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    Hi all.  Have I mentioned that I am a terrible procrastinator?  I allow things to become a heavy weight on me.  One recent example is my taxes.  Each year in recent times, I get a refund.  This is a good thing.  I need the refund badly.  Each year, I tell myself not to procrastinate next year since it means money for me.  And yet I do.  This year, I expected to do it in February, but I didn’t.  March went by.  Then April.  They extended the deadline until May 17th.  I did it on May 12th.  It could’ve been way worse.  After I did it, it felt like a weight was lifted off of me.  I thought about why I let it get to that point.  I think feeling weighed down is the norm for me.  Awful thing to continue.  Whenever I think about the taxes being done, I sigh with relief.  I can’t wait for the refund.  I have to admit that there is something else I am procrastinating about which may be what made doing the taxes seem approachable.  I’m a trip in many ways.


     

    After I get my refund, my next t-shirt is coming out!


     

    In my decluttering, I found some comedy notes I’d written and forgotten about.  They made me laugh.  I’m too often gloomy.  Knowing that in my misery, I am still funny, feels very good.


     

    My dreams lately have continued to be very dramatic – a man calling me telling me it’s a matter of life and death, another where a man who had a crush on me and me on him (in real life) had a hugging interaction (in the dream), but I was concerned about COVID and asked him if he’s been vaccinated.  I don’t remember him answering but we hugged and so did our bodies.  Lordy Lordy.  Dreams like that make me think maybe I haven’t totally closed up shop.  Not sure.


     

    In real life, I haven’t hugged my close friends or anyone since the pandemic.  I miss hugs.  Especially those with my son.


     

    I was part of a zoom poetry reading tonight hosted by Lucy Aponte.  I am glad for these moments that make me feel I’m still here doing things.  The pandemic, to some degree, solidified my hermit ways.  So interacting with others is a big deal.  The event went very well – mostly Bronx folks.  Everyone’s work was passionate.  My poems were not necessarily on happy topics, but many of them were funny.  Folks were laughing.  It felt so satisfying, like a delicious meal.

     



     

     

     

     

    Love always to CGG-M ❤💜❤


    Mindy Matijasevic, May 2021

     


  2. 7 comments:

    1. I know what I'm working on this weekend. Thanks for inspiring me. :)

    2. Anne, cooking? poetry-writing? taxes?
      What you presented at the reading was very captivating. I think everyone appreciated your piece.

    3. taxes!

      Thank you about that encouragement for the poetry. I've got a lot to say about the world. Gonna keep writing.

      I had such a great time there--all of us were having love fests with each other, from you to the piano poem. I loved how much encouragement Lucy (our moderator) gave to a few folks that had lost loved ones and were able to express themselves in poetry. That was appreciated. It was a safe place.

    4. Lucy Aponte is wonderful. As a Bronxite, I'm glad she's one of us. Good luck with the taxes.

    5. Joe said...

      Many years ago, a friend told me that each thing we leave undone is a constant drain on our energy even when we aren't thinking about it. It didn't immediately change my procrastinating ways, but it did set me on a lifelong drive to change and get things done.

    6. Maria said...

      Hi Mindy! Thank you so much for your humor I always enjoy your poetry and laughter is healing. I had a great time listening to everyone you all took me on different roads visually and emotionally. And Lucy Aponte as always am amazing host. Till next sending you a virtual abrazo.

    7. Joe, thanks for sharing that. It is so true. I hope to improve in that department. I don't need any more of my energy drained.
      Maria, thanks so much for the feedback. It's difficult on zoom to know if folks are laughing. I enjoyed your piece as well. I enjoy your voice and presence in general. Looking forward to more. One day, I hope to cash in on the hug. :-)

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