Rss Feed
  1. Mindy's Monday

    Monday, December 14, 2020


     

    So the day began with my bladder ordering me awake.  The neighbor upstairs was doing his workout upstairs involving heavy equipment that he drags along his floor/my ceiling, and he drops weights and all kinds of things that make me feel I will die by ceiling.  So I couldn’t go back to sleep.  I was still tired and needed my dream time.  But I went out to get coffee and a bagel.

     

    Physically, I have been feeling somewhat weak, so instead of going to my preferred store, I went to a closer store.  I asked for a buttered bagel lightly toasted.  When I got home, I saw I had a partially burnt roll lightly buttered.  We both spoke English well, so it wasn’t a misunderstanding.

     

    I was hungry, so I ate most of it.  I wanted to go back to sleep, but the MF-er upstairs was doing his thing – treating the apartment like a gym.  It wasn’t built to be a gym, so this is a problem.  He seems to also run track up there.  I’ve made contact with him twice in the past and even told the super.  I have not told the landlord yet because I was hoping we could solve this without doing that.  In other ways he seems like a decent person.  I might have liked him if he didn’t live above me.  I took a big stick I have and banged on the ceiling a lot.  He eventually stopped.  


    I checked email and was encouraged by an email from the executive director of City Lore.  He asked for my okay to include a poem of mine in the Corona Archives and to use in a future exhibit. Oh yes!  Fine with me. The poem was about when we heard Biden was announced the winner of the presidential election.  He said I caught the moment.  That felt good.  I need to feel good.


    I went back to sleep.

     

    Disturbing dreams as usual, but they have to happen so that I may have some peace when awake.

     

    Woken by someone knocking on my door.  It was the delivery of a package from a beautiful woman I was lucky to have as a boss for four years several years ago.  She made a difference in my life, and I often relive times with her in my mind just to feel better. 

     

    I haven’t opened the package yet; I like to elongate the anticipation.

     

    I fell back asleep, and then it was night.  See how topsy-turvy my life has become?  I lost my job before the pandemic and then everything just became harder.  But honestly, with the new administration at that job, I wouldn’t have lasted there anyway.  It became almost the opposite of what it was 18 years earlier when I began working there. 

     

    I went out to some stores.  In the Mexican place where I was waiting for my chicken tacos, a man who is a regular in the neighborhood, came into the store (which is small and only allows one person at a time now) to try to sell me a pocketbook for $5.  The owner told him he couldn’t be there without a mask.  He left, and on his way out, told me, “I just want to get something to eat.”  I told him, “I know.”  I got my tacos, paid with a five-dollar bill and got a dollar back.  When I left the store, I gave him the dollar.  There are days when I am searching pockets, under couch pillows, old pocketbooks, etc. for change. So I know one day I might miss that dollar, but tonight, I was able to spare it.  He thanked me and said, “God bless you.”

     

    When I returned, I checked my mail and there was a fat envelope from my friend Liz who I met in my twenties at a corporate job. She was one of the rare ones with humanity.  She kept me afloat during those trying years.  I haven’t opened that yet either. 

     

    I often feel God has blessed me even if as a child, I wondered if God knew I was here.




      5th night of Hanukkah

     

     


    So much love to CGG-M. 💚 💛 💜


  2. Survived Thanksgiving

    Tuesday, December 1, 2020


     






    I slept most of Thanksgiving Day.  People called and left messages on my land line’s answering machine.  I heard the messages as they came in.  One was from a friend and former co-worker, Steven.  He said that he hoped I wasn’t alone.


    Thanksgiving was typically a hard holiday for me since childhood.  It’s very family-oriented, and I had a hard family experience. Then it continued to feel like a sad holiday for me with the exception of the years my once-friend Brenda invited me to join her family.  She had two adorable children, and I had a wonderful toddler.  She had a high chair in her apartment, so we were set.  My son loved being with her children.  His cheeks were covered with mashed potatoes by the end of the meal.  


    Those were precious times, but, for me, the holiday always felt difficult.  Eventually Brenda moved away in more ways than one.  I was in an unhappy situation, so no matter what went on for the holiday, I felt sad. Years later, more developments happened that just made the holiday worse. Eventually, I began to act as if it weren’t a holiday, and I treated it as any other day.


    A friend in New Jersey, Barbara, had invited me for Thanksgiving, but I don't eat indoors with other people at this time.  Too risky for me.  So I declined.


    As I sleepily listened to my friend Steven’s message saying he hoped I wasn’t alone, I thought, no that’s fine. I’ve had Thanksgivings spent with a person who claimed to love me and made me miserable.


    Being alone was fine.  It is COVID-free, and I do whatever I care to and eat whatever I feel like.  I can choose to not get dressed, watch whatever I want on TV, write, sleep, clean, whatever.  I'm not dealing with anyone else's hostility.  Of course it can be better, and I hope next year it will be.  But I wasn’t feeling bad about being alone.  I’ve been way lonelier when not alone. 


    My best buddy and I spoke on the phone later that night.  I ate pizza.  He had oral surgery two days before, so he had Ensure for Thanksgiving.  But we had our 40+-year-friendship and laughter on the phone (aside from grumbling about everything).  I’d give up a fancy dinner for that any day.

     

     

     


     

     

    Much love to CGG-M ❤❤❤


  3. Politoonitics by Rhonda Hansome

    Friday, November 20, 2020

     


    We're celebrating

     Politoonitics 

    Pronounced: Poli-tooni-tics / Poli - tune - i- tiks

    Definition: Political cartoon antics from me and The Art of Scott W.

     I write, Scott illustrates and people respond to our work;  "Spot on!" "All too true."

    Like our face book page. Share your favorite cartoon! 

    Commission a request.

    The perfect gift for a politically aware friend.

    Sharing Politoonitics & word of mouth tells the world of our work.

     

     Weekly, hear comedian Rhonda Hansome on Sirius XM Progress radio Ch 127 - John Fugelsang's Tell Me Everything 11:15 PM EST #HansomeMonday rebroadcast Tues. 6 AM ET. Rhonda is a Politipod podcast actor/writer. Latest episode Cut Sir  on Sound Cloud. 

    Text BEHOLD to 42828 to add your email for notice of Rhonda Hansome's events.


  4. Keeping it Positive!

    Wednesday, November 18, 2020


     



    Wow!  People were dancing in the streets for days!!! 



    My friend Jessica Nooney



    I’ve even seen an increase in my neighborhood peeps wearing masks.  Connected?  I don’t know.




     

    My buddy set up my laptop.  It didn’t go totally smoothly because of many technical things that are beyond my ability to re-tell.  For the first time, I was able to attend the Wednesday night poetry workshop where everyone was able to see and hear me as I see and hear them.  That was fun.  However, I did have to put on a shirt, look decent, etc.  J  I was also able to fully participate in a poetry festival this past Sunday.

     

    My secret angel made this all possible.  The laptop with a webcam and mic was a gift that boosts me into this era.  Amazing.  One never knows where blessings will come from next.  This person wants to remain anonymous.  Whatever he wants in that regard is fine with me.  I’ll just say he is from the writing community.  My jaw is still hanging.  Oh, in case anyone’s thoughts went there, no, he’s not trying to sleep with me.  He is happily and committedly partnered up.  He’s seen me at poetry readings where I read my stuff, he’s been to a few comedy shows where I performed, he’s heard some memoir pieces of mine, he reads my blogs and knew I lived without certain things, and he wanted to help.  He really stepped me into this era.  I have often said in previous blogs that I so appreciate the angels on Earth who remind me of certain things… like God/dess hasn’t forgotten me.

     

    As evil as the human race can be, it is also magically humane.  I’ve seen both and experienced both.  Both amaze me.

     

    And since this is a comedy-related blog, I will share something that made me feel good in that part of my life.  On 12/21/2018, a week and some days before Cornelia Street Café had to close, I was in a variety show there, produced by Kathryn Adisman, where I did comedy.  Kathryn recently came across a review by Sarah Dowson in the West View News.  We were not aware that there was a reviewer in the place.  This is what Ms. Dowson wrote (I am mentioned in the third paragraph):

     

    Villagers Speak as Cornelia Street Café Curtain Comes Down

    02/04/2019

    Ghost City Cabaret

     

    Friday night, December 21, 2018, 50 or so poetry and Cornelia Street Café lovers turned to the light for winter solstice and a final evening at the café, due to close in several days. Years ago, when I wrote poetry regularly, I attended and read at open mics at the Cornelia Street Café. It was a wonderful space for people to gather, express opinions and make friends. In her introduction to this solstice evening, Ghost City Cabaret’s Katherine Adisman (“K”), verbalized the concerns of many in attendance about the closings of reasonably-priced gathering spaces in Manhattan.

     

    Once inside after a wait in the bar/restaurant at street level, and finding a seat downstairs, I passed two tiny gender-neutral restrooms at right angles to each other, painted red. I remembered these, as well as the long, narrow room with tables and chairs and a bar at its entrance. Sitting comfortably was easier if one were small or thin. The cement walls were blue, and a red curtain hung behind the stage in front.

     

    A capacity audience of about 50 filled the room. Several writers/performers gave presentations. My favorites: Mindy Matijasevic’s “Comedy for Grown Folks” and drummer Fred Simpson’s musical offerings entitled “Kindness” and “Goodbye, CSC” a tribute to the café. Su Polo gave an outstanding performance of her essay, “A Walk into Christmas” about a possibly lonely pre-holiday evening, walking her dog uptown from 27th Street to Rockefeller Center, and being suddenly surrounded by carolers (her dog in the center of their circle) and then being invited to sing carols: a festive, inclusive evening after all.

     

    After an intermission, open mic performers raced the clock to give everyone a chance to perform, as the café was hosting another event shortly. Ghost City Cabaret has been at Cornelia St. Café for four years. It will revive, K said. “To be continued … in another dimension” the evening’s flyer assured.

     

    — Sarah Dowson

     

     


     

    Much love to CGG-M ❤❤❤

    Mindy Matijasevic

     

     

     

     

     



  5.  






    Truth, Justice, and Dancin’ in the Streets

     

    Hey People!  I’m relieved that Biden was announced the winner.  I was overly confident in 2016, so I didn’t dare think we won this time ‘til yesterday.  I am very disappointed and sad that so many people voted for a rapist, racist, dictator, child abuser, wife abuser, worker abuser, mother fucker.  At times I feel I should be visiting the rest of the country as a speaker.  Then again, the idea of getting shot to death dampens that idea.

     

    A national block party was such a happy happening.  I didn’t join in because I have COVID concerns, but the knowledge of what was happening felt good.

     

    I don’t want to be a party pooper, but I don’t want you to be shocked that things may get worse for a while until the change happens.  I have learned about narcissism, and his threat of not leaving does not surprise me.  There are many mates who have expressed their need for their “partner” to leave and the narcissist refuses.  This is part of the illness.  They swim in hatred, so they don’t care if they are where they are not wanted.  They enjoy the battle, and no one else’s life matters to them.  I’m starting to learn that they may not to be able to help it; it may not be willful.  Research is being done to see if it is not a personality disorder, but a mental illness with actual differences in the brain that at this time cannot be cured.

     

    So now that sanity will be restored in the USA government, I feel more hopeful that there will be an end to this pandemic at some point.  I pray.  I am also relieved that we all get to experience justice (I hope) and that bad guys don’t always win even if they insist they do.  Children need to see that.  I need to see that.


     This had me dancing in my living room.





    This is only right for Mr. Law and Order.

     

     

    If you leave a comment and don’t have an account with Blogger, please include your name in the comment, so I know who you are.  Otherwise you are named ‘Unknown’ and I end up wondering.

     

     


    Much love to CGG-M ❤💕❤

    Mindy Matijasevic, Nov. 8, 2020


  6.  




    My friend Mindy Levokove, a woman of many talents, shared her Roof Dance with me.  Like her poetry and her singing, it feels meditative.  Enjoy.




    https://youtu.be/0xgXZhCdhLk

     

     

    I heard from a former student on Facebook.  I had wished her a happy birthday and she responded:

    Student:  Thank you ❤️ how are you?  i miss you

    Me:  You know Brian and the new boss tossed me and other loved staff. They like the one you hated. Isn't that something? 

    Student:  Uhhhhh i know they need to get there shit together over there lol

     

     

    I heard the orange one on TV saying if he loses, politics will be very boring.  I sure welcome boring if it means sanity.  I don’t need caged children/ruined lives for excitement.  Life provides enough uncertainty and excitement.

     

    I did my early voting.  I was concerned about many things, but it was so well organized and well-staffed, I was delighted.  I received a pen, a bracelet, and the sticker.  Now I pray we get a president.  I am proud of how New York is handling voting.  I am super proud of New Yorkers for voting.

     

     

     

     

    White supremacists aside, gay men have declared they are the Proud Boys, so to make things clear:

     



     

     

     

     


    Love to CGG-M ❤❤❤

    Mindy Matijasevic   10/30/2020


  7. Sequels: The Stabbing; The Laptop

    Monday, October 19, 2020







    My faithful readers, you might be interested in a follow-up to the last two blog entries.  If you didn’t have a chance to read them:  

    http://www.shesofunny.org/2020/10/in-and-out-of-funkville.html

    http://www.shesofunny.org/2020/10/will-secret-angel-please-stand-up.html

     

    The woman who stabbed her boyfriend to death in my neighborhood:  I was told it was an abusive relationship, and I wrote that I didn’t know who the abuser was.  Well, here’s the update.  He had been the abuser.  The woman dragged his body out of the building and screamed for people to call the police.  She screamed that she killed him.  She was totally traumatized.  She still had her kitchen knife in her bloody hands.  She handed the knife to the police.  Guilty people don’t act like that; traumatized people do.

     

    Her neighbors stepped up and spoke to Daily News reporters.  They said she tried to get rid of him, but he wouldn’t go.  He’d humiliate her in public and declared she was going to be with him or no one.  I hope so much that the neighbors step up in court.  When someone decides you are their property, you are living in danger.  They heard her screaming, “Leave me alone!”  To me, it sounds like one of them was going to die.  I lost no sleep that it was the abuser who died.  She handed the knife to the police.  She was not hiding.  She was horrified that she killed him.  My feeling is that she just needed to save her own life and grabbed a kitchen knife.  It’s not like she was armed with a switchblade in advance or anything.  I pray she doesn’t get imprisoned for saving her own life. 🙇

     

    As a former co-worker (a traditional older man from Puerto Rico) once told me, when I shared what my situation was at that time, “When a woman wants you to leave, you have to leave. Otherwise that is no good. That is going to get very bad.” 

     

    So true.

     

     

    Now about my secret angel and the laptop:  Yesterday, I remembered that many months ago (maybe before the pandemic) a friend from the writing community told me that a friend of his was getting rid of a laptop with a webcam in it and asked if I’d want it.  I had said YES!  Then he said it would be a while since the hard drive needed to be wiped clean.  I kind of forgot about it until yesterday.  I wrote him and asked if he was the secret angel.  He wrote back, “Guilty as charged.”  He said when he read my blogs that still said I had no webcam, he assumed someone took the package since that goes on where he lives too.  He said he didn’t want to ask me if I received it because he didn’t want me to feel bad if it had been stolen. ðŸ’™  He never imagined the box was sitting in my foyer for a few months.  Most people would not imagine what a procrastinator I can be.  It’s not a great way to live.  My secret angel requested to stay anonymous.  So I’m not naming him.  I just hope the goodness he puts out into the world comes back to him.  He deserves it.  💜

     

    As a kid, I used to love the Nancy Drew books.  This would’ve been called, “The Mystery of the Laptop.”  And this mystery is solved.  My buddy/best friend/unofficially adopted brother is going to try to get it all set up for me this week sometime. ðŸ’š This means I will be able to be part of zoom open comedy mics, the poetry workshop folks will see and hear me like I see and hear them, and maybe I can do auditions again (if I know how to do it on a webcam).  I’m entering this century little by little.

     

    Thanks, all of you, for your interest.  I appreciate you. 😊



    Much love always to CGG-M ❤❤❤

    Mindy Matijasevic   Oct. 2020


  8. Will the Secret Angel Please Stand Up

    Friday, October 16, 2020


     







    I feel there are angels on Earth.  They usually don’t make front page news as the devils do.  I would love for a particular angel to reveal her/himself to me.

     


     

    Several months ago, when I returned home from the store, a big box was in front of my door.  I hadn’t bought anything, so I thought it might be meant for a neighbor.  I checked and it had my name on it.  No return address.  It was delivered by Amazon Prime.  On the outside of the box, it said, “lithium batteries.”  I was puzzled because the box was so large.

     

    I then thought that maybe the landlord sent lithium batteries for the smoke alarm or something.  I let the box sit in my foyer for a few months.  Usually my buddy helps me with things like this, but I hadn’t had him or anyone in my house since the pandemic took over.  Since I thought it was batteries, it didn’t take a high priority for me.  Life went on with more immediate problems and issues, so I tended to forget about the box.

     

    Yesterday (Thursday), my buddy was going to come over to help me with something else more pressing, and then I was going to go to his house to help him with something I had more patience with than he.  I remembered the box and asked him for his help with that also since he was in my apartment anyway.  He, too, wondered why a big box said “lithium batteries.”  He opened it, and surprise surprise, it was a brand new laptop including lithium batteries.  He said it might be a rebuilt laptop but it looked brand new.  There was no indication of who sent it.

     

    I know in my blogs I have mentioned how acting gigs have been asking for videos in place of in-person auditions, and how that meant no auditions for me since I don’t have all that fancy technology.  Some might call me a dinosaur.  It has more to do with lack of finances than with being a dinosaur.  I’ve also mentioned that when I attend a zoom event, I can see and hear everyone, but since I don’t have a webcam or mic, I can only use the chat box.  So I am thinking it may have been sent from someone who reads my blog.

     

    My buddy and I were wearing masks in the apartment which was uncomfortable, and we still had to get to his house to do what he needed done, so we put everything back in the box.  He will set it up for me in the near future.  He told me it has a webcam.  This is exciting.  However, it does mean I will have to be dressed and looking somewhat decent when I attend a zoom event.

     

    This is no small gift.  I really want to know who sent it to me.  Several angels came to mind.  But it is very puzzling that the person didn’t ask me if I received it.  It was left by my door.  I am lucky my immediate neighbors on my floor are honest people.  But anyone else could have taken it, and I’d never know since I wasn’t expecting a package.

     

    I’m so moved by so many who have helped me out since I lost my job and have been scraping by.  But this feels enormous.  Let me know who you are.  Please.  And THANK YOU!

     

     

    Love to CGG-M always.  ❤❤❤

     

     

    Mindy Matijasevic  

    10/16/2020

     


  9. In and Out of Funkville

    Sunday, October 11, 2020

     








    I thank God/dess for the people in my life who, from time to time, pull me out of my funk.  A writer friend hired me to proofread a grant application for her.  When I finally did the work, I actually felt productive and useful.  It’s been a while since I felt that way.

     

    Over a week ago, I spilled some wine and fucked up my keyboard.  I couldn’t even type in my password to get on the computer, never mind get on-line.  My buddy loaned me a keyboard and told me how to connect it to my computer.  So I’m back in business.  However, when it all happened, I couldn’t participate in the weekly poetry workshop that is often a highlight of my week.  I was able to return the following week.  It makes such a difference for me.  The interaction with the others has become so necessary, even if it is only on-line.  Even without a webcam or mic, I can see and hear the others, plus I can write in the chat box.

     

    A friend from high school sent me a monetary gift.  The generosity and love – wow.  I can keep my utilities going (including internet, cable, and phone).  Thank you, Susy. 💛

     

    My friend Mindy Levokove and I are going to meet this week so she can record me reading 15 – 20 minutes of my poetry.  She is going to have two more poets as well and present it as a poetry reading on line.  I am glad to be part of that.  We will do this outdoors, so we are not breathing at each other.  This will be my first train ride in many months.  I hope no craziness breaks out.  Since birth, I have had way too much craziness in my life.

     

    As I continue to declutter my apartment, I find so many more piles.  It is so overwhelming.  I live in a one-bedroom apartment, and I don’t know how I ever fit so much shit in here.  Goodness!  It is such a mirror image of the heavy piles inside me.

     

    Tonight I went to the store.  The corner was blocked by police tape.  There was a patrol car on the sidewalk, lights flashing.  I asked the store worker what happened.  Apparently a woman stabbed her boyfriend to death.  Someone else told me it had been an abusive relationship.  Without more info, I don’t know which one was the abuser.  I do know many people have a worse situation than I.  Again, I felt grateful that I (with the help of Divine intervention) have stayed away from romantic involvements.  It doesn’t feel worth it to me.  Plus I watch a lot of “Dateline.” I feel horrified at people without a conscience and a great sense of relief that I don’t date anymore. 

     

    Another of my pandemic poems has been published on line by Highland Park Poetry.  https://www.facebook.com/highlandparkpoetry/   It is the October 10th daily poem.

     

    Regarding the VP debate:

     



     

     

     

    Much love to CGG-M 💕💕



    Mindy Matijasevic