She So Funny

 

A few days back, I received an email inviting me to submit poems for the anthology they put out yearly.  The deadline is June 11^th.  Normally I’d probably be scrambling on June 10^th, but I was busy procrastinating doing something else that was due immediately, so I sent my poems.  The person wrote back thanking me for my promptness.  I had to chuckle.  Meanwhile, I had allowed something else get to a point of almost missing out on something important.  How you see me really depends on how, where, and when we meet.

 

A friend from when I was 15-16 years old, a senior in high school, who I have been lucky to reconnect with in the last decade or more, ordered several of my ‘divorce’ t-shirts, and then instead of just paying for the shirts, sent more than double the bill.  I shake my head even as I read what I just wrote.  I was raised to not feel very deserving.  Experiences like this thankfully interfere with my brain’s wiring or something.  Mainly I find myself shaking my head in disbelief.  I thank God/dess for the angels on Earth.  I don’t yet have words for how deep this goes for me.  On a practical note, it means my phone is still in service.

 

One of the craziest things I’ve read lately:

https://bronx.news12.com/private-florida-school-won-t-employ-vaccinated-teachers

 

Like the crazy man whose orange ass occupied the White House, they seem to think “medical freedom” means you have the right to make others sick and to discriminate against sane people. 

 

In my life, I have often felt like Marilyn in “The Munsters.”  When a malignant narcissist is in a position of power, the entire country becomes sick.  Good is bad, and up is down.  The people who actually care about others are seen as the problem.  (At a former job, “nice” and “sincere” were used as insults, so what made me a hit with students caused conflict among some staff.)  It happens in unhealthy families, in unhealthy job settings, and now on a much larger scale.  To all the Marilyns out there, I appreciate you.

 

 

 

So much love always to CGG-M ❤❤❤

 

Mindy Matijasevic 

4/2021

In recent months, I have been having so many vivid dreams. Some are very disturbing, so I’m glad my subconscious is dealing with things while I sleep. I have enough stuff in my awake time to keep me concerned. 

Much love to CGG-M ❤❤❤

Mindy Matijasevic 4/2021

I learned that a woman working construction in the Bronx (City Island) was murdered by a man who brought her food and wanted to have a ‘relationship’ with her other than friendship. She was 52 years old. He was 66. I guess he never learned to handle rejection or understand that murder is not foreplay. Makes me wonder how many others he killed. She couldn’t have been the first person to tell him no. All this woman did was introduce him to her boyfriend. I admit that this tragedy just made me feel more convinced that it is never safe. The woman was 52! She was wearing her hard hat. It was daytime. But she had the nerve to not be available. She must’ve thought she was a person or something. Punishable by death. The murderer was caught. The woman’s actual boyfriend was nearby and chased him down, and a friend joined in the chase. They held him for the police. All that is good. It would be worse if he got away. But she’s dead. At 52. For believing she has the fuckin’ right to say no.

 

I have an appointment for tomorrow, Tuesday, 4/6, for my first shot.  I’m nervous.  Everyone has such different reactions to the first and second shots.  The location is not near me or easy to get to by public transportation.  My best friend has a dental appointment that day.  I still hope to figure out how he can help me since our appointments are two hours apart, and he drives.  …  But it’s not looking good.

…

In the past two weeks, I have been mistaken for a man several times.  I was called “Sir” earlier by a man trying to get people to come to his church.  I didn’t accept his pamphlet and didn’t tell him I’m a woman.  I just shook my head no and kept walking.  It seems to happen when I don’t wear make-up or earrings and do have my hood up.  Then the mask covers half my face.  I guess it doesn’t take much.  Don’t even have to whip it out and pee in the street.

…

In the last blog, I mentioned having a lung scan.  I’ve since received the results.  So far, okay.  Whew.  Getting the results is the hardest part for me.

 

I do have indications on my lungs of past issues.  In the second half of 2019, I had Legionnaire’s.  Then in the spring of 2020, I had a mild case of COVID.  I now have breathing issues, of course made worse by smoking.  I have a ways to go to get okay again.

…

I’ve had so many vivid dreams in the past months.  Last night, it was a young man, maskless, coming over to me to sit and talk.  I didn’t know him.  I was flailing my arms and telling him, “No! I didn’t get my vaccination yet.”

…

 

You like?

 

 

I have extra-large.  If interested for you or as a gift, contact me at mindyinthebronx@gmail.com and put “T-shirt” in the subject line.

 

 

 

 

Much love to CGG-M ❤❤❤

 

Mindy Matijasevic

 

One of my regular readers once told me he feels like he knows Mustache, my feline friend who lives in a discount store on 198^th Street, from my many mentions of her in this blog.  He asked if I had pictures.  I didn’t.  I took a few since then but she was moving, so they are a bit blurry.  This is the girl who loves me.

 

 

I confess that in all this time, I have not worked consistently on comedy writing.  I’m sporadic with that.  I’ve kept up somewhat with poetry and decluttering.  My latest poem:

 

In order to date

ever again

I need

a huge

condom

for

my

heart

 

 

 Mindy Matijasevic

3/15/2021

 

 

In the past month and a half, I had a chest x-ray, an ultrasound on my veins, and a lung scan.  The x-ray was okay-ish.  The veins have no clots at this time.  The lung scan results aren’t in yet.  I have more to go in the medical part of my life.  I hate that whole reality.  I just hate it.

 

On a positive note, I have taken steps with the t-shirt stuff I spoke about in the last blog.  I’m getting excited.

 

If you can spare less than a minute, this is a real feel-good experience.  Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

Love to CGG-M ❤❤❤  

Mindy Matijasevic

 

I hope to soon be presenting to you my t-shirt line.  I have been planning too long and have to make it happen now.  I need to do something.  My friend and former co-worker, Kerstin, suggested I have matching mugs and sell as a set.  I may start with the shirts, but I really like her idea.  The line was inspired when a male told me I was a “selfish bitch.”  I’m so far from either of those things, but when some people don’t get what they want, they default to that view.

 

Previously, a man in a double-parked car once yelled to me asking me the time (as if he couldn’t see the time on his dashboard somewhere).  I told him “I don’t know.”  Then he told me, “Come here.”  I’m sure my face looked like, “Get the fuck outta here.”  I kept walking.  He called me a bitch.  I yelled back, “You’re the bitch.”  A young man seeing this from his window laughed.  I walked more quickly.  That’s when it became so clear to me how people use the word.  Basically, if you don’t do what I say, and you are female, you are a bitch.  I wanted to wear a badge saying: Proud Bitch.  But since the word is interpreted so differently, I won’t wear such a badge.

 

When I was growing up, “bitch” was a term used for a mean woman.  Then I  learned it meant a female dog.  Disturbing.  As an adult, I realized the word had become a synonym for woman.  Grrrr.  I don’t use it that way.  I don’t find it funny when comics call female paying customers “bitches.”  I still use the word for a mean woman.  One who truly earns it.

 

My t-shirts shed a different light, and I hope I get it going very, very soon.  Stay tuned.

 

 

 

Love always to CGG-M  ❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

Mindy Matijasevic

 

The more I watch Dateline, the more I am glad I’m not partnered up with anyone in any kind of romantic situation.  Lordy, Lordy.

 

In terms of the pandemic, I’m not yet vaccinated.  I still don’t hug my friends.  It feels so strange.  When we can hug again, it is going to feel like sex.

 

The positive news I have is I received a beautiful anthology, After the Clouds, the Sun, with two of my poems in it.  My poems are “Living in Peace” and “Rotary Phone.”  http://roguescholars.com/anydswpe/info.html

Then I received a link to the online journal, Home Planet News.  I have four poems in there – “With women and children on the street …,” “Not For Me,” “’Wear a smile’, she said,” and “Hey.” 

https://homeplanetnews.org/8-66MindyMatijasevic.html

I’ve done a significant amount of decluttering and that is always a good thing.  More is waiting for me.  I look forward to the day I am done with that. 

 

In the past month and a half, three people sent me money, two stores extended me credit, and my long-time friend Judy gave me bags of food and household products.  “Food” includes wine.  I can’t even describe how I feel.  Grateful, blessed, and shocked begins it, I guess.

Sometimes I watch youtube videos of things I’ve done to remind myself of things I’ve done.  This one was fun.  A stretch for me, since I was supposed to be a Dominican woman.  I don’t know that I was convincing of that, but my co-actor kept telling me that many American-born Latinas/os don’t speak Spanish well.  The best for me was when the writer was in the audience and told me she thought I did a great job.  The play was about her sister, and she felt I captured that character.  This video is the dress rehearsal, so it wasn’t filled with actual audience.  Still, I enjoyed watching it.  It’s less than ten minutes.

 

 

 

 

Unconditional love to CGG-M!  ❤❤❤

 

Mindy Matijasevic