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  1. Men and Bugs

    Tuesday, August 17, 2021


     




    A few days ago, I awoke due to my bladder.  Opened my eyes and saw a dark moving thing on a box.  It was a water bug.  Before I could scream, the phone rang.  It was my closest friend who is a man and doesn’t share my hysteria.  I gave him a play-by-play as I picked up a fly swatter and smacked the water bug.  It landed on the floor.  It was on its back and struggling to live.  As it moved, I screamed while holding the phone and the swatter, “It’s trying to live!”  I felt so awful as I hit it again.  It shot across the floor near a pile of my poems.  It looked dead.  My friend and I hung up since I had to pee so badly. 

     

    When I returned from the bathroom, I didn’t see the corpse where I left it.  Now I was worried that it was crawling around somewhere.  I put on my sneakers and got dressed.  I decided I had to stomp and let creatures know I am the boss here.  Then I saw that water bug crawling again in my foyer near the bathroom.  I couldn’t believe how strong this thing is after being beaten.  I took a wine bottle and put it on the water bug.  The bottom of the bottle isn’t flat.  It curves up and makes an air bubble.  I then felt awful that the water bug was going to suffocate to death.  But I couldn’t deal with any other way of handling it.

     

    Later, I saw my buddy and updated him on the water bug situation.  He laughed and asked if it will stay under the bottle for a year now.  I said, “No. Just until you come up and get rid of it for me.”  He laughed and said that he will. 

     

    20 seconds and hilarious!








    Love to CGG-M  ❤❤❤

    Mindy Matijasevic

    August 2021


  2. 4 comments:

    1. I have to confess I laughed out loud several times in the middle of your story - I really think this is a standup piece with blow by blow. Personally, I could never handle knowing a water bug was under my wine bottle - I’d have to get him - notice I said HIM - out of my place ASAP! Thanks for this laugh . - I really needed it!

    2. lolol I'm glad it made you laugh, and I'm glad it's not able to crawl around my apartment.

    3. funny as hell. Hate those critters!

    4. Melinda said...

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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