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    Showing posts with label actress. Show all posts
    Showing posts with label actress. Show all posts

  1. Things Are Happenin'

    Sunday, May 5, 2019














    Many of you know my good news, but for those of you who don’t …
    https://www.facebook.com/mobmentalitytheseries/videos/1217495188420221/


    My role is a recurring one.  I feel encouraged.  I also feel blessed because 
    the director is definitely a special person.  When auditioning, her presence allowed me to do my best.  From the moment she said hello, I felt her spirit like sunshine warming me. 


    The last time I had a director whose presence made me feel like that was 
    at a teaching job.  I was lucky to have her for four years.  I may have done some of my best work at that job when she was there.  It’s something about feeling appreciated.  It makes a huge difference.


    Last night I had an interesting interaction with someone I’m connected 
    with on Facebook but never met in real life.  He lives down South but grew up in Manhattan (NYC).  He does comedy.  I do comedy.  I didn’t know he does comedy when I saw his post that he wanted to do a documentary on a topic I believe is crucial.  I was reminded of a book from many years ago.  I responded to his post about the book.  He very excitedly responded back that he had loved that book, forgot about it, and thanked me for reminding him.  Later he private messaged me. 


    Well, he has friends in Manhattan, and he heard my name numerous times 
    as a comic.  So when I commented on his post, he had recognized my name, and I am flabbergasted!!!  He wants to coordinate something down South and wants me to be a part of it. 


    I feel so validated.  When I started out in comedy -- maybe I just 
    connected with folks who I’m not in sync with, but I felt like an outsider.  I felt like I’d landed in a male locker room.  One talented woman chose not to work with me because she “didn’t want to upset the guys.”  If Richard Pryor allowed upsetting the whites stop him, we’d never have heard him.  Others backed off without being so honest.  Another would introduce me at a mic as a “feminist” in a tone that sounded like a warning.  Some young guys were threatened and unkind.  Several mature men told me that as you rise up, that shit doesn’t go on as much.  I was grateful to hear that and thrilled to feel supported.


    Some uptight people  didn’t like my language.  I’m rated R.  Maybe R+.  Other folks (audience members) told me they liked how I talked to them and not at them.  My adult students liked that about me as well.


    My experience doing comedy was different than some others.  I had been 
    a teacher of adult students when I began, I had already been a poet, writer, and actress, and comedy was an avenue of free expression to me.  I wasn’t in need of laughs as much as in need of expressing certain things.  Of course I made it funny.  Laughs happened. 


    I'm not in comedy to do knock-knock jokes.  I have shit to say.  I don't pick on people who society has already squashed -- that doesn't make me laugh.  If it doesn't make me laugh, I don't use it.  Shedding light on the oppressors is where my material lies.


    Hearing that I’m being spoken of in other parts of the country is exhilarating!!!  


    (love to CGG-M)




    Posted by Mindy Matijasevic at 12:53 AM | Labels: , , , , , , | 4 comments | |













  2. A few months ago, a man reached me through an on-line casting website 
    where my subscription had expired months before.  His email began, 
    “Let’s discuss you doing the lead …”


    I was surprised his message got through to me.  Though I could see the 
    listings, I couldn’t apply to anything because I wasn’t paid up for the year.  I wanted to be connected again, but I couldn’t spare the money.  So I really didn’t think anyone could find me through that site anymore.  But he did.


    It was for a sizzle reel to be shown to show runners down the line.  There 
    was no mention of money up front.  I’d have to take off from my job.  It seemed like it would all happen in New Jersey.  I don’t drive.  I hit reply and began my email, “I really appreciate your interest, but I won’t be available for …”  I stopped and asked myself why I was saying no.  I had no other acting gig going on.  I was mainly working my day job and doing stand-up comedy.  I actually missed acting.  I also realized it is much easier to take time off from the job when we weren’t having classes.  I re-read it and realized there’d be a ride to the location from Manhattan.


    I deleted what I wrote and told him the best time to call me.


    Fast forward, I met the director and we went to the NJ location where 
    the producer worked.  We worked on parts and they saw I had what it would take to pull off the role.  They told me I was a blessing and treated me like royalty.  When they took me out to eat, they upped whatever I ordered.  If I said medium, they ordered large.  What was not offered in money was offered in good feelings.


    The following week, we were to work on the shoot with crew and other 
    actors.  I overslept, so they came to get me at my Bronx location.  No one wasted energy on being upset with me though I was kidded about being a diva who expected to get door to door service.  I’ve got a long way to go to be a diva, but I laughed and swore I just fucked up and was up too late the night before.


    The crew and other actors were very pleasant to work with.  It only takes 
    one bitch or bastard to ruin a day, but everyone was cool.  Not a kunt in the crowd.  Can’t say my other days at the day job felt like that.  So though I was working, I felt like I was on vacation.


    One of the scenes involved a young adult son and I having a confrontation.  I knew this was really going to be heartfelt because of the parallels with my real life son.  I had real anxiety.  The actor was amazingly convincing, and as soon as I heard the pain in his angry voice, my eyes filled with tears and poured out.  After his rant, he asked for a hug.  We hugged hard.  I wished it was my son who I was hugging.  My tears ran down my face.  The camera stayed on me up close and very personal. 


    After the director said, “Cut,” I, while crying and a bit of laughing, asked, 
    “Can we eat now?”  Everyone laughed.  I wiped my face, and we all ate pizza with a variety of toppings.


    The producer’s son and other family members gave me so many 
    compliments on my acting.  I awkwardly thanked them.  I didn’t feel it was my acting as much as my reacting to the amazing performance by the one playing my son.  When I told the director that, he said that was what good acting is – letting it all deep inside and truly reacting.  He said I was outstanding, surpassed his expectations, and that it was because I was in the moment.


    I felt there is a God/dess looking out.  I felt therapy was brought to me 
    since I can’t financially afford to go to it.  Additionally, I felt that this was put out into the universe, and I hoped so much my son could feel it -- my solid raw love for him.



    To be continued …

    Posted by Mindy Matijasevic at 7:08 PM | Labels: , , , , , | 2 comments | |

  3. I Got a Good Grade on My "Report Card"

    Tuesday, April 18, 2017





    As an instructor of adult students who were already gypped in life, I know I am expected to answer to supervisors and administrators, but I consider my students the ones I aim to connect with and do right by.  Teaching is about students.  However, we are often evaluated by those who are the furthest from our students.  Administrators, funders, etc.  So on the last day of the school cycle, I often ask my students to write me a letter, letting me know what their favorite part of class was and the least favorite, so I can make it even better.  If anyone is qualified to give me feedback, I figure it is those who receive my services.  I assure them they won't hurt my feelings, and I truly want to know.

    These are excerpts:

    "...The class atmosphere is so welcoming and heart warming that it really makes you excited in the morning to get to school. ...You make learning for us to be fun in a way that we all can understand."  "...keep on doing what you are doing, so you can motivate more people like me."  "...I take classes here five days a week, but this is the only class I felt so comfortable in. My classmates were great. We are all open and comfortable with each other. ...No words can explain how I feel. ...I wish I didn't have to leave. ...I hope your new class knows how lucky they are."  "I liked how you helped us with our confidence from the first day when you had us share about ourselves to today by having us perform. The one thing I didn't like was that I didn't come on time, but I thank you for dealing with me. Thank you for helping me get closer to my goal."  "The best part of this class was my teacher. ...I underestimate myself.  My teacher gave me the confidence I needed to feel comfortable with learning."  "...The way you take the time with every one of us, you take the time to understand whatever it might be anyone is going through.  I also like how once you come into class, it's work mode, like giving us a worksheet, and we get to work as a group.  I wouldn't change anything about how you teach, so please keep caring about your students the way you do.  I have really enjoyed you and your class.  You will be missed.  Hope to see you around because I still need you in my life to get my diploma."  "...You are definitely a teacher I will remember. ...an awesome and welcoming teacher."  "...a wonderful teacher who makes us laugh and learn."

    Long before I started stand-up, a math student, Raul, insisted I should be a comedian.  I was still too chicken.  But some years after, I did it.  However, my financial life is that of an underpaid teacher, a gratefully divorced woman but with zero alimony, so if anyone out there has paid work for me to help supplement my meager salary, I am also an experienced proofreader, actress, comic, and creative writer.  Dogs and cats tend to like me (smart creatures that they are), so if you need an animal sitter, I'm open to hearing about it.  




    Posted by Mindy Matijasevic at 12:00 AM | Labels: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 comments | |

  4.  
     
     
     
     
    Though I had been feeling like I was dragging rocks inside, I managed to finish the school year at one job with a fun party and other good happenings.  I'm glad about that.  It helps to have cool co-workers.

    Then without auditioning, I was offered a small part in a play by a woman who once was my director in another play.  I agreed since I didn't have anything else going on at the moment acting-wise.  I wasn't jumping up and down over the play, but it was acceptable.  Then the same woman offered me the main role in another play.  In that one, I play a different ethnicity.  A whole new challenge.  Acting definitely keeps life ever-reaching.  Always new ground, new experiences.  I felt good about being thought of even when I hadn't auditioned.  Unfortunately, this is still the unpaid arena.  I sure need that to change.  I welcome change (and by that I mean big bucks).



    For now, I'm in two short plays to be performed the last weekend in July, and two poetry readings in August.  I have to fill in my comedy calendar. 
     
    I was playing a Yahtzee-type dice game on line.  It's a 2-player game with a chat box.  I have many of those games going on.  Out of all of them, two chatted.  One seemed sincere and polite and only spoke for a clear purpose, like to apologize for some game-related thing.  The other, after the hellos, asked if I want to suck him.  I asked if he'd like to be respectful.  No apology from him.  I forfeited the game.  It never occurred to me that playing a dice game could be seen as wanting to suck a stranger.  I was tempted to respond differently.


    Do you want to suck me?

    Ya know, I was sitting here wanting to suck something and just didn't know what.  Maybe that's it.  Maybe sucking you was what I wanted all along.  Silly me for not thinking of that.  Thanks so much for suggesting it and offering yourself so generously.  Look at how well this is turning out.  I could've never predicted.  I thought I was just here to play a dice game.  Who knew?  Next time I start a dice game, I'll think twice.  I'll think maybe I really want to go out and suck some stranger's genitals.

     
    OR

     
    Do you want to suck me?
    Thank you.  That must mean you think I'm pretty.  You're not alone.  There are many men who have a hard time when they see a pretty female.  They have to say something repulsive.  Sort of like an eleven-year-old.  

     
    OR

     
    Do you want to suck me?
    No thanks.  I'm penis-free.








    Posted by Mindy Matijasevic at 12:00 AM | Labels: , , , , | 4 comments | |