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  1. Runaway Runway

    Tuesday, August 7, 2012

    Fashion is not necessarily my forte. I wear a lot of jeans and t-shirts. I don’t even wear a lot of different colors either -too much to think about. Plus, I like to think of it as my way of supporting the color blind. Nonetheless, fashion is not something of which I am at the forefront. I do however, know bad fashion when I see it. And believe me, I’ve seen it. We all have. Sadly in many cases, we have chosen to turn the other cheek and wait for it to simply “go away”, or even decided that we just didn’t understand it and hope for the same. Either way or in fact, no matter what, it will live on. The internet is a non-forgiving world.


    When I was very young, my sister’s would sport these atrocities. I laughed, but due to the evil rule of the hand-me-down, I eventually got my “own” pair and cried. Unfortunately, the fate of the youngest is to essentially be the last one in history to wear certain fashions. That was my cross to bear. But now back to the aforementioned menace to society. Gauchos were obviously invented to make women rethink their thighs.

    Yes, if you ever questioned the width of your upper legs, there is nothing like adding a belling flare to your clothing to accentuate them. If that wasn’t bad enough, they could also give you a bit of a “home on the range" look to boot- pun intended.

    So “Thunder Thighs of the West" was apparently our theme at the time of their reign.

    Keep your dogs close, ladies. In fact, you can probably keep them in your pants with you.

    Leg Warmers

    What started out as a necessity, eventually evolved into a fashion freak show. Leg warmers were originally worn for honest to goodness real reasons. Dancers needed them to keep their muscles warm, but we took their needs and twisted them around for our own personal gain. And by gain, I mean thicken, as these little woolen goodies would now bring a little heft to your lower legs. Sure, we tried to pretend we used them for other athletic endeavors. Aerobics, Jazzercise- any excuse to break them out.

    But soon we brought them out of the gym and onto the streets. Need some excitement for your latest dungarees or skirty outfit? Pull them suckers on! Add some stripes or neon and voila! ridiculous. Keeping your legs warm can be achieved by a much lesser abuse of fabric. Try pants. Or indoors.

    Now of course, these are only my opinions. In fact, some of these fashions have even made a comeback. I am noticing this as I browse the internet for old pictures and am being inundated with current ones. But coming from someone who doesn’t have the fashion sense to get out of the fashion rain, I wouldn’t blame you for dashing out and getting yourself some of the “haute couture”. Just don’t come running to me when you get mocked. Honestly, running in gauchos and leg warmers sounds like a recipe for a 3-alarm fire anyway. Talk about haute.

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