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    Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
    Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts







  1. I was going to have a Mother's Day themed blog, but I feel emotionally exhausted from it all.  Maybe next time or maybe not.  So I decided to present something more likely to cause laughter.




    Posted by Mindy Matijasevic at 8:35 PM | Labels: , , , | 0 comments | |

  2. Oh. Right. It's Monday.

    Monday, August 5, 2013

    By Samantha DeRose








    What is it about Mondays that makes me forget it's Monday?  And more importantly, my blog day?

    Firstly, I want to mention that I was e-speaking to co-blogstress, Lisa Harmon and she mentioned how difficult it is to find a new blog topic every week.  I get it Lisa.  I get it.  See below.



    I wrestle with that whole notion every Monday without fail.

    One of the search results suggested to make lists.  Been there, done that.  But here's another:

    Things I've done in the last 24 hours:
    1)  Bought mom gift for 75th birthday and made (& wrapped) a handcrafted (see a few blogs ago) gift.
    1a) Ironed clothes for boys and myself for celebration.
    2)  Celebrated mom's 75th birthday with family.
    3)  Performed stand-up at Tierney's immediately following Mom's party with some really fabulous people.
    4) Tried to sleep.
    5) Couldn't sleep.
    6)  Woke for work, showered, ironed, coffeed, bolted.
    7) Worked.
    8)  Took Ethan to cello/piano lessons (and signed Ryan up for piano lessons)
    9)  Made two meatloaves (they're cooking now).
    10) Typed (typing) blog.

    Another suggestion on the list was to write a review.  Here are a few:
    1) Restaurant:  Palazzo, Montclair, NJ.  Nice, affordable (I didn't pay), some gluten free menu options.
    2)  Movie:  Gone:  Girl claims to be kidnapped, no one believes her.  Her sister goes missing, girl asks for help, cops think she's psychotic.   I'm usually good at figuring movies out before the ending, but this one threw me for a loop.  Not the best movie, not the worst for a psychological thriller.  I had nightmares.
    3)  Book(s):
    Dan Brown's Inferno, Robert Langdon can't understand how a history professor always gets into tight spots.  This time he goes through hell.  Review: Eh.
    Piper Kerman's Orange is the New Black WASP goes to prison for a year and becomes more compassionate.  Review:  Worth the read.
    Snowflower and the Secret Fan:  Chinese foot binding and BFFs.  Review:  Great

    Well, that's about it, folks.  I don't want to use up all of the suggestions for next week's blog.

    What I DO want to elaborate on are these two things:
    A)  I had a great time celebrating my beautiful mother's 75th birthday.  We had a great day honoring a smart, beautiful, kind-hearted woman.  I am truly blessed.
    B)  Though I was exhausted by the time I got there, the show at Tierney's was great.  I met new people and thoroughly enjoyed performing, watching the others perform, and the wonderfully receptive audience.  Three of my dear friends showed up as well as two former colleagues who I hadn't seen in years.

    I think the reason I couldn't sleep last night was that I was on a high from all of the goodness that surrounds me.

    Oh, and Happy real Birthday, Mom.  I love you.


    Posted by She So Funny at 4:49 PM | Labels: , , , , , , | 2 comments | |

  3. MOM + COMEDY = MOMEDY

    Saturday, June 1, 2013

    By Lisa Harmon

    My Mom did a set! A real stand-up comedy set, at a real stand-up comedy club! Yes! I can’t believe it either! After years of supporting me at open mics, she finally took the plunge!

    Over the years comics have told my Mom how funny she is, and she’s been invited to the stage many times, but she has always refused.

    If you’re a comic you may be wondering where my Mom has been. She moved to Florida last year. So I can no longer do even a one person bringer show!

    But I’m down here visiting da Muddah and we hit the open mic at Catskills Comedy Club last Monday. They were having a comedy contest - $3 to enter.  $2 of the $3 goes to the pool for the winning comic, and second place wins a guest spot.

    Well we’d been there before. We went to the open mic Thursday night, which was just a regular mic. It was our first time there and it was fun. I performed, Mom did not!  I got to meet some comics I only knew from Facebook. And of course we’re comics, we could be on Mars, but if there’s an open mic, we feel at home. So even though I only knew some of these people through Facebook, and even though I was far, far from home, it made no difference. I may as well have been sitting in Tino’s or Frank Terranova’s mic. With comics, it is all the same. All so familiar and comforting.

    I signed up for the contest and paid $3. Mom and I bought sodas and sat down. Eventually some more people showed up and they started the contest. The prize money was placed on a barstool on stage. After a couple of head-to-head rounds, the MC announced there was one comic too many. Instead of giving the comic a buy to the second round, he told my Mom (as the sole audience member) she had to do a set and compete! He paid her entry fee! To my surprise, my Mom agreed to do it!

    Mom did three minutes, which I taped on my phone. She told me if I ever showed that video to anyone, she’d kill me!  Call me, I'll show it to you!

    But it was funny! My Mom is a very sarcastic, acerbic, quick wit. But apparently all that goes away when you hand her a mic and put her on a stage in front of strangers. But she got laughs! She really did! I can’t believe the guts my Mom has!

    I tried to give her some advice before she went up there - I suggested she talk about something that makes her angry. I told her to get really animated and let it rip. She didn’t do that. I don’t know why, it would have been great, everything makes her angry. I mean, Europe, reverse mortgages, skirted bathing suits, it isn’t hard to find things that piss her off! But she didn’t talk about any of that. I don’t remember everything she mentioned but I do recall this line “Give it up for peanut butter and jelly.” She’s so crazy. I’m so proud of my Mom. I’m so happy I have a Mom with a mouth and an attitude and a backbone. I’m so glad I wasn’t raised to be a caretaker for some ungrateful family.

    I’m extremely lucky because I have a Mom that is loud, opinionated and ballsy. I’m so fortunate she’s not a doormat, slave, second class citizen. I’m very proud of my Mom and grateful for everything I’ve learned from her. And screw material, what you need up there on stage is guts, and the women in my family have plenty. I have to thank my Mom for making me who I am today! And I’m so proud of her for kicking comedy butt! That’s my amazing Mom!

    Posted by Anonymous at 3:00 AM | Labels: , , , | 3 comments | |

  4. Nipped in the Bud. Sandy's Coming.

    Sunday, October 28, 2012


    By Samantha DeRose

    For once in my life, I decided to be ultra-prepared.  No, not for the hurricane, sillies.   For my blog.

    It’s Saturday and Sandy’s Coming (if you knew that my mother’s name was Sandy, you’d be equally as grossed out as I was when I read that headline on Huffington Post).

    I decided to go out last night, Friday, (I know, you’re reading this on Monday, if you have power…St. Patrick’s Day if you just got power back) after a week of the plague (see last Monday’s post) and with a blown out back from coughing so much.  Yep.  My bad back and I decided to hit Stop & Shop for emergency supplies at 8pm. Without a list.  Without a clue.

    Guess how much was left at the store.  You’re right.  Not much.  But what was there, I got, muthuh fukkuhz!  Here’s what I gotz.



    4 gallons of Stop & Shop water
    5 six packs of Stop & Shop bottled water
    1 box S&S Honey Crunch Os
    1 box S&S Cinnamon Crunch Squares
    1 box S&S Check Squares
    1 gallon Sunny D
    2 bottles Arizona iced tea
    1 loaf bread
    1 jar peanut butter
    1 bunch bananas
    1 bag apples
    1 four pack AA batteries
    1 twelve pack AAA batteries
    (D batteries all gone.  I can rig the AAs and the AAAs I bought to fit in the flashlight, right? If not, they will DEFINITELY be used for something else.  CONTROLLERS FOR THE XBOX, PREVERTS!)
    1 box Duraflame colorful flame logs
    2 packs of 6 battery operated tea lights
    2 flameless candles (glittered for Christmas)
    2 bottles Coke
    2 bottles Diet Coke
    1 package Pop-Ems sugared doughnuts
    1 bag S&S pretzels (pink package for breast cancer)
    1 bag gluten free pretzels
    1 box gluten free bagel chips
    2 packages Starbucks Iced Coffee mix
    2 boxes Parmalat milk
    1 bag dog food

    I also went to Home Depot this morning and asked for a generator.  The man in the orange vest laughed at me.

    I also went to Sports Authority and asked for lanterns.  The boy in the red shirt laughed at me.

    TIME WARP

    OK.  It’s now Sunday (Monday if you have power…Easter if you just got power back).
    I checked facebook for some disaster prep tips and here’s what I did today. (PS.  I’ve spent almost $400 prepping for Sandy… and by the way, today’s headline was equally as disturbing, considering my mom’s name is Sandy).



    -Turned on the extra chest freezer
    -Cleaned out my refrigerator (broke my heart to throw away that jar of something with the fuzz on top…ok… those jars of somethings)
    -Went to Acme and bought more water (There was none on the shelf, but I found a cart full of water, looked around for about 10 seconds for the cart’s owner, grabbed a case, threw it into my cart, and ran.)
    -Bought Milo (to flavor the water because I hate plain water).
    -Bought 12 cans of Chef Boyardee Beefaroni and Mini Ravioli
    -Bought cheese 
    -Bought 4 bags of Doritos (to add to the four in my closet at home)
    -Bought Halloween candy (because if we run out of cheese and Doritos, I'm hitting the Peanut M&Ms, my Bitchezzz!)
    -Went to AC Moore and bought 12 jars of candles (After smelling all of the candles – the only candles that they had left – trust me, Blueberry Oatmeal scent does not smell as tasty as the name implies… I did manage to shove an elderly woman aside and grabbed all of the lilac scented candle jars out of her wrinkled paws…and might I say, delightful!)
    -Returned to Sports Authority to see if a shipment of lanterns had arrive and was laughed at again.
    -Filled gallon zip lock bags with water and froze them (this reminded me of the time that my best friend, Marygrace, and I, on a hot summer day, when we were way too old, took zip lock bags, filled them with water, bent over, suctioned the bags to our heads, stood upright, and then pissed our pants looking at each other with our hair floating up into the bags of water, a la Medusa, on top of our heads.  I would not recommend doing this if a new neighbor just moved in next door and you are trying NOT to set an impression that two escaped mental patient live in your house)
    -Cleared the entire basement floor of everything (as my boys’ bedrooms are in the basement, I do not care to discuss what I cleared off the floor)
    -Put water bottles and laundry detergent bottles filled with water into the extra chest freezer (Proof that hoarding does pay off.  I don't know why I don't throw empty laundry detergent bottles away.  It's an illness.  But an illness that came through for me.)
    -Found and sanitized coolers (I’ve using one as a barrier in my yard –for six years - so my dog couldn’t escape through the hole in the fence)
    -Found the sump pump
    -Talked to my Aunt Bonnie from Florida
    -Emptied the water from the last storm out of the sump pump -Replaced the hose on the sump pump with my garden hose (the original hose was cut during the last storm because someone, frustrated that it kept kinking, said “Why on earth would anyone need a hose this long?”  The same person didn’t understand that, by placing a shortened hose just outside the house – and not into a sink or down the length of the driveway far away from the house– the water just seeped back into the flooding basement)
    -As the spray nozzle was corroded onto the hose, I solicited the help of my next door neighbor (Dad) to dislodge the nozzle
    -Gathered wood for my fireplace. (Now, this seems like a simple task.  Given the bad back, I decided to only gather twigs and leave the heavier logs (heh) for the kids to haul in.  So, I walked across the yard carrying an armload of twigs.  Pre-tty simple, eh?  Except!  Except for the moment that I stumbled on the remnant of a dog bog, lost my balance, and pinched my left nipple between two twigs.  If you need a little perspective on pain, imagine a long,  hot needle piercing through the nip and jolting all the way down to your nether girl part… because that's where the pain went.  To Madge!  And it doesn’t go away.  And I sleep on my STOMACH (and nips for matter!))

    Suffice it to say, I’m having a large drink and those frozen zip lock bags of water were needed slightly earlier than expected.

     Be safe everyone.  School's canceled.  Sandy’s coming.

    Posted by She So Funny at 10:26 PM | Labels: , , , , , , | 4 comments | |

  5. WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE

    Saturday, October 6, 2012


    By Lisa Harmon

    This week’s we’re discussing shows we’ve done with friends, family or coworkers in the audience, hence the theme “when worlds collide.” 

    Here is the worst thing that ever happened to me when my Mom was in the audience once (when worlds collided): 

    “Lisa, what is a fluffer?”  My Mom asked me after a comic said ‘fluffer” on stage.  It was very awkward for me and my Mom!

    Other than this once incident,  I don’t have anything else!  I really have never had any other negative repercussions from having family, friends and/or coworkers in the audience.  Thankfully all the people in the “other world” – the not-comedy world, are very supportive and have good senses of humor!

    Either way, I never worry about people coming to my shows.  Before I get onstage, I don’t really know what material I will be doing.  I just get up there and start talking.  I talk.  I listen.  Wherever we go, we go.  That is determined by the audience and me.  I don’t avoid certain jokes, I just go to the material that comes naturally out of the stuff we’re talking about.  I also usually find a place to stick in my new stuff, because that is my favorite stuff to do.

    I don’t know if other comics are concerned about who may be in the crowd, but maybe this just doesn’t bother me because of my background.

    A hundred years ago when I became a comedian, I somehow hooked up with this man who put me on these shows – in churches.  I had been a comic for just a few months.  Now I found myself having to do fifteen minutes, squeaky clean inside these church halls.  These audiences were comprised almost entirely of really old ladies plus and an old man or two and usually a priest thrown in.  And did I mention, we were in a CHURCH!?!?!

    We know the mantra – stagetime, stagetime, stagetime!  So I did it.  I performed for these church ladies for months!  I wrote a whole new set for these ladies!  I clearly could not do my regular act, which I had been doing mostly at Stand-Up New York.  It was not filthy but not clean enough and probably a little too hip for the church ladies.  I wrote a new act just for them that mostly centered around an argument over a Laverne & Shirley lunchbox.

    Did I mention I was killing at these things?  I was.  Plus I was getting paid $2 a performance!

    Since those days I’ve worked tons of clean shows and rooms and I’ve even done some kids shows, believe it or not! 

    So I really don’t care who is in the audience.  I do my act as clean or dirty as I feel the occasion warrants, and I generally get a good response.  I’ve never been accosted after a show and accused of being un-funny or worse, offensive.  I’m sure I have offended people but no one has ever gotten in my face about it. 

    But, if someone were to do that to me, I already know what I would say.  Because I have thought about it.  I know there have been times on stage when I have probably offended people.  I have said things sometimes that I regretted saying.  And I rake myself over the coals for things like that sometimes.  How could I say this?  How could I say that?  But you know what, here’s what I would say, and this is the truth:  It was a joke.  If I hurt your feelings I am sorry.  But I was just trying to be funny.

    I have always maintained that putting your foot in your mouth is an occupational hazard in this business.  We can’t let that stop us!  We are the last holdouts against hypocrisy, lies and misinformation, and that’s one of the most important jobs there is!

    Oh, and none of us should feel too bad about what we say onstage, because none of us could ever top that Miss Teen USA contestant.  Remember her?

    Posted by She So Funny at 3:51 AM | Labels: , , , , | 3 comments | |