I know every family has secrets. The healthier the family, the less there are
secrets. Ours is of the other variety. The kind of great pretending to make things
look a certain way no matter for whom it causes pain.
Though I was told that my aunt passed, and I responded and
wanted to know when the funeral would be, I was not told when and where my aunt’s
funeral was until it was over. This was no accident. It is consistent with a cousin attempting to
discredit me with the Bronx Council on the Arts and even risking her/his own
license to do it. S/he didn’t like what
I wrote of my autobiography in progress.
It may be more than s/he can handle as that cousin is from the protected
end of the family. Instead of beginning
to realize the emotional horror that took place for many of us at the other end
of the family, this person followed the family tradition of deciding the
truth-teller is crazy. Here’s the very
sad and disturbing part. This person is
a therapist of sorts.
My need to be at the funeral was not factored in, I’m
sure. Anytime I have anything to do with
the family I was born into, who I naturally loved, I go through so much that
requires healing time.
I wanted to believe I was going to celebrate New Year’s Eve
in a festive way for the first time in several years, and I put the word
out. I want to thank Mindy Levokove,
Anne Leighton, and Jackie Sheeler for welcoming me to join in their New Year’s
plans. They were all different and
appealing, but I ended up choosing to stay home with my furry boy, Luigi.
I had expected to feel differently than I did. It was okay.
I’ll aim for better than okay for next time.
There’s much I want to say of the past year in terms of
highs and lows, but my heart is a bit too heavy right now. For a She
So Funny blogger, I haven’t been funny in a while. I am grateful to be part of this group of
seven who, for the most part, are also real people with full existences and not
the joke machines some think comics are, even some other comics. We are fortunate when we can find the funny
in not so funny circumstances. When we
can make others laugh with it, we’ve turned pain into art.
1/1/2013
