She So Funny

Psychopaths Regret Nothing

Were you bullied in school once, weekly or daily? My 8th grade bully sat 2nd row, last desk. Taller than David Whitson and wider than Santos Rivera, Edwina Prescott was right behind me.

The design of our old-style floor bolted desks gave Edwina the perfect target, my butt. I don't know why it started but Edwina Prescott and her protractor point were relentless. There was no way to combat her unseen poking without calling attention to myself. If you've never been subject to Catholic Elementary School disciplinary threats, you have no idea what I risked when I turned and whispered, "Stop it!" Her quiet response was a protractor poke.

Annoyed, distracted and sore, I couldn't endure another week of torture. When Sister John turned from erasing the blackboard, I raised my hand and slowly approached her. Quietly, calmly I explained my plight and asked if I could change my seat? "No, do you think you're in a restaurant?" Puzzled, I returned to my seat remembering the only time I'd been to a restaurant. I'd climbed the dank stairs to Chop Suey* on Fulton St. at Franklin Ave. and never ordered Egg Fu Yung again.

Six rows of eyes watch me sulk back down the aisle and slide into my desk. When I offered nothing else to see, as if on cue all eyes turned away. I considered a swift back hand to Edwina's big smirky grin. That satisfaction would leave me subject to suspension and my straight A "conduct" record besmirched. I couldn’t defend myself against Edwina’s protractor point poking. It continued until…I imagine it ceased to entertain her. My bully's ability to inflict harm extended as far as I allowed and Sister John ignored. I don’t know if she intimidated anyone else, protractor or no. After graduation big back Edwina shrank shadow thin to occasionally haunt my hall of would a, could a, should a.

I marvel at (and possibly envy?) those who give no thought to “authority” or consequences. My big faced, broad backed, buxom 8th grade nemesis was a child out of control. Was she emotionally disturbed, chemically unbalanced or just living her best life?

Edwina Prescott didn’t call me a racial slur, knock me to the ground or punch me in the stomach. She never spray-painted graffiti like KKK, kill all blacks, H^il Hitler or niqqer**. From elementary school to the day he died Austin Metcalf did ALL THESE THINGS AND MORE, yet his physically intimidating character and chronic anti-social behavior was NOT allowed as evidence at Karmelo Anthony’s trial for defending himself against a notorious bully. Would a, could a, should a.

*Yes that was the real name!

**You know what these are.

Rhonda's Here:

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People, if you want to enjoy a show full of laughter, I have two shows coming up in September.  Always wonderful to see friends in the audience.  😄

          Friday, September 18 at 8pm is my Almost Fall Comedy Show at The Artist, 249 City Island Avenue, City Island, Bronx, NY.  The BX29 bus gets you there.  Cover is only $15, NO minimum!  There is a menu of light fare (vegetarian inclusive) and delicious desserts that is tempting but not required.  Plus you may BYOB.  The welcoming staff will supply glasses, ice, and a corkscrew if needed.

The next night on Saturday, September 19 at 9pm, I will be performing at Pangea, 168 Second Avenue, in Paul Hallasy’s Eat Drink Laugh show.  It’s always a good time.  Besides the cover, there is a $20 minimum. I have two tickets that allows you in free but still the minimum applies.  So the first two to ask gets the complimentary tickets.  I’ll need to have your names on the list asap.  My email is mindyinthebronx@gmail.com. 

On another topic, if you are interested in purchasing my poetry chapbook, No One Called Him Topless, you may order it from the publisher.  Here is her contact info:  esther@purgatorypiepress.com  You can pay by check, Zelle, or Venmo.  Some of my poetry is humorous; some is serious. 

For those of you who know me mainly as a comic, I want to credit real friendship, memoir writing, poetry, and therapy with helping clear the way to my funny.  Additionally, and probably most importantly, my dear mother had a terrific sense of humor.  I just wish I had more quality time with her.

I appreciate your interest and support very much.

Love always to CGG-M 💜 💛 💚 💓 ❤

Mindy Matijasevic

August 23, 2026

People, the chapbook launch went very well on Sunday, July 26, 2026.  I thank Diana Gitesha-Hernandez for providing the venue and her voice (singing and speaking), her spirit, generosity, and encouragement, etc.

The backroom in Tio Pepe has a skylight and is quite inviting.  Diana really stirs up the enthusiasm.  Esther K. Smith, publisher of Klytemnestra Press, had many items to offer for purchase aside from my chapbook, No One Called Him Topless.  She was one of the featured readers along with Ron Kolm, Mindy Levokove, and Diana Gitesha-Hernandez.

Two women, who were in my creative writing class, attended the reading.  Some of my poems are not very teacher-like.  So I always feel a bit self-conscious in that situation, but that’s okay.  I grow a thicker skin.  And that is needed for my comedy path.  The women had no problem with my themes and language.  They enjoyed it very much.

Speaking of comedy, my next show at The Artist on City Island in the Bronx -- the “Almost Fall Comedy Show” – will be on Friday, September 18^th at 8pm.  Only $15 and no minimum!  You may even BYOB.  The terrific and very varied line-up:

Mindy Matijasevic  

Jose Angel Diaz                 

Paul Hallasy           

I am as excited to be an audience member as I am to be the producer.  I like my taste, and I feel good with my choices.  To top it off, those who run The Artist, Elliot and Monica Glick, are so welcoming and wonderful.  It is a performance space, not a comedy club. They do have a menu of light fare (vegetarian inclusive) and delicious desserts, tempting but not required.

If you like to plan ahead, mark your calendar for 9/18/2026 @ 8pm for hilarity!  I’d love to see you and hear you laughing. 

On another note, I have yet to step on a scale, but my jeans are sliding down.  I hope this means I lost a few pounds and not that I stretched out my jeans. 

With appreciation of you taking the time to read this,

Mindy

Major love to CGG-M  ❤ ❤ ❤

Mindy Matijasevic

August  11, 2026