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For the past few years, I haven’t consistently kept up my appearance. Of course when I am going on an audition or if I’m in a show, I do bother to look good, but in general when I go to the store or take out the garbage, I look bummy. I think I went pandemic and didn’t come back.
Today when I was returning from two stores in my sweatpants, hoodie, dungaree jacket, mask, no make-up, no earrings, I was thinking that maybe my mood would be uplifted a bit if I bothered to put in some effort to look nice. As I turned the corner, a man who appeared to be in my age range said hello and acted like he knew me. I didn’t recognize him but in case I was mistaken, I nodded. Then he came over to me and said, “You live around here, right?” I nodded and thought he needed directions or something. Well, I was wrong.
“You give me fuck, and I give you money.”
“Nooo.” I continued
walking away.
“You have Tinder?”
“Nooo.”
I waited until he was far enough away before crossing the street to my building. My head was spinning. Is there someone on Tinder who looks like me, I wondered. I'm not on any dating site. What about me screams prostitute? Nothing. Even when I look bummy, this happens. So do I really want to go out there looking good? If I had looked good, I may have attributed this event as punishment for beauty. After all, we are typically blamed for this kind of shit.
I’ve known men who said that if they were women, they’d never be broke. Yeah right. Let them bend over for anonymous desperate dick and tell me what it’s like.
When I entered my lobby, I saw that some neighbor put out a bag of refundable cans. I gratefully took the bag upstairs. After returning cans at the supermarket, I can live with myself.
Geez.
Now back to my actual life. I’ll be sharing autobiographical stories this Tuesday, March 21st, 7pm at Mon Amour Coffee and Wine, 234 West 238th Street in the Bronx.
The event is free, whether in person or on Zoom. It includes an open mic, so feel free to bring something to share. Very welcoming atmosphere. No one will ask you to fuck for money. How refreshing!
Much love to CGG-M ❤💕❤
Mindy
Matijasevic
March 2023
I felt very very very appreciated. Such welcoming hosts and attentive audience.