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    I was supposed to attend a poetry festival on Saturday afternoon.  I was really looking forward to it.  An hour of workshopping, an hour of featured poets, and an hour of open mic-ers.  Free.  So when I couldn’t bear to wake up in time, I felt so disappointed that I was opting to sleep.  Yet, I spent so much of my life sleep-deprived for different reasons, that my need to sleep and have disturbing dreams feels crucial.  Later, I saw I had an email announcing that the event was canceled due to the possibility of storms.  I felt much better.  I’m assuming it will be re-scheduled, and I hope to get there.


    My struggle with the f’n’ cigarettes continues.  I can’t stand the enslavement feeling.  I’m still at a better average than before my efforts, but still with a ways to go.  My breathing is still not as easy as I’d like and need it to be.  


    My buddy/unofficially adopted brother helped me with many things on Sunday.  A leak from the toilet tank.  Brunch.  A trip to the rental office.  A ride to the bank.  I felt so loved.  It feels like it does something good to my physiology.  Tomorrow, I’m going to accompany him to his oral surgeon, and then a few of his errands.  After all that, if he is feeling okay, he plans to help me with some things in the apartment.  If he and I had both been born to his family or mine, I don’t think we’d be as close as we are.  We are each other’s chosen siblings.  👫

    Photo and photo funny stuff by Noemi Ross
    (former office manager who also provided counseling services at Lehman College's Adult Learning Center)


    I had some affection sessions with my girl, Mustache, in recent days.  For those who don’t know, she is my feline friend who lives and works in a nearby store.  There is more to that story, of course complications, but that’ll be for another time.



    198th Street & Valentine Avenue



    Constant love to CGG-M ❤❤❤

    Mindy Matijasevic








  2. Runaway Princess & Other Things

    Thursday, August 26, 2021


    If you’ve never heard of Dr. Ramani, you might want to check out her videos on youtube.  I knew of her for over a year but just began to listen to her videos.  A lot of clarity for free. 


    My buddy/brother, Bob, did come up and get rid of the water bug for me (for those of you who read my last blog


    I am happy to share that I had a very fun night with a friend and former co-worker, Steven, when we went to see a one-woman show at The Artist on City Island this past Saturday.  The show is definitely worth seeing, and The Artist plans to have the show again at some point.



    My friend didn’t realize that for me to get there meant 3 buses.  We agreed to meet there.  But the plus side of having to take 3 buses meant I was in air conditioning and where I cannot smoke.  The show did not disappoint.  I always am very curious how someone puts together a one-person show.  Mary Goggin did it successfully.  I’d like to be able to do that.


    After the show, Steven and I went to the bar nearby.  It was raining, so we couldn’t sit outside.  We had to be inside; again in a place I can’t smoke.  So each inconvenience actually turned out to be a positive.  I smoked less that day than I did in each of the prior 21 days.  When we were in the bar, I did step out a couple of times to have a few puffs, but, in total, that was a half of a cigarette.  This is still quite a struggle, so I am grateful for that day.


    My last update is I finally got a date of expected payment from the IRS.  Hallelujah!  I still can’t understand why it took so long.  But it’s not here yet, so I’m not considering it a done deal until I can pay my backed-up bills with it.





    My love to CGG-M ❤💕❤

    Mindy Matijasevic

    August 2021



  3. Men and Bugs

    Tuesday, August 17, 2021


    A few days ago, I awoke due to my bladder.  Opened my eyes and saw a dark moving thing on a box.  It was a water bug.  Before I could scream, the phone rang.  It was my closest friend who is a man and doesn’t share my hysteria.  I gave him a play-by-play as I picked up a fly swatter and smacked the water bug.  It landed on the floor.  It was on its back and struggling to live.  As it moved, I screamed while holding the phone and the swatter, “It’s trying to live!”  I felt so awful as I hit it again.  It shot across the floor near a pile of my poems.  It looked dead.  My friend and I hung up since I had to pee so badly. 


    When I returned from the bathroom, I didn’t see the corpse where I left it.  Now I was worried that it was crawling around somewhere.  I put on my sneakers and got dressed.  I decided I had to stomp and let creatures know I am the boss here.  Then I saw that water bug crawling again in my foyer near the bathroom.  I couldn’t believe how strong this thing is after being beaten.  I took a wine bottle and put it on the water bug.  The bottom of the bottle isn’t flat.  It curves up and makes an air bubble.  I then felt awful that the water bug was going to suffocate to death.  But I couldn’t deal with any other way of handling it.


    Later, I saw my buddy and updated him on the water bug situation.  He laughed and asked if it will stay under the bottle for a year now.  I said, “No. Just until you come up and get rid of it for me.”  He laughed and said that he will. 


    20 seconds and hilarious!

    Love to CGG-M  ❤❤❤

    Mindy Matijasevic

    August 2021


    The show last Friday on City Island turned out very well.  The people who run The Artist make me feel so welcome and appreciated.  It’s a great way to start the evening. 


    My buddy Bob and friend Ilona drove me to the place.  Otherwise it would have been a 3-bus, stress-filled trip.


    I was honored to be joined by these folks:  Joanne Filan, Jose Angel Diaz, and Leighann Lord.


    Plus, we had a Columbia Journalism student, Isabel, interviewing and taping Leighann Lord and Joanne Filan for a documentary she is doing for school.


    I was very honored by surprise gifts sent to me at the place – an amazing bouquet with vase, water, and flower food plus a bottle of champagne.  The flowers live longer in my house than the champagne.  Lilies are still opening and making me smile whenever I walk past the bouquet.  The person who sent them told me she couldn’t be at the show but would be there in spirit with a cocktail in her hand and a smile on her face.  She did more than that.  It was amazing.  I’m not used to the royal treatment.  It feels good.  I should get used to it.


    Audience members teased that it was from a man.  I announced, “Actually, it’s from a woman.” 


    After the show and the hugs (yes, I hugged people!), my friends Judy and Steven and I went to a nearby bar at their outdoor seating.  The weather was perfect.  We hardly get to hang out together, so it was a treat.  To our surprise, many people we don’t know came over to us to talk about all kinds of things.  One yelled from across the street to a man outside the bar about a woman who left the bar, “She wanted to s—k your d—k!”  Then he saw my bouquet and us and came over to apologize for his language and went on and on about how he loves his mother, etc., etc.  More things like that went on.  By the end of the night, I told my friends, “I now officially consider City Island the Bronx.”  We closed the bar.  Judy drove me home at about 4:00am.


    I truly enjoyed the entire night and, unlike when I was younger, I was tired for the following two days.


    My next show at The Artist will be Friday, October 22nd.  Mark your calendars.  Another line-up I’m proud of.  I’m so glad to be doing this again.

    Constant love to CGG-M  ❤❤❤

    Mindy Matijasevic

    August 2021