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  1. Daytona Bike Week!

    Saturday, March 2, 2013

    By Lisa Harmon

    Part of generating material is having adventures. I can't sit in a vacuum and write jokes. Winter is a time when I get stale and I need to get out there and get the juices flowing.

    I know the perfect place for this! Daytona Bike Week! It is timed to get all us bike-starved riders down to sunny Florida so we can get in some real riding. The organizers are well aware that most of us haven't ridden, or haven’t ridden much, and we're dying to burn rubber!

    Right here is a good spot to let you know I don't have my own bike. I ride on the back, where its FUN. If I had my own bike, I'd probably be pushing up daisies by now. I just feel I'm a little too spastic to ride a motorcycle here in New York. Maybe I'll get my own bike when I retire to some place with a slightly lower rage-factor.

    My first Daytona was in 2003. The Super and I were only dating. The first day, we got caught in the rain. We pulled up to a t-shirt stall. Two t-shirts for $25.00. The biker woman with the t-shirts says to me “I'll measure your old man, and make sure he gets a good fit.” (We're talking cheap t-shirts here folks.) I said “What about me?” She waves her hand at me dismissively. “You're an extra-large.” My husband certainly has a way with the ladies! I brought up the outstanding level of service he received. He replied that next he would be buying pants.

    The next day we met a lovely (lovely = buzzed) Danish couple at the pool at our hotel. We were talking about all the great activities of bike week when the subject of cole-slaw wrestling came up. Yes, gals, they have cole-slaw wrestling! At a place called the Cabbage Patch you can live your childhood dream of wrestling another woman in a vat of shredded cabbage. Pinch me! It turns out the Danish woman had done it (did I say they were buzzed?). But it was her husband who provided this informative tidbit - “She was finding coleslaw all over, for weeks, no matter how many showers she took. For weeks.” Ick.

    Oh there's so much to do and see in Daytona! It was at Bike Week that I found out about Doggles. Yes, Doggles. I thought I could handle the Doggles. I thought, cool, Doggles. Goggles for your dog. I can handle that. But I can't! I. CAN'T. HANDLE. THE. DOGGLES. Ever since I saw the Doggles, I have this vision of Bailey with Doggles, a leather helmet and of course, a long white silk scarf. Why is Bailey dressed like that? Because I'm taking him around Daytona in a big side car. That's why. This is my fantasy and I blame it entirely on Doggles. Doggles. Goggles for your dog. If any bikers are reading this they're thinking yeah, OK a sidecar, but what bike? That's the sixty-four thousand dollar question! I'd have to say I'm leaning toward Triumph. They've got the best road clothes and besides that, Fonzie rode one.

    I was at Bike Week the first time I saw a Smart Car. I thought they were centerpieces for the buffet table. I brought one home.

    And it was at Bike Week that I saw a seventy year old woman with a shaved hooch walking up and down the parking lot with nothing under her white leather chaps except her white leather hoo-ha.

    Down by Daytona Speedway is where most of the demo rides take place. Demo rides are a fun way to accidentally spend fifteen or twenty grand. When we test drove the Honda VTX 1300, six months later it was in our garage.

    Another time Honda did a demo ride with Goldwings and some little 250 scooter. By the time we got to pick our bike, all the Goldwings were taken. We hopped on this little scooter and went on the ride. They took us on the highway. We couldn't break 45 MPH. We were way over the weight capacity on that poor little scooter! We where the laughing stock of International Speedway Boulevard. Finally the demo ride escort gave us his 650 scooter so we could get keep up with everybody else. Later we were telling a couple of people about it and they said “Oh we saw you!” Because I'm cool, that's why.

    Of course the main attraction at any Bike Week anywhere is always the riding. That's what the Super and I are there to do. We put in a lot of miles and we love every minute of it. There's a ride called the Loop that takes you through a secluded wooded area. The tree branches cross overhead with beautiful Spanish moss hanging down. Spanish moss is probably my favorite thing about the south (after deep-fried everything). It makes everything look dreamy and surreal. Riding through that winding loop sometimes you can catch a large white bird. It is tall and thin and I think its a crane. He stands so still in the water I'm never sure if he's real or not.

    A1A is great riding too. For long stretches you can see the beautiful white sand beaches. The water is so blue it is incredible. It is hard to believe this blue water is the same dark green ocean we have at our beaches. The color combination is incredible. I love the beach. I have yet to go swimming here. It never seems to be warm enough. But I bring my bathing suit every year, because I'm an optimist!

    Each year we make new friends, even if its just for the week. And even though there are thousands of people at Daytona Bike week, sometimes we even run into people we've met there before. No one recognizes you by your name in Daytona. You mention your name, and they try to place doesn't come to mind. Here it comes: “What do you ride?” “A Harley FatBoy Lo.” “OH! I remember you! That's a pretty bike. That's a pretty bike!”

  2. 6 comments:

    1. RHC said...

      "her white leather hoo-ha." Ha Ha! BTW I use to love coleslaw until I read this...

    2. She So Funny said...

      Sadly, I'd even be too spastic to be a passenger... Fun read! ~S

    3. Anonymous said...

      Ha ha ha, thanks for reading ladies!

    4. The super is also funny. I liked his pants remark. I had one motorcycle adventure in my life, and it felt like enough for me. You have the courage and passion for this. I don't think I do. So I count on you for the stories. :-) Love the picture of the beach and your bathing suit

    5. Anonymous said...

      Thanks Mindy! Riding in the back - a lot depends on the rider. If the person is experienced and cautious it is a much better experience than riding on the back with a dare-devil!

    6. Unknown said...

      I can recall times as one woman i might always get so depressed during holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Lord knows especially Valentine’s Day! But it wasn’t until i actually began to hunt the Lord about my true condition because I knew this was no natural battle i used to be fighting but clearly this was spiritual warfare. it absolutely was almost as if my moods would change in an instance.

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