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  1. A Justice Fantasy

    Tuesday, March 28, 2017











    If this makes me a "bitch," I'll wear the badge.



             One of my recurring fantasies

                                                           
                                                                                      
















    has been

                   
       

                                                                                and

                                                                                           
                                                                                 


    sharing a   
      ​                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                      

                                                   and jerking off at each other 'til                  

                                                                   
                                                                                                             
                                                                   do they part.






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  2. When I Have Money...

    Tuesday, March 21, 2017









    When I have enough money, I tend to have toilet paper, tissues, and towel paper.  When I don't have enough money, I typically have one of those things serving many roles.  Also when I have enough money, I put my refund bottles in a shopping bag and put it outside for those who rely on it for income.  If I see someone collecting cans and bottles, I hand them the bag directly.  And when I'm not with enough money, I refund the bottles myself and use each nickel.



    I had a real fun time at Red White & Brew in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn last Wednesday.  I will admit that I was the oldest person in the room.  Still, I felt warmly welcomed by host Vincenzo Bracale, the bartender, and the audience.  It's a long trip from where I live, but I napped on the trains, so it was okay.  I had a decent set, it seemed, from the feedback.  The bartender knew how to make my Long Island Iced Tea, so after two, I had to rely on the audience feedback.  They called my set "great."



    That film I thought I was in next weekend, I don't know what has happened with that.  However, I have an audition on Saturday for an acting role in something.

    I received an email today saying I won $100 on www.gsn.com which I will receive in 3 to 4 weeks.  I know I will need it whenever it arrives.



    Excuse me. Signing off now to get some toilet paper, so I can blow my nose.

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  3. Tense Town by Rhonda Hansome

    Sunday, March 19, 2017


    New York will woo you, whip you and leave you naked in the gutter. She crushes with potential and fulfills with irony. When you embrace New York don't give her your soul and sanity.

    In a veritable blizzard of disturbing news stories, these two headlines shook me to my core.



    The blatant violence made me all too aware that at any moment in this city that never sleeps, you can be vulnerable and assaulted. My heart broke for these victims of unsolicited violence.

    The perpetrators of these hateful acts are enthralled in a degree of unhappiness and desperation I pray to never know.

    I do comedy. 
    I hope to bring laughter and a lighter heart to all within the sound of my voice.


    8 PM Tue. March 21st 
    Get $10 Tickets Here: Poetry & Punchlines 
    $15 At The Door




    7 PM Thu. March 23rd
    I'm On The Panel At
    Brooklyn Museum
    Fierce Funny and Feminist






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  4. Post-Blizzard Laughs

    Tuesday, March 14, 2017






    I've been financially limping along, but thanks to angels in my life, I have been able to eat.  

    The good news is there will be a small raise in my salary, I'm performing comedy in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn this Wednesday evening, and I might have a paid acting gig in two weeks.  Not a big amount at all, but something.  I feel a bit hopeful again.  The role is that of a widow named Carmen.  I can do melancholy.

    For those of you who are in Brooklyn or willing to travel to Brooklyn, I'll be performing my stand-up comedy on Wednesday, March 15th, 9pm at Red, White & Brew, 8910 5th Avenue in Bay Ridge.  It's free.   I don't know what other funny people are on the line-up.  I know it's no cover and no minimum.  Come have some post-blizzard laughs on me.





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  5. Feeling some kinda way
    In a Blues for Mr. Charlie
    Or Dutchman kinda way
    When you're trying
    To not kill somebody -
    Anybodies
    Because of something said
    So you paint the sky, sculpt,
    Sing or blow a sax until it cries
    Hurt into memory

    I was in the company of aquaintances and got eyeball deep in my feelings.
    "Principal?"
    A one word question seared my soul. I had not said I had lines. I didn't even call it acting. I said I had spent a day walking around a cemetary and had used my car on a TV shoot.

    Being an extra in a movie or TV show is a payday for me. I'd prefer to have lines and featured screen time, but I'm an extra by circumstance not choice. I'm background and grateful for a check.

    "Cancer is deeply sensitive and easily hurt." 

    Astrology and phases of the moon aside, I cursed and spewed witty cutting retorts back at him,
    in my mind, for days. Stung even more because it seemed no one else at the table even noticed.

    "Principle?" The question came from a person for whom no audition is necessary. His roles, he stated several times, are always a direct call from casting.

    I'll admit, earlier that day, I felt some kind of way when TMZ reported the insolent 13 year old 
    "Cash Me Outside" girl
     is juggling offers from 7 (seven!!!) different production companies. 

    Planets, stars or nah, being asked if I was a principle, on what was a background payday, just put me all up in my feelings.

    "I'm an extra on the TV
    If you blink slow you won't see me
    I add atmosphere, my voice you won't hear
    I don't make a sound
    I'm background.
    I knew making movies wasn't easy
    But being an extra makes my stomach queasy.
    Give me the chance to show some panache
    Oh you want me to sit and be a silent bit?
    I've studied Chekov, Chayefsky, Euripides
    Bullins, Baraka, Aristophanes.
    Oh how I've cried for just a few lines
    Oh how I pray for just one word to say, but
    I'm an extra on the TV
    If you blink slow you won't see me
    I add atmosphere, my voice you won't hear
    I don't make a sound I'm background."

    I wrote I'm An Extra several decades ago. It's nobody's fault that it still rings true.
    I'm alright now. I talked myself off a ledge. I live to be an extra another day.
    In fact tomorrow, on Power, me and my car will be background.

    Thank you for your eyes on this page. Your support is appreciated. BTW, I"m seeking representation.

    You are invited to laugh at my foibles ...

    Sunday March 5th  - 7 PM Brooklyn Commons
    388 Atlantic Ave. Brooklyn NY 11217


    Thursday March 9th - 8 PM Jimmy's 43
    43 East &th St. NYC 10003
    Laughing Liberally With Scott Blakeman


    Friday March 10th - 6 PM Flo Empire Radio
    Big Talk & Brewskis With Maryssa Smith


    Sunday March 19th - Don't Tell Mama
    343 West 46th St. NYC 10036
    Groovin On a Sunday


    Thursday March 23rd - 7 PM Brooklyn Museum
    200 Eastern Parkway Brooklyn NY 11238
    Brooklyn Comedy Marathon: 
    Fierce, Funny & Feminist


    When I do stand-up folks laugh, when I tell true life stories folks listen and when I direct theater it's interesting. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and sometimes Periscope.
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