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    Showing posts with label birthday. Show all posts
    Showing posts with label birthday. Show all posts

  1. Another December

    Sunday, December 25, 2022


     







    On 12/21, I turned a new age.  I went out with two friends who gave me generous gifts, their company, good food, and many drinks.  Maybe because it was a weeknight (no re-routing; no track work), my train trip home was fast and easy. 

     

    Though I bought two boxes of Christmas cards, I never wrote them out or sent them. 

     

    I spent Christmas Eve awake all night watching Forensic Files’ “Twelve Crimes of Christmas.” 

     

    I spent all Christmas Day asleep.  When I went to the store, I was grateful it wasn’t windy.  The freezing temperatures are bad enough.



     

    This year, the last night of Hanukkah is on Christmas night.  So tomorrow, both are behind us.

     

    My holidays did not include any of this:




    or this:




    I remain grateful. 

     




    Much love to CGG-M  ❤❤❤

    Mindy Matijasevic

    Christmas Night 2022

     

    Posted by Mindy Matijasevic at 7:19 PM | Labels: , , , , | 0 comments | |

  2. Thank You to Those Who Brought Happiness

    Tuesday, December 23, 2014


     
     
     
     
    It was my birthday over the weekend.  I go through life with too much heartache, so I am grateful to those who contributed happiness to my day.



    A person who I had spent most of my life feeling close with wrote me a birthday email at about 4am.  It was not our first communication since our estrangement.  It mattered. 

    My buddy Bob had put the day aside for me.  He did me 2 favors in the day while I was doing laundry, and he spared me some stress and saved me a lot of time and energy. 

    In the early evening, Bob and I went down to the Village to meet my friend Judy who I was very glad wanted to join me for my birthday.  We went to the Olive Tree, one of my favorite places.  Then my friend Meghan and her boyfriend Dave joined us for a while.  Meghan and I share the same birthday, different year.  I enjoyed everyone’s company very much.  It was a good time, warm, fun, and funny.

    Then Meghan and Dave went on with their other plans, and Judy, Bob, and I went to a comedy open mic.  Judy and Bob were audience, and I was to get up and use my minutes on stage.  It was the most unprepared I ever was for an open mic plus I was drunk.  The hosts knew it was my birthday, so they made it feel special.  When I got up, I confessed I was very unprepared and raw.  So I told them a little story which turned out to be a lusty confession about a man at that mic, and it wasn’t really comedy at all. 

    The next day, I emailed one of the hosts and told her I hoped I wasn’t an idiot at the mic.  She enjoys how I am and was reassuring.  But what’s she gonna say?

     To my readers, Happy Hanukkah!  Merry Christmas!  Happy Kwanzaa!  Happy Eid!  Happy New Year!  Happy Three Kings Day!
     
     
     
     
     
     
    To my precious son, Happy Birthday!!!
     
     
     
     

    Posted by Mindy Matijasevic at 10:13 AM | Labels: , , | 3 comments | |

  3. On a very cold evening, after work, I resisted temptation to go straight home.  A big part of me was saying oh, you can go to the open mic next week. 
    It's so cold and you are so tired.  You were falling asleep at work.  Practice in front of the mirror.   The other part was saying you know you need to practice your stand-up.  It's been too long, and you have a spot in a show on the 19th.  You can't get up there all rusty.  You gotta get your flow back.  Plus you have new shit to try out.  It all sounds good in your head, but it has to come out of your mouth.  Then the other part was saying you aren't even really prepared for the open mic.  Well, prepare on the train.  No, I'm too tired. 



    I managed to continue walking to the train.  It arrived quickly, I got a seat, and I went to sleep.  Then I had to take a bus.  No seat but a short ride.  Fuckin' freezing out there.  Got to the place, ordered a wine real quick, and got on the list.  Cozy space, good vibes, funny people working on their stuff, and I was content just being there.  Then I'm told I'm next.  So not prepared, I take my paper with me.  It's not an index card with key words but full size paper with everything typed out.  Ugh.  Tried a new bit and a half.  Got a big laugh at one part and silence at another part.  Both surprised me.  I totally forgot to try out the part that needs trying the most since it is a physicalization.  Felt flustered.  Did a not-new bit since most of the people there did not know me.  That part went well.  But I didn't feel comfortable enough with myself to use all my time.  So I'll be practicing more and more and getting out there properly prepared (by that I mean enough for me to feel comfortable).  Until then, here's a shot of me feeling all tentative.

    Photo by Lisa Harmon (the host who takes your picture!)

    I went to a birthday celebration Saturday night that took place in a few different places, one of which was a karaoke bar.  I've never done that and I do not sing well at all.  But I was assured that is what karaoke is for.  I had imagined myself feeling so foolish since I grew up in the era where bad singers belt it out or just lip sync in front of the mirror alone in their room with any object held as a mic.  Now it is a public activity.  But I wanted to be open to new challenges.  It helps with other parts of life.  I once took a belly dancing class which I stunk at, but it probably helped me get through some inhibitions.  As we in comedy know, being willing to risk feeling like an idiot is all part of it.
                       


    As it turned out, the biggest challenge was getting there in the storm.  Luckily for me, my best friend joined me.  There was much more snow out there than I expected.  Just walking the 2 blocks from my apartment to the D train felt so laborious.  I need to not waste my breath on smoking.  It is seeming ridiculous to me at times.  Other times, I still want it badly.  Such an awful thing.  My buddy lives one train stop away, so we met at my station and rode downtown on a cold D train and then switched to the F train.  I felt miserable being cold for so long.  The F train was much more comfortable, but we only needed to be on it for 6 stops.  So just as I warmed up a bit, we were back out there where it had gotten worse.  Pellets of ice were hitting my forehead and aside from making it feel frozen, I was getting a headache.  If it had been like that when I left my house, I might not have gone.  It felt vicious to me.  I was so glad my buddy was with me.  He went to check the next cross street, so we'd know what direction to walk while I waited by a building trying to take cover from the wind.  Suddenly 2 drunk men appeared near me, and one told the other that he can pee there.  Uh, hello.  I walked away.  I was running low on fight.  I needed all I had to just get to the first bar.

    I was hungry and afraid to drink without food.  We were by a Domino's which I never go to but felt the need for something quick and cheap.  We went in, and I learned they don't sell by the slice.  So we had a few seconds of shelter and then went on to the bar.  I found out that they don't have food, so I had to leave to get something.  The hail was still going strong, but thankfully there was a deli right next to the bar.  The bouncer had told me it would be fine to bring food in.  When I returned, the bouncer was telling the bartender that the person had a bag but the vomit went right through the bag.  I thought he was just sharing a story, but indeed this happened when I was in the deli.  So the birthday woman told me not to walk over to the table yet as they were cleaning the floor.  There was stink.  It wasn't anyone from our group.  The birthday woman told me, "I tried to get a bar without the vomit," and we laughed. 

    I enjoyed seeing the birthday woman in this light.  We don't know each other too much outside of our job, so it was great to see her with so much party spirit.  She had a good turnout which says a lot about her relationships because the weather really sucked (in case I didn't get that across).  The birthday cake was delicious, and I'm not typically a fan of birthday cake.  Next was getting to the karaoke bar where she said she got us a room.  My buddy and I laughed and said that we need a room, preferably a rubber one.  As we went out there, the wind was sending rain at our faces.  I was scared of falling.  My buddy let me hold onto him.  The ground was full of slush and deep puddles.  My feet were now wet and freezing.  We all got to the next place soaked on the front of our clothes.  We went down steps in the back and walked a long hallway where there were little rooms with big TV monitors and microphones and books of song titles, besides couches and a table.  After a while in there, I finally felt like I could remove a sweatshirt.  I was finally warm.  I was on my second Long Island Ice Tea and feeling good.  Birthday woman was up and singing and dancing and many of her guests were belting it out.  Nobody seemed to care about good or bad, just fun.  That made for a great atmosphere.  My buddy and I sat down like old tired people and sang from the sofa when our songs came on.  We sometimes didn't know the songs the others played, but they knew the ones we selected (Sly and the Family Stone, Beatles, etc.), so it was a roomful of people singing.  Nobody, from what I could tell, ended up looking or feeling foolish. 


    The final part was supposed to be waffles with ice cream at a diner, but I couldn't stay for that.  My day had started earlier than I had planned (my dog needed to go out early and he licked my hand until I got up which is rare, so I had to listen), and I was tired.  I think I was most tired from battling the weather.  Okay, a little bit from age too.  But I hung in there pretty well.  I got home at 4:10am.

    Posted by Mindy Matijasevic at 12:00 AM | Labels: , , , , | 6 comments | |

  4. DON'T BE A DICK ON YOUR FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY

    Saturday, February 2, 2013

    By Lisa Harmon


    Way back in the 70's I was a little kid growing up in my grandparents' four family house. Two apartments were occupied by family. My Mom had her place and my grandparents had their place. My brother and I stayed in my grandparents apartment. They were retired and both of them were usually home after school.  If not both, then one.  There was always someone home when we got back after school.

    Honestly I can only remember this one time no one was home. When I got to our front porch, the upstairs tenant let me in. She was a nice lady named Manushag (or Violet if you can't pronounce Armenian names) who had two sons while living in my Pop's house. Her family came downstairs to hang out with my grandparents all the time so we were pretty friendly.

    She said “Are you hungry?” To which I replied “No, thank you.” Well you know that never works, so she made me a liverwurst sandwich. You heard me.
     
     

    I had never had liverwurst and I didn't know what it was but I was pretty scared of it. Because the name said it all – worse than liver. That's all I needed to know. I never had liver either, but the name said it all: liver. Gross!

    She was so kind and gracious, and I know I didn't hear the front door open (indicating the arrival of my Pop and Gram), so there was no escaping downstairs to their place. I was cornered and I knew it. I think some prepubescent sweat may have popped out on my upper lip at this point.

    What's a polite girl to do? Smile, say thank you, curse your grandparents for not being home and take a bite!

    I have to say the name describes it all. It was the worst thing I ever ate. I thought it tasted like a sweat sock sandwich. It was horrible and I'm so stupid, I ate the whole thing. It never occurred to me to eat a bite or two, then say I had a big lunch. I ate that whole yucky sandwich just to be polite!

    Fast forward close to forty years and I did it again! Let me just say, right now, I was raised to be polite. Polite beyond normal polite. Many, many times I've heard that my brother and I are the most polite people someone knows. We say please and thank you a lot. We never take the last appetizer. We won't show up at your house empty-handed. Great skills for making it in cutthroat society, by the way. But that's a story for another blog.

    I was on a bar show not far from home in Queens. We comics were told it was the bartender's birthday. The bartender was expecting all her friends and it was a party, and most importantly (to the comics) there was going to be food.

    I had just eaten a large dinner to make up for not eating all day, so I was pretty full.

    We arrive at the bar, and there are only about ten patrons there. After a while we get the word that the bartender is very upset that her friends haven't shown up. Also that she spent the whole day making beef stew for everyone. This woman seemed on the verge of tears. She was beside herself. I thought her friends were pretty shitty.
     
     

    She gave a bowl of beef stew to my buddy that booked me. She came out ten minutes later with another bowl. Walks right up to me – its just us two and he's already eating, and says “Who wants a bowl?” I go “Me! I want a bowl!” I'm thinking, at least its not liverwurst! Though I'm not a big fan of eating home-cooking of people I don't know well (everything I make has a generous helping of cat fur in it, for example), sometimes, you just have to bite the bullet and make a fucking birthday party.
     
     

    So I eat and I'm so stuffed its not even funny and I'm trying to make a dent in this giant portion of beef stew and mashed potatoes that she gave me. I'm like the guy with the wafer thin mint in Monty Python. I'm going to die any minute. I ate the beef and the veggies and a couple of spoons of potato and I swear I couldn't take another bite. It was like Thanksgiving, but more.

    All us comics had a bowl of stew, the booker listened to her fuming over her friends, and I think it was the worst birthday party, ever. It was even worse than that time at my barbeque where the grill broke and the burgers ended up in the driveway. Yes, the famous Lisa Harmon anti-freeze burgers.

    This poor bartender gave us glasses of water, instead of selling us bottles of water and I just felt so bad for her. Anyway another comic and I tipped her. I said, I have to get change, I want to tip her. The other comic said he would tip her too, because every time he was there, she was so nice to him. He gave her a tip and she hugged and kissed him. Then she hugged and kissed me. I said “Happy birthday.” I asked for change. I gave her a tip. She kissed me again.

    I was so stuffed I couldn't sleep. I waited till two o'clock in the morning and I was still too stuffed to sleep. I tossed and turned and digested. I was hot! I'm never hot! Never am I hot, in the winter, in my frost-bitten bedroom. You could bring polar bears to that room and you'd have to turn on the space heater because they'd feel too chilly.

    It was a terrible night, the kind of thing I don't do anymore (overeat till I'm uncomfortable). I had to learn that, believe it or not. I'm a lot like a goldfish that will eat everything you give it, and then it dies, because it ate too much. I don't do it anymore. I don't want to float to the top of the tank then get flushed down the toilet.

    I did it for this lady. I hope that others would do the same. Show a little compassion. People can be such jerks. I don't know the story with this lady, but I know she was expecting her friends and they let her down, on her birthday, which seems kind of shitty.

    Having us comedians there didn't take the sting out of that, but we were there, enjoying the food she made and giving her something to do and someone to talk to. It isn't much but its something. I could have said “I don't want any stew.” but I just didn't have the heart to do it. It would have been so mean after knowing all she was going through. That must be my compassion chip, which I've found out, you can only remove if you also remove your stupid vagina.

    Be nice. Life is short. These are human beings so treat them as such. And don't be a dick on your friend's birthday.
     
     

    Posted by Anonymous at 3:00 AM | Labels: , , | 5 comments | |

  5. The Circle of Life

    Tuesday, December 25, 2012


     
    I am happy to be able to say I was in a show on 12/20/12 and did well.  I needed that.  I made conscious improvements, and I just was more comfortable partly because I had been there before.  When I got down from the stage, other comics gave me knuckles (the pound, I believe is what it’s called).  Later, the comics and some audience members complimented me.  Things felt good again in this arena.

    I stayed and watched the whole show.  That is always my preference.  I like to step back and look at the whole canvas.  Some people create a work of art when putting a show together; others may slop it together more but it can still come out well.  Many make room to put comics in who drop by unexpectedly while others have their show planned and that’s that.  I understand both choices. 

    When I had shows, I gave lots of thought to who I booked and the order of the line-up from the viewpoint of the audience.  I charged and wanted people leaving feeling happy with their evening out.  So I didn’t book anyone I’d never heard perform, I made programs, and I wasn’t open to surprise performers and especially if I’d never heard them perform.  Sometimes that led to uncomfortable moments where a comic heard about my show, came, introduced himself to me, but didn’t expect to pay as a guest and would ask to be put on the show.  No to being on the show – it was not an open mic.  (Lisa Harmon’s mom paid, for goodness sake.  And she’d eat and drink and enjoy the show.)  I’d let the comic stay for free, but the place expected everyone to buy something.  Hearing, “I’m a comic” did nothing for the small bar/restaurants trying to keep their place in existence.  These were not comedy clubs but were open to me having shows in their establishments.

    When going over everything in my mind, I come to the same conclusion much of the time.  I like my material.  I need to work on my comfort up there.  Some audiences are easier than others for different types of comedy, but I want to be able to do my best in all kinds of scenarios. 

    When I was up there, I caught myself doing what my friend pointed out at the show where I did not do well.  I stopped and consciously planted myself and didn’t move around without a reason.  That helped me feel centered, and I even felt comfortable enough to address the noisy people in the back who may have been waiting for the music show that would follow.   I didn’t bring notes up there; no writing on my hand either.  I relaxed my brain enough to trust myself to remember.


    Another interesting thing for me to note for myself was that a comic in the show where I didn’t do so well was in both shows, and while he did well in the one I didn’t, he did not as well in the one where I did do well.  It can all change from one show to the next.  He’s funny.  But he had to work harder in the latter.  Seeing that helped me feel normal in terms of the journey.  We each have our night.  Sometimes in that circle, it is my turn.  

    The next day, 12/21, was my birthday which was good in the important ways, and the world did not end.  I’m glad.  I wasn’t afraid, but I would’ve felt further gypped. 

    Twenty-one years ago today, 12/25, I was going home from the hospital with my 2-day-old baby boy. 



     Merry Christmas.  More importantly, be Christmas.
    …
    After writing this, I learned my oldest aunt passed away on my birthday. 
    Selma, may you be in real peace and know the love of my mother and God.  Thank you, in spite of many feelings, for helping to keep me out of the foster care system when I was seven.  It was the right thing to do.


    Posted by Mindy Matijasevic at 12:00 AM | Labels: , , , , , , | 5 comments | |