Whew!I just submitted my grant application for a
grant from the Bronx Council on the Arts.I got it in with 4 ½ hours to spare.I make myself crazy with deadlines.Announcements will be in March.Fingers crossed.I need the money
so badly.I entered the poetry
category.My confidence fluctuates.There are moments I believe it is
grant-worthy, and then there are moments I hope the judges will appreciate my
style.The hopeful part is there can be
more than one winner in a category.So
if they find several to be grant-worthy, there can be several winners.It depends.If no one wins for dance or sculpture, etc., that money can be used for
multiple winners in another category.
The Bronx Council on the Arts has
been so enriching and encouraging over the years.I’ve attended many of their workshops and
classes which are free to us.For me, it
offers what I can’t otherwise afford.And it’s high quality.
Now, let’s warm up together with laughter
this Friday!9pm at Pangea, 178 Second
Avenue near 12th Street, NYC.Only $15 cover; if you buy your ticket in advance, it’s only $10.Advance tickets here: https://cur8.com/23871/project/128512There is a minimum of $20 food/drink; the food is
excellent.Here’s the line-up:
Hey readers!I’m on the
mend though I received a call from the NYC
Dept. of Health who needed to ask
many questions because I apparently contracted the legionella bacteria.It is the bacteria of the Legionnaires
disease.Yes, I was freaked out.The Dept. of Health woman was reassuring
that the strong antibiotic I was on works for both pneumonia and legionella (an
atypical form of pneumonia).I do feel a
lot better.
Until I get the okay from the doctor on October 24th,
I am not calm about this.I am so open
to another round of the killer antibiotics if that will make me feel convinced
the legionella is gone. I may join those
people who walk around outside with a mask over their mouth and nose.I’m not contagious.However, I am susceptible to other people’s
germs.
I have wanted to get back to my normal life and made plans
accordingly.
Then I realized I was
pushing it.I canceled a number of
plans.However, Saturday morning I did
make it to a memoir poetry writing workshop.It is free.It is typically very good
quality, and it was four blocks away (Poe Park Visitors' Center) on a decent weather day.The Bronx Council on the Arts provides
wonderful services to the artist community.I am so glad I went.It was good
for my head, heart, and all other parts.I have homework!And I am glad I
have homework.I don’t lack stories to
write, but I often need a push to write them.This is perfect for me.It goes
on for 3 more weeks.I am thrilled.
For those of you who like to plan in advance, I am putting
together
another comedy show at The
Artist on City Island on December 28, 2019, 8pm.Put that on your calendar.I deliver.
Isubmitted to a comedy festival. Those accepted will be announced by September 1, 2014. There's an entry fee and I got the early bird special entry fee, so I feel reasonable about it. I accept that the prize money has to come from somewhere. I don't have a real sense if submitting is premature, or if I'm a contender. I go back and forth on that. But I had the money and chose to take a shot. It can really boost things along if I'm among those selected to participate. Paid work, exposure to some who can impact my road, and all that jazz.
I know some who have won in the past. They are definitely further along. They may have been further along before entering as well.
I asked around some to hear views about entering. Of course, in any competition, the majority do not win. So some of those folks felt ripped off. Having to pay someone to watch their tape didn't sit well. I understand that too.
Speaking of competitions, I'm also in the running in the poetry category of the annual competition from the Bronx Council on the Arts. They select people for B.R.I.O. (Bronx Recognizes Its Own) awards which comes with a grant. There are many categories. I won in 1999 for nonfiction literature and in 2001 for poetry. There is no entry fee for this as the money comes from grants. The monetary prize would help me a lot now.
....
On a totally different note, I have had a twisted back for over a week now. I was in so much pain. Took a hot shower, had Ben-Gay on, but my sleeping surface isn't helpful and may be partly responsible. It had been getting better last week, but then maybe I re-injured it in my sleep. I couldn't do much this past weekend. Took me over eight hours to get one small wash done at the Laundromat. Ugh.
Then there's all the emotional stuff which is what I consider the real life. There are many people I want to be able to make contact with while we are all still on this Earth. Many are cousins who were kept in the dark about what my life was all about growing up. The problem is how risky it all is. Some prefer the dark. They paint their own pictures. Some could never believe things I experienced by people they had very different experiences with. Some feel abandoned by me but have no idea how painful it all is for me. Some can't process my reality. There's a lot of blaming the victim that goes on. Then there are people who were friends, and for whatever reasons, some still unclear to myself, I didn't continue the friendship. One has weighed on my heart much of my adult life. Billy Groginsky. A very good human. I often want to contact him but am not sure what to say that would mean anything to another person. He didn't deserve to be made to feel bad by me. He was always good to me. I've cried much over this.
There are aunts and uncles who I wish could understand what weighs on my heart. I had hoped my autobiography would've been written before now. I had hoped everyone would've understood more of the picture. But it isn't written. Truthfully it wouldn't have been as good as when I do write it because I have reached deeper understanding now. But my grandparents, parents, and my mother's oldest three siblings have all passed. I hope they are still alive in whatever form and aware of me. Sometimes I feel sure they are. I talk to them often. Some cousins and friends have passed too. It all hurts a lot. The estrangement with those alive hurts too.
When my body isn't up to par, I can really delve into unhappy places. I guess it boils down to missing my mommy which was often my grandma as well. While I miss everyone, these were also very troubled relationships (not so much with my mother as I never had to doubt her love, but that's a whole other tragedy). Anyway, I remembered a once best friend telling me about the wonders of Alleve. I bought some, and it helped my back (and mood) a lot.
Some relationships at work are great while others are challenging in very different ways. Sometimes for breakfast, I watch this to help me get ready.
...
Then, due to the era in which we are living, there are moments that are such wonderful surprise gifts. A woman on Facebook from Australia saw my video and wrote:
