She So Funny

Feeling some kinda way
In a Blues for Mr. Charlie
Or Dutchman kinda way
When you're trying
To not kill somebody -
Anybodies
Because of something said
So you paint the sky, sculpt,
Sing or blow a sax until it cries
Hurt into memory

I was in the company of aquaintances and got eyeball deep in my feelings.
"Principal?"
A one word question seared my soul. I had not said I had lines. I didn't even call it acting. I said I had spent a day walking around a cemetary and had used my car on a TV shoot.

Being an extra in a movie or TV show is a payday for me. I'd prefer to have lines and featured screen time, but I'm an extra by circumstance not choice. I'm background and grateful for a check.

"Cancer is deeply sensitive and easily hurt." 

Astrology and phases of the moon aside, I cursed and spewed witty cutting retorts back at him,
in my mind, for days. Stung even more because it seemed no one else at the table even noticed.

"Principle?" The question came from a person for whom no audition is necessary. His roles, he stated several times, are always a direct call from casting.

I'll admit, earlier that day, I felt some kind of way when TMZ reported the insolent 13 year old 

Planets, stars or nah, being asked if I was a principle, on what was a background payday, just put me all up in my feelings.

"I'm an extra on the TV
If you blink slow you won't see me
I add atmosphere, my voice you won't hear
I don't make a sound
I'm background.
I knew making movies wasn't easy
But being an extra makes my stomach queasy.
Give me the chance to show some panache
Oh you want me to sit and be a silent bit?
I've studied Chekov, Chayefsky, Euripides
Bullins, Baraka, Aristophanes.
Oh how I've cried for just a few lines
Oh how I pray for just one word to say, but
I'm an extra on the TV
If you blink slow you won't see me
I add atmosphere, my voice you won't hear
I don't make a sound I'm background."

I wrote I'm An Extra several decades ago. It's nobody's fault that it still rings true.
I'm alright now. I talked myself off a ledge. I live to be an extra another day.
In fact tomorrow, on Power, me and my car will be background.

Thank you for your eyes on this page. Your support is appreciated. BTW, I"m seeking representation.


When I do stand-up folks laugh, when I tell true life stories folks listen and when I direct theater it's interesting. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and sometimes Periscope.

On a lunch break his week. doing stand-in* work on the TV show Madam Secretary, I had a provocative exchange with a background** co-worker we'll call Patricia Patrician.
She was a petite mature white woman more attractive in person than the selfies she shared*** conveyed.

I envied the flattering cut of Patricia's thick head of gray hair. Yes, I envy women (of a certain age) who confidently sport thick heads of white, platinum, or graying hair with aplomb. I also envy women who use words like aplomb with aplomb, but I digress.

            This Photo Is Not Patricia

                           The Only Photo After I Searched For Images Of Black Women With Gray Hair

Patricia was researching roles for a screen scene study class (say that 3 times fast!) and was disappointed those she'd read included semi-nudity, which she felt was demeaning to women.

We got on the topic of standing-in, which I've done many times including for Whoopi Goldberg on an episode of Absolutely Fabulous shot in NY. I mentioned Patricia could easily stand in for an actress I've admired for decades...


We bonded over our affection for Helen Mirren until I mentioned how frequently she appeared semi- nude in many of her (critically acclaimed!) films. Patricia's face paled as she sighed.

PP: Now, I've loss all respect for her.
Me: Why have you lost respect for Helen Mirren?
PP: I don't think a woman should demean herself by doing that on film.
Me: Doing what?
PP: Taking her clothes off on-camera.
Me: Do you have less respect for Jane Fonda, Sophia Loren, and Susan Sarandon?
PP: I don't respect any woman who would take her clothes off on-camera. What do you think?
Me: I think you have every right to your opinion.

And in my head I continued... "If I were offered the quantity and quality of diverse and challenging roles offered to Helen Mirren, I'd drop clothes in a NY minute. And I'm not going to mention my youthful lead in an indie feature in which I played a stripper!

















That being said, I recently turned down the opportunity to audition for a nude part just because I considered my naked body of the moment not "camera ready". Now THAT is demeaning! I may have just lost all respect for myself.

*Stand-in is a (2nd team) actor who stands in position for the principal or featured actor while the director sets blocking and technicians arrange lighting and assorted equipment needed for a particular scene; after which the (1st team) star, feature or day player actor steps into place.

**Background artists or ambiance is the name I prefer to what some disparagingly call "extras". These are the (non-speaking) actors who walk around or sit near 1st team actors to support the look or ambiance of a scene.

***Sharing pictures of our different "looks" is a traditional pastime on set. We compare the "characters" we offer casting directors who hold our incomes in their decisions. For example ...