As an actress, I've been on many auditions, but I've only been on one stand-up comedy audition. Of all the things I do outside of teaching for a living, comedy is the newest. The day before the scheduled audition, a tooth broke and that had been one of the teeth my replacement teeth hooked onto. I tried all kinds of adhesives for teeth but this was a more complicated situation. I had heard all kinds of stories about how if you don't show up for something in comedy where you are expected, you are basically done. So I had to go. In acting, the likelihood of seeing someone I know at the audition is small, so if it goes badly, no one else has to know. In comedy, the chance of seeing someone I know is great. If it had been an acting audition, I would have told them the truth and cancelled. Life would go on.
So my choice of looks were using the
replacement teeth and having one dark space instead of a tooth like the altered
advertisements on the subway walls, or not using the replacement teeth and
having the Bugs Bunny look. Either was horrible to me. A co-worker had
suggested I use the situation and ask if there's a dentist in the house. I told
him that I wasn't ready to present myself to the world like that yet, and that
I still considered myself hot and sexy. That's when another co-worker walked by
and only hearing the "hot and sexy" part, said, "Oooooooh, I
see." See how rumors can start right at the Xerox machine?
Another problem was I had been doing
stand-up for only a few years and very spottily due to problems and job
schedules. So I didn't have lots of material. I felt I had to use my original
set because I wasn't as confident about newer stuff I'd written. That original
material does not go well with a woman with missing teeth. I felt like a fool
talking about how there wasn't much difference between me and a woman in her
twenties. I did not have the experience and skill to alter the material to at
least have said something like, "well, except for the pink lungs, flat
stomach, and full set of teeth."
I was so concerned about my lack of teeth showing that I spaced out on the red light. I didn't even register it as for me when it began flashing. Then the host came on stage, and I still finished my set. Then I saw the flashing light and it connected in my brain that I was supposed to have gotten off the stage for a while already. So though I showed up and kept my appointment, I did commit a cardinal sin in the world of stand-up. It wasn't out of nerviness but rather due to nervousness. What a screw-up I was. Plus I hardly got laughs from a tired audience who had just seen a pro show and now had to sit through us.
I went back to my seat next to Lisa
Harmon and Shaun Eli. I was so embarrassed. Lisa was unhappy over her own
audition though her pearly whites were beautiful. Shaun was very kind to me at
that moment. He said something like "We all screw up" or something to
that effect, and it did matter. He made me feel like I hadn't done the worst
thing ever.
We all waited for our moment with
the man who would tell us if we passed or not. If I had been told that I should try
again after getting my teeth fixed, I'd have understood.
If I were told that I didn't honor
the light, and they couldn't take a chance like that in a show, I would have
been unhappy but I would have understood why they felt that way.
Mindy Matijasevic
Mindy,
What a candid and heartfelt story you shared. I applaud you for even auditioning for stand up! What courage you possess. I'm an actress as well in L.A. and I've never done stand up, but I honor those who do. I love watching it, so I'm a loyal audience member. I can do comedy in a play (Neil Simon, etc), but when it comes to stand up; I let the true Lionesses do that.
Thanks for you delightful story of strength and I know your teeth are shining and pearly white! Someday you'll see me in the audience cheering you on.
Happy Creating!
Starra Andrews
Thank you so much for reading and appreciating. Your voice of positivity has me smiling.