A comic invited his comedy friends
to roast him on his birthday. I was on
his list. I am not the roasting
type. I’ve never done it before. And my knowledge of his life is little. I have to really know and really be annoyed with
someone in order to truly roast him. I
do find him funny and good-natured, so I thought about going to just watch and
enjoy the event. Then another comedy friend invited me to join her and another
friend at the roast. So now I was
definitely going.
Up until the day of the roast, I
assumed there'd be lots of people roasting and there'd be a tight
schedule. Then on the day of the roast,
I thought what would I do or say if he saw me and insisted on me going up. I started to get anxious. I didn't want to end up on stage without a
thing to say except, "I wasn't supposed to be up here."
I tried to think in terms of roasting.
It is somewhat foreign to my insides
though I do watch and laugh at the roasts on Comedy Central. I know myself enough to realize I was probably
not going to come up with anything in a matter of hours if it was not coming
from my own need. So I decided to just
look at where I naturally go with the idea of roasting this man. I let myself free associate...
I was late to the roast which really pissed me off because I missed performances of comics I like to watch. I sat with the two women I was to meet. Someone was on stage performing. The roasted was on stage too, sitting on a chair. At some point, I leaned to my friend and said that the birthday man looks good. She agreed and said that he's a good-looking man. Then we both leaned in and, in chorus, said, "It's the dimples." Women and dimples -- it's a thing.
The roasters weren't very
experienced at roasting either, but all were familiar with the birthday man and
did a decent or better than decent job. At some point, I was discovered and
told that I’d be going up. "I don't
roast," I said, "I'm just watching." I was again told I was going up, and again I
said that I don't roast. The next person
introduced was a young man who didn't know until that day that he'd be doing
this, but he embraced the challenge, had a jovial attitude and did what he
could.
I was introduced next. Oh my goodness. Well, here we go.
"Hi I wasn't supposed to be up
here. In every group I am part of, I am the odd one. And even now, when I think of roasting, I
think of chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
I don't really want to insult someone I like. So I’ll show you how I roast a
man." (I should have said “a
good-looking man.”)
I walked away from the mic and
straight to the birthday man. He looked
a bit apprehensive. The audience was oohing. I took a seat on his lap, put my arms around
him, and wrapped a leg around his. He
was very welcoming and totally surprised.
We hugged all snuggly. The
audience, all people who knew the birthday man, giggled and sounded
encouraging. He is a good hugger. I think I at least warmed some nuts.
Awesome, Mindy! And dimples, huh?
lolol. Joanne, I still laugh when I think about the evening. Yes, dimples. I like your dimples too.