Part of generating material is having
adventures. I can't sit in a vacuum and write jokes. Winter is a
time when I get stale and I need to get out there and get the juices
flowing.
I know the perfect place for this!
Daytona Bike Week! It is timed to get all us bike-starved riders down
to sunny Florida so we can get in some real riding. The organizers
are well aware that most of us haven't ridden, or haven’t ridden
much, and we're dying to burn rubber!
Right here is a good spot to let you
know I don't have my own bike. I ride on the back, where its FUN.
If I had my own bike, I'd probably be pushing up daisies by now. I
just feel I'm a little too spastic to ride a motorcycle here in New
York. Maybe I'll get my own bike when I retire to some place with a
slightly lower rage-factor.
My first Daytona was in 2003. The
Super and I were only dating. The first day, we got caught in the
rain. We pulled up to a t-shirt stall. Two t-shirts for $25.00.
The biker woman with the t-shirts says to me “I'll measure your old
man, and make sure he gets a good fit.” (We're talking cheap
t-shirts here folks.) I said “What about me?” She waves her hand
at me dismissively. “You're an extra-large.” My husband
certainly has a way with the ladies! I brought up the outstanding
level of service he received. He replied that next he would be
buying pants.
The next day we met a lovely (lovely =
buzzed) Danish couple at the pool at our hotel. We were talking
about all the great activities of bike week when the subject of
cole-slaw wrestling came up. Yes, gals, they have cole-slaw
wrestling! At a place called the Cabbage Patch you can live your
childhood dream of wrestling another woman in a vat of shredded
cabbage. Pinch me! It turns out the Danish woman had done it (did I
say they were buzzed?). But it was her husband who provided this
informative tidbit - “She was finding coleslaw all over, for weeks,
no matter how many showers she took. For weeks.” Ick.
Oh there's so much to do and see in Daytona!
It was at Bike Week that I found out about Doggles. Yes, Doggles. I
thought I could handle the Doggles. I thought, cool, Doggles.
Goggles for your dog. I can handle that. But I can't! I. CAN'T.
HANDLE. THE. DOGGLES. Ever since I saw the Doggles, I have this
vision of Bailey with Doggles, a leather helmet and of course, a long
white silk scarf. Why is Bailey dressed like that? Because I'm
taking him around Daytona in a big side car. That's why. This is my
fantasy and I blame it entirely on Doggles. Doggles. Goggles for
your dog. If any bikers are reading this they're thinking yeah, OK a
sidecar, but what bike? That's the sixty-four thousand dollar
question! I'd have to say I'm leaning toward Triumph. They've got
the best road clothes and besides that, Fonzie rode one.
I was at Bike Week the first time I saw
a Smart Car. I thought they were centerpieces for the buffet table.
I brought one home.
And it was at Bike Week that I saw a
seventy year old woman with a shaved hooch walking up and down the
parking lot with nothing under her white leather chaps except her
white leather hoo-ha.
Down by Daytona Speedway is where most
of the demo rides take place. Demo rides are a fun way to
accidentally spend fifteen or twenty grand. When we test drove the
Honda VTX 1300, six months later it was in our garage.
Another time Honda did a demo ride with
Goldwings and some little 250 scooter. By the time we got to pick
our bike, all the Goldwings were taken. We hopped on this little
scooter and went on the ride. They took us on the highway. We
couldn't break 45 MPH. We were way over the weight capacity on that
poor little scooter! We where the laughing stock of International
Speedway Boulevard. Finally the demo ride escort gave us his 650
scooter so we could get keep up with everybody else. Later we were
telling a couple of people about it and they said “Oh we saw you!”
Because I'm cool, that's why.
Of course the main attraction at any
Bike Week anywhere is always the riding. That's what the Super and I
are there to do. We put in a lot of miles and we love every minute
of it. There's a ride called the Loop that takes you through a
secluded wooded area. The tree branches cross overhead with
beautiful Spanish moss hanging down. Spanish moss is probably my
favorite thing about the south (after deep-fried everything). It makes everything look dreamy and
surreal. Riding through that winding loop sometimes you can catch a
large white bird. It is tall and thin and I think its a crane. He
stands so still in the water I'm never sure if he's real or not.
A1A is great riding too. For long
stretches you can see the beautiful white sand beaches. The water is
so blue it is incredible. It is hard to believe this blue water is
the same dark green ocean we have at our beaches. The color
combination is incredible. I love the beach. I have yet to go
swimming here. It never seems to be warm enough. But I bring my
bathing suit every year, because I'm an optimist!
Each year we make new friends, even if
its just for the week. And even though there are thousands of people
at Daytona Bike week, sometimes we even run into people we've met
there before. No one recognizes you by your name in Daytona. You
mention your name, and they try to place you...it doesn't come to
mind. Here it comes: “What do you ride?” “A Harley FatBoy
Lo.” “OH! I remember you! That's a pretty bike. That's a
pretty bike!”
"her white leather hoo-ha." Ha Ha! BTW I use to love coleslaw until I read this...
Sadly, I'd even be too spastic to be a passenger... Fun read! ~S
Ha ha ha, thanks for reading ladies!
The super is also funny. I liked his pants remark. I had one motorcycle adventure in my life, and it felt like enough for me. You have the courage and passion for this. I don't think I do. So I count on you for the stories. :-) Love the picture of the beach and your bathing suit
optimism.
Thanks Mindy! Riding in the back - a lot depends on the rider. If the person is experienced and cautious it is a much better experience than riding on the back with a dare-devil!
I can recall times as one woman i might always get so depressed during holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Lord knows especially Valentine’s Day! But it wasn’t until i actually began to hunt the Lord about my true condition because I knew this was no natural battle i used to be fighting but clearly this was spiritual warfare. it absolutely was almost as if my moods would change in an instance.
wrestling