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  1. "Bronx Tales"

    Tuesday, November 21, 2017



    I was part of Lehman Stages’ “Bronx Tales” at the Lovinger Theatre for
    the second consecutive year.  It is an evening of true Bronx stories and is directed by Dante Albertie.  It is an enriching experience for me, and so good for my spirit.  They want the real deal, and they don’t restrict me.  They help me come out with my stories.  Last year, my story was mainly about the first time I saw a grown man’s penis.  This year, my story was about my buddy and I being stopped by the police.  Dante does his job very well.  He knows how to direct us to develop our stories.  The storytellers are very varied – the people and their stories. 




    This year, a couple of my co-workers brought their evening students.  
    Many of the students (who are adults) know me because I have subbed for their classes when their teacher had to be out.  Many call me ‘Miss Mindy’ though I always tell them they can call me Mindy.  Now they were going to see ‘Miss Mindy’ speak very unteacherly and grab her crotch.  This is an example of worlds colliding. 


    “I didn’t think you had it in you because you’re a teacher,” one man told me after the show.  “You taught our class when our teacher was out.  Remember?”


    “Oh, I remember.  I was very nervous tonight that people who call me 'Miss Mindy’ were going to see me grab my crotch.”


    We both laughed.


    When the video is out, I’ll share it.  Meanwhile, I love that my friend 
    Mindy Levokove took these photos at the end of the show.


    Mindy Matijasevic, Geevanesam Sharun Devakanmalai,  Skaly Cornielle, Jonathan Berenguer, Jose Roldan Jr.





    Future happenings:

    Friday, December 22, 2017 -- "What Were the Sixties Really Like?" at Cornelia Street Cafe, Greenwich Village.  6pm  (I'll be reading a slice of memoir.)  $10 includes a drink.

    Friday, January 12, 2018 -- Twisted Lipstick at Sir D's Lounge, 837 Union Street, Brooklyn; Doors Open 7pm; Showtime 8pm; Investment $10 Online, $15 @Door, 2 Item Minimum  (I'll be doing a 12-minute comedy set.)




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  2. Some Days Are Like This

    Tuesday, November 7, 2017







    Saturday morning.  Slept late.  Needed those
    hours of healing.  Early afternoon, step out to get my two-dollar breakfast at my favorite Arab bodega.  Four police vehicles are in front of my building.  Two are vans.  I guess I’m not the most miserable person in the building.  When I return with my coffee and piece of pound cake, the cops – some plain-clothed, some in uniform – are going in and out of the building.  Three neighbors out front, one of whom speaks English, are talking in Spanish.  I ask the one who understands me what happened.  “I don’t know,” he says, “I just got here.”


    I go home to my own troubles.  Can’t say I’m not curious about what’s going on though.  I don’t wish tragedy on anyone, however, I have to admit that I’m grateful this one isn’t mine.


    In my life, I’d been bullied, and I’d been mugged more than once.  Though
    it felt terrifying, they were strangers and it wasn’t personal.  But when an ex prefers me dead rather than alive and free, that hurts way worse.  Especially when it is voiced through his sons who had no reason of their own to feel that way.  Their father had emailed me shortly after we parted that he was lucky to have been loved by the most humane person he ever knew.  His sons don’t know that; they are the carriers of his rage.  I don’t think they know that either. 


    Betrayal by those I have given years of time, energy, and deep love to is 
    why I stay out of relationships (of the romantic kind) now.  I’m not saying I’m never tempted, but it just doesn’t seem worth it.  Too risky.  I need my energy (whatever’s left).  And I’d like to live (“selfish bitch” that I am).


    After having my breakfast, I take out two bags of garbage which means 
    having to go outside and into the alley (a place I was firmly warned to stay out of all through growing up).  The police vehicles are gone.  No neighbors outside.  I don’t know what the scene was all about.  Maybe, today, I am better off not knowing.  Some days are like this.



    11/4/2017



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  3. Mindy's Corner of the World

    Tuesday, October 24, 2017










    So what’s happening?  Aside from a pay cut across the board at my job? 

    • ·        This Saturday, October 28th, 8ish, Starving Artist Café on City Island, I’ll be doing a comedy set in between the marvelous music of Days of Wild, a Papa Guyo production.  Good food and desserts!

    • ·        Sunday, October 29th, 7:30, Broadway Comedy Club, Funny Underground Comedy Krew.  Produced by Aaron L. Smith.  


    • The Rundown
      $10 online
      $15 at the door
      2 Drink Minimum

      The lineup
      Gregory W. Hall
      Latice Klappa
      Aaron L. Smith
      Luis Vasquez

      Hosted By: Mindy Matijasevic

    • ·        Thursday, November 16th, 7pm, Lehman Stages, Lehman College.  Bronx Tales – an evening of true stories told, not read.  Stories are in the range from sad to amusing.  All very meaningful.  A Dante Albertie production.

    • ·        Friday, December 22nd, 6pm, Cornelia Street Café, What Were the Sixties Really Like? -- a Kathryn Adisman production.  I'll probably share a slice of memoir.

    • ·        Friday, January 12th, 8pm, Sir D’s Lounge, Brooklyn. Twisted Lipstick Comedy Show, a Mutiya Vision production.  



    Other than that, muchos problemas, but it may all be part of life’s 
    process.  I try to continue to have faith in the power of good.  There are indeed some angels in my life.  I also need more income to remain hanging onto the hamster wheel, so if you or anyone you know needs a freelance proofreader, I have lots of experience.   I've been told I am very good at it.  I can sit still for portrait painters.  I have much experience doing that too.  Of course, paid acting roles and comedy spots are very welcome!

    A sample of my comedic acting:


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  4. Impact by Rhonda Hansome

    Friday, October 20, 2017

     It was a dark fall night on Rt. 715 in Reeders PA. 

    I figured I'd missed the volunteer firehouse where I was hired to perform at a fundraiser.
    I pulled into a yard to maneuver.
    While poised in the driveway to make a left turn I was hit and projected parallel to the lawn.

    Yes, pretty scary and I was really shaken up.

    No one saw the impact, but everyone who heard it appeared and sprang into concerned action.

    Though roughed up and shaking, thank goodness, I walked away.

    Oddly enough, I performed at the firehouse fundraiser and KILLED!

    What's so funny?

    Could it be that because I'd been blocked in by a Taco Truck, at my parking lot and unable to drive to my late night spot at Broadway Comedy Club...
    I didn't have to pay $200.00 parking this month?
    Sad, true and funny in a WTF kind of way.

    But what continues to make me smile, shake my head and chuckle?
    My involuntary reaction to the state trooper who asked for my license, insurance and registration.
    Arousal. That's right. Arousal. 

    One minute I thought I'd breathed my last breath.
    Then a young state trooper looked at me.

    Flesh shouts what mouth won't speak
    Perfume rushing in a dry river bed
    Antique glistening unseen
    In moonlight
    Concedes
    To body betrayed

    I rode in a fire truck for the 1st time that night, grateful to be alive.


    Rhonda Hansome is a actress, director, comedian and story teller.

    Rhonda can be heard every Monday 2-5 PM on John Fugelsan's
    Tell Me Everything on Sirius XM ch 121.

    Hear her true life story and celebrate reproductive rights Nov. 6th:

    She performs with The Tribeca Performing Arts Center Writers In Performance Lab Dec. 1 and 2 at Tribeca PAC.

    Follow Rhonda on facebook, Twitter, IG and in your dreams.





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  5. Oh my God, Bob Quatrone’s 4 Horse poetry reading was a great event.  Independently it was also special for me.  I sometimes get roaring laughter from a poetry audience since there’s no expectation to be funny, so when it is, the laughter is big, and that happened more than once.  The owner of the place heard my reading and seemed impressed.  The host told me I scare him.  LOL  I left on a natural high.  The attentive and spirited 4 Horse audience is amazing.  They appreciate my frankness more than any other area of my life does except for my best friend.  He and I appreciate each other’s realness a whole lot. 


    In most other areas of life, I walk on thin ice.  But life is short, and I’m not going to waste it on phony crap. 





    A co-worker friend attended the reading, arrived before me, and held a seat for me with his jacket.  It was fun to experience the reading with him.  That really added to the thrill of the event for me.  We tend to like the same kind of writing.


    The experience was truly good for my spirit when writers whose work I love enjoy my writing as well.  Thank you for your support, Ron Kolm and Francine Witte.


    Then the next morning, I had breakfast with my best buddy.  That is always wonderful.  Medicine for my soul.


    Maybe all of that contributed to this.  I actually skipped take-out and went to the supermarket instead.  I bought food and cooked that evening.  


    My apartment smelled of chicken baking in a regular oven.  It was a welcome change from what my apartment often smells like – cigarettes and other non-food items.  

    And speaking of functioning, the next day, I did my laundry before going to a prose writing group I had been invited to be a part of.  I need a group that expects me to produce writing, but this may not be that group.  It is a small group – kept small deliberately.  It is just one woman who made it somewhat unpleasant.  I don’t know how much this can get better because I don’t think she can help herself.  I’ve learned a lot about the narcissistic personality disorder since my divorce war.  A recovery group has helped me significantly.  I’ll probably give the writing group another shot before I decide.  It is the difficult person who invited me to this small group after she heard me read a slice of memoir.  I had felt good about that, but now I have a feeling that this is yet another opportunity I’ve been presented with by the universe to see if I’ve grown.


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  6. Comics Need Poetry Too

    Tuesday, October 10, 2017












    This Friday evening, I’ll be part of a poetry reading.  The line-up is quite talented.  The ten bucks admission includes a drink.  So if you are tempted, curious, open, come on over.  It ends at 8, and you will have the rest of your night free to do whatever you do.

    4 HORSE 31 READING AT CORNELIA ST. CAFÉ OCT 13, 2017  6-8 PM


    GEORGE WALLACE
    RON KOLM
    HILLARY KEEL
    RONNIE NORPEL
     DEMETRIUS DANIEL
                MINDY MATIJASEVIC
    LINDA LERNER
    BOB HEMAN
    EVIE IVY
    EVE PACKER
    FRANCINE WITTE
    DAVID ELSASSER
    ROBERT GIBBONS
    BOB QUATRONE, HOST

    ADMISSION $10 (includes one drink)
    CORNELIA ST. CAFE
            212 989 0319

    4 HORSE POETS
    FOUNDED AFTER 9/11





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  7. A Brief Unfunny One...

    Saturday, October 7, 2017














    Feeling challenged and re-traumatized, I went to a friend.  Before I could say anything, she looked at my face and asked, “Whose ass do I have to kick?”












    My heart immediately felt lighter. 

    This is why I feel God hasn’t forgotten me.  I believe God
    places gifts in my path.  What I do with the gift is on me.

    Some challenges, upon further reflection, are blessings in deep disguise.  It takes a while to see it.

    I continue to ask God to protect my loved ones.  I continue to be grateful.






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  8. "Days of Wild" and then some!

    Tuesday, September 26, 2017











    This past Saturday, I performed my stand-up at Papa Guyo Guyocious’ “Days of Wild” show at the Starving Artist Café on City Island.  It was very uplifting to be part of the evening.  What amazing talent doing all of my favorite Sly and the Family Stone songs.


    Click here for A sample of the evening!


    I did stand-up during the music break.  The audience, for the most part, was with me, and, of course, that felt great.  Plus Papa Guyo is behind me on the stage sitting at his drums.  When he finds something funny, he just laughs and says aloud, “I love Mindy.”  Support right there on the stage.  Not your comedy club comedy show.  Not at all.  No being given “the light.” I generally do not hog the stage.  I like to leave the audience wanting more.  He had told me it was for the musicians’ break, so I planned about ten to twelve minutes.  That seemed to work for everyone.





    I had a friendly heckler who I know from the place, so when he disagreed aloud with something I said, I smiled.  Then I told him he was part of the problem.  Later in my routine, I named him where it was appropriate, and that turned out to be funny.  Later, outside the place, he told me how much he enjoyed it.


    As I was doing my set, I looked at the audience, not all of whom I was previously able to see from my seat, and I saw the face of someone who was once a sort of comedy pal until he revealed himself as an active enemy.  He had made my ex look like at least bronze (not gold, let’s not get crazy).  I had wanted this comedy guy and I to achieve peace as I always figured our paths would cross again and again.  He didn’t want peace.  He wanted/needed to be in battle.  His ex would probably love my comedy.  His and my paths do cross.  It’s, at least, awkward.  He was never able to own his shit and apologize, so it remains not quite neutral.  For me, I feel good to see my own growth in accepting that something is a reality (whether I like it or not) and staying more centered.  It serves me well at jobs and everywhere else in my life where narcissists may lurk.


    When I stepped out for a cigarette, a man from the audience came outside and told me I was very funny and asked if I would clean it up for television and did I want to be on Jimmy Kimmel's show.  He claimed Dennis Leary is his cousin.  Maybe all that is true, but I once saw this guy at the place chasing a possibility to get laid.  The woman he was drooling after had two small children who wanted to go home and not watch this man try to get with mommy.  Plus she had a small dog with her who wouldn't stop barking at him.  They were at an outside table and came in and out of the place.  I found it so disturbing because she looked very depressed, her children were whining, her dog was barking, and this guy went after her seeming only to care about his mission to get laid.  I remember leaning over to my friend and saying, "I wish she'd listen to her dog."  So whether he is Dennis Leary's cousin or not, whether he has pull with the Jimmy Kimmel show or not, my instinct was watch out.  I gave him my card at the end of the evening, and he said he would make a call to somebody.  Every vibe from me said, "I'm penis-free."  I'll let you readers know what happens, if anything.  I won't hold my breath nor will I pay a pussy tax.

    If you want to catch me on stage -- whether for comedy, poetry, or prose – and you prefer to plan in advance, here’s what’s going on so far. 

    ·        Friday, Sept. 29th 8pm, Open Mic Night (for all talents) at Starving Artist Café on City Island.  Free to enter and participate.  $10 minimum on food & beverages.  The food is good.  I will do something, probably comedy.

    ·        Friday, Oct. 13th 6pm, Cornelia Street Café (downstairs), Greenwich Village, NYC.  The 4 Horse Reading Series curated by Bob Quatrone.  $10 includes a drink!  I’ll be reading poetry.

    ·        Sunday, Oct. 29th 7:30pm, F.U.C.K. (Funny Underground Comedy Krew) show at Broadway Comedy Club.  Produced by Aaron Smith.  It’s a fundraiser for a young man whose mom passed.  $10 on line; $15 at the door.  I’m hosting.

    ·        Friday, December 22nd 6pm, Cornelia Street Café (downstairs), Greenwich Village, NYC.  What Were the Sixties Really Like?  $10 includes a drink!  I’ll probably share a short memoir piece.

    ·        Friday, Jan. 12th 8pm, Sir D’s Lounge, 837 Union Street, Brooklyn, NY.  Twisted Lipstick Comedy Show.  $10.  I’m doing a 12-minute comedy set.


    I’ll keep you updated as things get added or change.  Glad to be back on my Tuesday schedule with all you She So Funny readers.  I truly appreciate your interest and time.


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  9. All Kinds of Stuff & Upcoming Events

    Tuesday, September 19, 2017










    Well, my belly has outgrown most of my pants (not that I have many items of clothing).  I am so disappointed.  There was a time that my behind was the most protruding part.  But my belly took over.  I no like.  Not only did I have to spend some bill money on a few clothing items so that I can go to work with clothes on, but I was so hard to fit.  Damn.  This isn’t the look I was ever going for.  I have to do something more about this than I have been doing.  Ugh.  I was wondering if I should just go to the maternity section.


    I have been fortunate to have been invited to participate in a number of things recently.  I was part of #SheReads at N.A.M.A. again this year.  They had come to know me as a comic, but this time I delivered poetry.  Some of it is humorous, so they were laughing anyway.


    This past Friday, I was honored to read at a book launch for Bryan Cornel Fox’s book, The Political Romantic Tales of a Bronx Boy. 




    The author was busy autographing and selling his book.  He also listened attentively to the invited readers.  The person who basically produced the event was Gabriel Don, and she was great at what she does.  She's the one at the mic with her shoes kicked off.




    Listening to Gabriel’s writing, I liked her more and more.  Then she heard me read several poems, and she said I was a woman after her own heart.  There were good vibes all around.




    It took place at Sensei Gallery Bar where I’d never been to before but would definitely go to again.  I gained some new fans.  One woman who actively listened and later, when I went to thank her, told me that what I read was “so on point” works as an assistant district attorney.  Always wonderful to meet folks from all walks. 


    Speaking of mixing it up, I am adding comedy to a wonderful music show on Saturday, September 23rd at 8pm at The Starving Artist Café on City Island.  Papa Guyo Guyocious of Days of Wild is a very talented, caring, community-minded, and fun person.  It’s his show, along with some accompanying musicians, and he enjoys my stand-up enough to ask me to join his party.  I really appreciate it.  




    Those of you who always wanted to stroll along City Island, do it before the cold weather arrives, and conclude it with dinner, music, comedy, and great vibes here:





    No cover charge!  Just eat the wonderful food (at least $10); there are always some yummy things offered for vegetarians as well; you are free to bring your own alcoholic beverage if you wish.  It’s a very homestyle atmosphere. 


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  10. The Bronx has Yankee Stadium, a world class Botanical Garden, and an award winning zoo. I live in the Bronx - and I hate it.

    I grew up in the borough of churches, Brooklyn, the county of Kings.

    I can’t forget Paul Newman’s eyes in Fort Apache the Bronx or Melanie Griffith’s baby woman lilt in Bonfire of the Vanities. Those movies painted for me the soul of the Bronx and convinced me I preferred my gritty NY, Brooklyn style.


    It’s not that Brooklyn was less violent, or had a lower drug fueled body count. I just loved the county of my birth.

    Not really. As a child, “Bed-Stuy do or die!” was "Mostly die!" The violence, drugs and burned out buildings made me want to leave as soon as I could. And I did.

    I left with Phil, my high school sweetheart, to a 5 flight walk up on E.110th St.  
    The Young Lords collected our rent and junkies paused mid-fix to let us pass by. 

    We were an interracial Romeo & Juliet, searching for our Camelot. When we said goodbye to Spanish Harlem, Brooklyn welcomed us back. For a time we lived rent free as sextons of an Ocean Ave. church, then moved to a 1 bedroom (in an elevator building!) on Linden Blvd. near Bedford Ave. When Flatbush began to feel too provincial, we found cosmopolitan cache in lower Manhattan. 

    It was a short walk to Soho, China Town, The Village and Little Italy, but even taxis didn't know the route to our new home off the Hudson. No neighborhood stores, banks or streetlights for Washington Market area pioneers, made moving to Independence Plaza an even more romantic adventure. 



    We settled down and had a son. 

    In the years that followed I was shocked to find myself in THE center of the universe, when Robert De Niro christened MY neighborhood - Tribeca. Now, we had stores; but just to buy coffee I had to pick my way through a gaggle of celebrities, like Naomi Campbell, John John Kennedy, Nathan Lane and that's just in August when no one is in NY.

    Phil and I made it through 9/11 but not our marital strife. 

    When divorce sent me packing back to Brooklyn I found a great one bedroom in a neglected brownstone. I was so depressed, the only time I laughed was when EVERY visitor and I do mean EVERYONE said, 
    "You should rent your walk-in closet. You could get 7 or 800 a month."
    "On Macon St. and Malcolm X?" (I laughed)

    I was alone for the first time in my life. No husband, no work, no health insurance. My only comfort was that the hood reminded me of simpler times: Red Light Green Light 1-2-3! and Double-Dutch with that girl who was always double handed.

    My life was in tatters. Emotionally adrift and so distracted, I didn't notice that the center of the universe followed me to Bed-Stuy. The lone white family on Macon St. should have been my 1st clue. Then, I missed a 2nd clue - The A train.

    Usually on the A train, after Borough Hall, my fellow travelers were all melanin gifted. One night at my stop, Utica Ave., I looked at the crowd on the train and left wondering, "Where are all those white people going? Somewhere for Scientology?"

    I finally got the message when the city repaved Nostrand Ave. and put benches at bus stops on Fulton St. I saw white people: walking at midnight, heads in i-phones - not even looking up! Blonds and redheads jogging in their little shorts and walking their little dogs; and that was just the men.

    House after house was sold and bought changing the complexion of my block. For a minute I considered buying the brownstone I lived in. The broker said it didn't matter I was unemployed, because payments wouldn't increase until much later that year.

    When the brown skin sister who wrote for the NY Post bought my building I thought, "I got this!" 

    Little did I know I'd dodged a sub-prime mortgage bullet only to get hit with a rent increase cannon ball. 

    When my lease was almost up, Sister Land Lady informed me I could stay another year at double the rent. Yes, double the rent! My random extra work on movies and TV, left me with a thousand dollar budget for shelter. 

    Because white kids, from I don't know where, were eager to pay 3 times my "reasonable rent", I had 3 months to leave. 

    "Mayor DeBlasio's Affordable Housing lottery is a joke." I tweeted daily. 
    All I wanted was a nice 1 bedroom for a thousand dollars a month.

    After 9 months of looking and a nervous breakdown, I bought a co-op in the South Bronx. Yes, I bought a co-op, because I didn't earn enough money for "affordable housing"; except the two times they told me I made too much???!!!
    Yes, the Affordable Housing lottery is a joke.

    The first week I moved to Soundview, there was a murder around the corner. After 2 years, I'm use to the helicopter noise and fleet of emergency vehicles investigating the monthly shootings.

    When I notice I've no friends near, nor shops I prefer, not even my bank close by; I feel petty AND sad that I bought an apartment in Fort Apache, The Bronx. Speaking of movies...

    Down the street on a lot just off Bruckner Blvd., York studios broke ground on a $100 million dollar studio for movie and TV production.


     No the Bronx isn't burning. 


    The heat I feel is the center of the universe breathing down my neck. 

    Rhonda Hansome (actress, director
    storyteller & stand up comic)
    Heard 2-5 PM Mondays on SiriusXM 
    Ch 121 with John Fugelsang.
    See Rhonda herethere and around.











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