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  1. Talk To Strangers? by Rhonda Hansome

    Thursday, December 17, 2015

    I spend a lot of time, make that TOO MUCH time on social media. (BTW, look for me now on Periscope) So every few months I find myself sharing or re-posting an article that has no basis in reality thanks to the efforts of publications like:


    So I wasn't going to fall for this Huff Post headline.

    But USA Today,, New York Post and numerous foreign sources also reported Ehsan Abdulaziz testified that:

    He then stumbled directly onto her, saying his hand may have had his semen on it from the previous encounter or that he may have transmitted the semen from his still partially erect penis, reports say. 
    "I’m fragile," he said, per the Telegraph. "I fell down but nothing ever happened, between me and this girl. Nothing ever happened."
    Accusations of rape are always dicey for the victim, who can have (his/her) veracity, personality, dress, social media posts and alcohol consumption called into question, dragged through the mud and used against (her/his) righteous demand for justice.
    I don't know which part of the article intrigued me the most. 
    After having sex with the victim's friend, Eshan didn't wash his hands (Ewww!) or put his penis back in his underwear (Whoa!) before seeking the "well being" of the sleeping victim.
    Eshan saying he's fragile. (Don't make me laugh!)
    The comments section which included the following exchange:
    Angelica Booker ·
    ... This is ridiculous. I feel so bad for that girl. I mean, she shouldn't have gone home with some strange guy, but she didn't deserve to be raped. I can't imagine what that jury was thinking. Is the defense "I slipped and fell and somehow wound up inside of her" honestly good enough to cause doubt? Really?!

    Ashley Pomper · Regional Chapter and Specal Interest Group Liaison at Association Innovation & Management, Inc."I mean, she shouldn't have gone home with some strange guy, but.." ...this matters, why?
    Without negating the horror of physical assault, psychic violation and (almost certain) character rape in court; based on my own experience, I agree with the caveat 
    "Do not go home with strangers."
    I was 18 and years AND older, still putting my trust and safety in the hands of those I'd met casually. Life is a daily adventure of discovery and exploration. Don't think I've not heard the siren call of the forbidden and persons unknown. Be advised, I am thankful every day I'm alive to tell the tale.
    These statistics from RAINN  (Rape Abuse Incest National Network speak volumes:
    Approximately 4/5 of rapes were committed by someone known to the victim.1
    82% of sexual assaults were perpetrated by a non-stranger.1
    47% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance.1
    25% are an intimate.1
    5% are a relative.1

    These are the numbers from non-strangers; relatives, family, friends and work associates. What are the chances strangers will be more considerate of your welfare?  Don't bet on it!
    I hurt every time I read of rape. I hurt for the victim and the victim's family. I hurt every time I read of false rape allegations but will postpone the discussion of numerous lynching deaths and innumerable incarcerations based on rape lies. 
    Teach our children not to rape. 
    Teach our children to value themselves.
    Said, "Please don't talk to strangers, baby"
    But she always do
    She say, "I'll talk to strangers if I want to
    'Cause I'm a stranger, too"

     Randy Newman - Have You Seen My Baby? Lyrics 
    Rhonda is an actress and director. See her stand-up this week: 
    Thursday Dec. 17 - 7:30 PM

     Saturday Dec. 19 - 6 PM

                                                      Sunday Dec. 20 4 PM

                                                    Sunday Dec. 20 8 PM

  2. 11 comments:

    1. Yes, I often am aware and grateful that I am lucky to be here to tell my stories too.

    2. RHC said...

      Yes thanks Mindy. Some people act like cautioning common sense is out of bounds.

    3. It can border on blaming the person who wasn't the criminal. Sometimes young, love-starved, all kinds of reasons, but none of it deserves to be violated. But you didn't speak from a condescending point of view.

    4. RHC said...

      Correct it is not to judge. Only to caution fore thought in consideration of self preservation/protection. We only control our own actions. Knowing what could certainly (or even possibly) protect me in a given situation & not taking that action is on me.

    5. well you go farther than I. a rape is on the rapist. rape occurs at all hours and locations to all kinds of people. as a therapist once said, "even if you consent, undress, and then change your mind, if that is violated, it is rape."

    6. saw a great shirt here:

    7. RHC said...

      Yes Mindy! That shirt should be a stocking stuffer for all!

    8. Unknown said...
      This comment has been removed by the author.
    9. Unknown said...

      I, too, will testify that I am exceedingly grateful to be here, despite my days of answering "the siren call of the forbidden and unknown persons!"
      And while rape and sexual assault of any kind is NEVER "justifiable", you are correct, Rhonda, that any situation I find myself in that compromises my safety, is on me, and caution is ALWAYS my friend!

    10. RHC said...

      Thank you for responding Gaynelle. I truly appreciate your candor here. Look out for your #1 star player!

    11. RHC said...
      This comment has been removed by the author.

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