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  1. Putting the "It's OK!" in Addiction

    Friday, July 20, 2012

    A surprisingly large percentage of the population suffers from drug addiction, sex addiction, or addiction to stealing underwear from the Victoria Secret at the mall (let's be honest, that's not hard to do).

    I... Am addicted to Popsecret Homestyle Popcorn. No, seriously I am addicted. I average about a bag a day for the last 8ish years. It's terrible and I feel the need to write a blog entry about it. Popsecret Homestyle popcorn is the light of my life. It makes any bad day into popcorn time. "It TASTES SO FREAKING GOOD..." is the sentence I utter every single time I eat it. I carry a bag in my purse in case I sleep over someone else's house, I keep a bag in my desk at work, and I light up every time I turn the corner of the popcorn aisle and I see that they have Homestyle flavor.

     It's the perfect combination of butter and salt. A beautiful long lasting marriage of corn kernels and magic. And if you try to pull one of those "Um, like, Krystyna... Like, popcorn is like so bad for your stomach it's like, really not good to eat that much," I will tell you to shove your comments about what I should and shouldn't do up your ass.

    For Christmas, my boyfriend got me the most beautiful vintage coat, vintage hats, Darrel Hammond's book... And a suitcase. Filled. With 6-PACK boxes. Of. Popsecret. Homestyle. Popcorn. I cried when I opened it.

    The point is... Popsecret Homestyle Popcorn is all I have when I'm feeling depressed/ugly/not funny/broke/anxious. It's been there for me since my teens.

    Lorne Michaels actually has his assistants pop him fresh popcorn every day when he is working at SNL, so maybe popcorn enthusiasm, as I like to call it, is indicative of comic genius. I'd like to think so.

    Charlie Sheen is addicted to tiger blood.
    Robert Palmer is addicted to love.
    I'm addicted to Popsecret Homestyle Popcorn.

    Sadder things have happened. Life goes on.


    ^That would be a photo taken of my pantry in my apartment.
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  2. 1 comments:

    1. Lady Ha Ha said...

      I snorted out loud reading this in summer school

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