I thought I was in next weekend, I don't know what has happened with that.  However, I have an audition on Saturday for an acting role in something.

    I received an email today saying I won $100 on www.gsn.com which I will receive in 3 to 4 weeks.  I know I will need it whenever it arrives.



    Excuse me. Signing off now to get some toilet paper, so I can blow my nose.

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  10. Tense Town by Rhonda Hansome

    Sunday, March 19, 2017


    New York will woo you, whip you and leave you naked in the gutter. She crushes with potential and fulfills with irony. When you embrace New York don't give her your soul and sanity.

    In a veritable blizzard of disturbing news stories, these two headlines shook me to my core.



    The blatant violence made me all too aware that at any moment in this city that never sleeps, you can be vulnerable and assaulted. My heart broke for these victims of unsolicited violence.

    The perpetrators of these hateful acts are enthralled in a degree of unhappiness and desperation I pray to never know.

    I do comedy. 
    I hope to bring laughter and a lighter heart to all within the sound of my voice.


    8 PM Tue. March 21st 
    Get $10 Tickets Here: Poetry & Punchlines 
    $15 At The Door




    7 PM Thu. March 23rd
    I'm On The Panel At
    Brooklyn Museum
    Fierce Funny and Feminist






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  11. Post-Blizzard Laughs

    Tuesday, March 14, 2017






    I've been financially limping along, but thanks to angels in my life, I have been able to eat.  

    The good news is there will be a small raise in my salary, I'm performing comedy in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn this Wednesday evening, and I might have a paid acting gig in two weeks.  Not a big amount at all, but something.  I feel a bit hopeful again.  The role is that of a widow named Carmen.  I can do melancholy.

    For those of you who are in Brooklyn or willing to travel to Brooklyn, I'll be performing my stand-up comedy on Wednesday, March 15th, 9pm at Red, White & Brew, 8910 5th Avenue in Bay Ridge.  It's free.   I don't know what other funny people are on the line-up.  I know it's no cover and no minimum.  Come have some post-blizzard laughs on me.





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  12. Feeling some kinda way
    In a Blues for Mr. Charlie
    Or Dutchman kinda way
    When you're trying
    To not kill somebody -
    Anybodies
    Because of something said
    So you paint the sky, sculpt,
    Sing or blow a sax until it cries
    Hurt into memory

    I was in the company of aquaintances and got eyeball deep in my feelings.
    "Principal?"
    A one word question seared my soul. I had not said I had lines. I didn't even call it acting. I said I had spent a day walking around a cemetary and had used my car on a TV shoot.

    Being an extra in a movie or TV show is a payday for me. I'd prefer to have lines and featured screen time, but I'm an extra by circumstance not choice. I'm background and grateful for a check.

    "Cancer is deeply sensitive and easily hurt." 

    Astrology and phases of the moon aside, I cursed and spewed witty cutting retorts back at him,
    in my mind, for days. Stung even more because it seemed no one else at the table even noticed.

    "Principle?" The question came from a person for whom no audition is necessary. His roles, he stated several times, are always a direct call from casting.

    I'll admit, earlier that day, I felt some kind of way when TMZ reported the insolent 13 year old 
    "Cash Me Outside" girl
     is juggling offers from 7 (seven!!!) different production companies. 

    Planets, stars or nah, being asked if I was a principle, on what was a background payday, just put me all up in my feelings.

    "I'm an extra on the TV
    If you blink slow you won't see me
    I add atmosphere, my voice you won't hear
    I don't make a sound
    I'm background.
    I knew making movies wasn't easy
    But being an extra makes my stomach queasy.
    Give me the chance to show some panache
    Oh you want me to sit and be a silent bit?
    I've studied Chekov, Chayefsky, Euripides
    Bullins, Baraka, Aristophanes.
    Oh how I've cried for just a few lines
    Oh how I pray for just one word to say, but
    I'm an extra on the TV
    If you blink slow you won't see me
    I add atmosphere, my voice you won't hear
    I don't make a sound I'm background."

    I wrote I'm An Extra several decades ago. It's nobody's fault that it still rings true.
    I'm alright now. I talked myself off a ledge. I live to be an extra another day.
    In fact tomorrow, on Power, me and my car will be background.

    Thank you for your eyes on this page. Your support is appreciated. BTW, I"m seeking representation.

    You are invited to laugh at my foibles ...

    Sunday March 5th  - 7 PM Brooklyn Commons
    388 Atlantic Ave. Brooklyn NY 11217


    Thursday March 9th - 8 PM Jimmy's 43
    43 East &th St. NYC 10003
    Laughing Liberally With Scott Blakeman


    Friday March 10th - 6 PM Flo Empire Radio
    Big Talk & Brewskis With Maryssa Smith


    Sunday March 19th - Don't Tell Mama
    343 West 46th St. NYC 10036
    Groovin On a Sunday


    Thursday March 23rd - 7 PM Brooklyn Museum
    200 Eastern Parkway Brooklyn NY 11238
    Brooklyn Comedy Marathon: 
    Fierce, Funny & Feminist


    When I do stand-up folks laugh, when I tell true life stories folks listen and when I direct theater it's interesting. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and sometimes Periscope.
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  13. This past Sunday, I attended an Uptown Hall at the Apollo Theatre.  Inside, it looks palatial.  I've watched Amateur Night at the Apollo on tv, but I'd never been there.  I was there for an event that intrigued me.  I invited my adult students to join me before we went on a week's break.  Several made sure to be there, and one brought her daughter.  I was very pleased.  


    It was well worth the time.  Enriching FREE events happen all the time all over New York City.  I like when I step outside of my routines and experience something different. I was honored that several students joined me.  One went through so much to make it happen -- taxicabbed to her mother's who would take care of the baby, etc., etc.  

    .....

    I fantasized about this when I was 18 years old.  Though there were consciousness raising groups all over, women were still too alienated from each other back then.  It took years of freeing our minds and an orange anal orifice to make it happen.  Herstory in the making!


    I fucking plan to be there.

    .....


    With all that's going on, we also need to make time for fun and laughter.


    Wednesday, March 15, 2017 at 9pm 

    Mindy Matijasevic
    performs stand-up comedy 
    in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn 


    No cover & no minimum
    Red, White & Brew
    8910 Fifth Avenue
    Brooklyn, New York
    (R train to 86th Street Station in Bay Ridge)

    Hope to see your smiling faces and hear your laughter!



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  14. I Am Black History by Rhonda Hansome

    Friday, February 24, 2017


    I am Black History and Women's History, thanks to Director Debra Robinson's film 
    I Be Done Been Was Is 

    Last night, I was at the Brooklyn Academy of Music for the Black History Month Film Festival, 
    One Way Or Another: Black Women's Cinema, 1970-1991

    Complete Disclosure: I'm also the poster gal of the festival!
    Photo credit: Charles James Whisnant

    Last night at the (newly scheduled due to high interest & snowstorm) third and final screening of Debra Robinson's comedy documentary, in which I'm featured with the iconic
                                                                      Marcia Warfield 
    I felt like part of history!
    Did I mention I'm also NARRATOR of  I Be Done Been Was Is? 
    (Blushes & tucks toe in dirt)
    I'm grateful to Nellie Killian and Michelle Materre for inviting me to be part of the Q & A following the screening. I appreciate everyone, friends, co-workers and new fans, who attended. 

                  Thanks Gordon Balkcom for this photo of me with my long time pal Eric Vetter at BAM.

    My understanding is that the ONLY 2 EXISTING COPIES of the film are in the Lincoln Center Performing Arts Library. I hope intentions for the preservation of this, Women's History, Black History and Entertainment History, doumentary come to fruition.

    Because I'm trying to get through the day without mentioning Detritus Prumt*, here's more about me.

           7 PM Tonight Friday 2/24 New Women Space 188 Woodpoint Rd. Brooklyn NY 11211 

                                                   LAWL - Ladies And Women Laughing
    Arti Gollapudi, Producer

                      7 PM Sunday 3/5 Brooklyn Commons 388 Atlantic Ave. Brooklyn NY 11217
                                                                  Between Hoyt & Bond

                                       No cover for Randy Credico's Comedy Music & Rhetoric Show


    Oh shucks I was trying to avoid mentioning Detritus Prumt! 
    Thanks to Randy Credico's show that effort is gone with the wind.

    * Your current US president
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  15. Yet Another First

    Tuesday, February 21, 2017











    For the first time ever, I saw part of a comedy show where the one in charge heckled his own performers.  It was very puzzling. 

     

    On one hand, I wondered if he was just behaving as an acting director at a rehearsal.  What he was claiming to want sounded understandable, but it seemed most of the performers had no idea this was what happens at this event.  Those who had been there before, and accepted the scenario, giggled at the whole thing.  New people, like myself, looked in wonderment. 







    Some left.  I decided early on that I was not going to get on stage.  Another comic I know just decided to leave.  I stayed, out of curiosity, and then left halfway through the event. 



    I can't say I wouldn't go again.  It was bizarre enough to spark my curiosity though not every brand of strange is compatible with mine.  Maybe if there is a next time, I'll get up.  I need to know what I'm getting myself into.  And I'd have to be in a particularly adventurous mood.  




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