One way or another, we made it through the holidays and
survived 2017.
Grateful to be here.
I am happy to be part of the Twisted Lipstick Comedy Show in
Brooklyn on January 12, 2018. It’s a
very, very, funny line-up. Now would be
a good time to order your tickets on Eventbrite which means a bargain
price. Please mention my name when you
do.
I’m off from work for this week. It is nice to sleep as much as I want and
not
wake to an alarm. I had a bunch of
dreams, or one long one -- can’t tell.
My
darling Luigi (my canine son who is in Heaven) appeared several times.
There were many scenes and people that are
fuzzy in my memory. I’m pretty sure my
son and ex appeared. What I remember
more clearly was a scene where I was sitting on a step somewhere sort of
outdoors and sort of indoors like a train station or something. A man, who I may have not known at all or was
slightly familiar with, sat down also and was trying to get with me. It was all about him and his desires and how
beautiful he found me, etc., etc. It
didn’t feel good. Just as I often have
felt in awake life, I began to feel punished by his desire. He turned to face me and kept on talking
without even trying to gauge if I wanted to be spoken to. I responded to my discomfort/fear by getting
up, saying, “I’m not comfortable. You
are too aggressive. I don’t like
this.” And, I walked away. He shouted out an apology as I left.
As many of you know, I have been proud of my twelve and a half
years of
being in my penis-free zone (3 of those years were while the ex was
still in my apartment giving me little choice but to totally cut him off). The dream gave me some confidence that I will
walk away from bad. I’ve known men who
say, “I’m not a bad guy.” What a selling
point. I can’t remember ever describing
myself by saying, “I’m not a bad woman.”
If the best thing one can say about himself is that he isn’t bad, that’s
bad. And since there is soooo much bad
out there, some disguised as good for a while as I’ve learned the hard way, it
has just felt much safer and saner to stay away. Since I’ve divorced, the few men I’ve felt
attracted to over the years are married.
After my initial disappointment, I’d eventually thank God for not
letting me have what I had thought I wanted.
What I needed was a lot of
recovery and learning time. That is what
I got.
You
can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, yeah
You might find you get what you need!
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, yeah
You might find you get what you need!
Speaking of the era of the Rolling Stones, the videos of the
last episode
of the What Were the ‘60s Really Like? show is on you tube. Below is part 2 where I read my 3-minute
slice of memoir from that time of my life.
I set it to start right at my part if you aren’t into seeing more.
...
Oh, I forgot to mention, my button’s bigger than your button.
Here’s hoping we survive 2018 and the cheeto’s button.
