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    Did ya ever want to just call your job and say:
     
    • I can't come in today.  My ass is broken.
    OR
    • I can't come in today.  My spirit is crushed.
    OR
    • I can't come in today.  I was doing yoga, and my big toe is stuck up my ass.
    OR
    • I can't make it in today.  The weight of modern society has dragged me down.
    OR
    • I won't be in.  I'm way too orgasmic to go to work today.
    OR
    • Turrets kicking in, ya phony bastard.  So I am calling in sick, condescending bigoted asshole.  You disgust me on so many levels.  Have a good day.  Shit fuck.  See you tomorrow, God willing.

    
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