ATM receipts from 2009, typed comedy sets, a note from a woman who has since passed away asking me to read and write about her son's book in my blog (which I never completed but intend to), grant information from February, rent receipts from 2012, vote-for-me mail from candidates, a new birthday card I bought for my aunt Rosel's January birthday and never sent though I stamped the envelope, packets of salt, packets of pepper, two
dollars in bills, a couple of dollars in change, post office receipt from 2012, Walgreen's receipt for a lipstick, three large binder clips, a Sweet Million lottery ticket from September 10, 2012 (I looked up the results on line just in case, but I only had one of the numbers), 4 pairs of earrings and one lone earring, reminder notes to myself, invoices from the vet from all different times, a used ziplock bag, my cousin's wife's email address, a friend's social security number, a program from a play I was in 3 years ago, jotted down joke-notes, ...
while in my head I feel awful that my darling canine son probably doesn't have long for this world, and it is so hard to imagine life without my darling Luigi, I think about a recent conversation where I was told we unconsciously go for the romantic relationship with the one like our parent who we had the most problems with and with whom we have unfinished business, I feel I am probably better off not in a romantic relationship at all, I feel so hopeful that my grandparents and mother and others who have passed can hear me and know my thoughts and my heart which is quite heavy with things I don't go into here, I laugh at my comedy notes and even found a bit I forgot I wrote which is about getting flowers from a man (the kind of flower-giving that comes with expectations) and it's one of those that I said to my best bud in conversation which cracked us up and then I wrote it down which for me are the funniest, I think about all the people who I never got back to -- cousins, childhood friends, it all feels so hard inside sometimes as it all comes with other stuff that attached to it for me and I feel bad that they probably think I have no feelings when the exact opposite is true, ...
so I try to keep on decluttering, making a bit more room in the apartment and in me while the local news plays in the background. four people's faces slashed at 4am Sunday in the Bronx by a man still at large. it happened on North Street and Jerome Avenue and according to a resident of that area, crime has increased on North Street and they are not aware of any arrests being made so people feel very unsafe. affordable modern apartments are being constructed at the hub for working families living on 30 to 50 thousand a year. wonderful crafts fair over the weekend on City Island. would love to be able to shop at such events, but I'm not in such a bracket. Central American Independence Day Parade on Southern Boulevard. "Walk for Mother Earth" ends with a concert in Riverdale. Ellen Degeneres sent $50,000 and new instruments to P.S.48 in the Bronx that had been burglarized and had all their musical instruments stolen. Obama condemns barbaric murder. American people feel threat of terrorism increasing. In the 70s this week.
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