She So Funny

This past Tuesday I got to audition for The Comic Strip Live. A very historic venue, where Seinfeld, Murphy, and Rock were discovered and managed. Jimmy Failla, a very funny comic and friend who performs there regularly, told me to come to the club two Tuesdays ago to hang out and meet people. Everything I had ever heard from Marc Maron's WTF podcast came to fruition. I got to chat with the pros, old and new. They told me stories of "back in the day" over whiskey. It was a magical night. I got to meet one of the club's owners, Bob. We talked about SNL and he said to me "You know who Eddie Murphy is? Yeah? I produced all of his albums and managed him from when he was unknown." After which, I shat. Then he asked me to audition the following week, which I did. After shatting a little more. I was terrified. But I have taken on a philosophy that has really helped me not want to kill myself after a bad set: As long as I don't trip and fall on stage, I did good. Low expectations. Works really well for my anxiety driven, sometimes self-hating psyche.

I arrived at the club around 9:30, checked in with the booker and was told I was going to go on in 5 minutes. Completely not expecting that at all. Definitely thought I'd have at least an hour of hang time to pace back and forth. Totally wanted to shat my pants but I couldn't because I was wearing a dress. Have you ever had a moment where you thought you were going to die from something that you definitely could never die from? It was like that a little. As I was in the green room peaking through the door into the theater, waiting for the MC  to intro me, Jimmy and a bunch of other pros who could do a 15 minute set in their sleep and kill, kept saying "Krystyna look, you're gonna be fine. I think you're gonna be ok. Just breathe. Calm down. Whats the worst that could happen? Don't suck. Its ok, you're gonna be fine. Seriously though, don't blow it."




Aside from both my hands shaking like I was on a coke binge, and not being able to see the red light, the 5 minutes (that was probably 7) went well. I didn't trip and I got great feedback. And then I drank a lot of whiskey.

Later, I got to hang out down in the basement area where all the comics dwelled on Fridays and Saturdays after their sets... since 1985. I felt like I was touring the SNL studios. It was so nostalgic, even though I had never been there before. They had a lot of De La Vega art hanging, like this cardboard dude below. IT WAS GRAND.